Hi guys.
Opi' here and i'm an addict. I've been using since i was 15/16 and i'm now 21. I recently done 8 days sober, relapsed for 4 and was currently on 7 days clean until i used a .1 bag of heroin today. I truely felt strong and better this morning but as the day dragged on i started to become starving and i went out stealing to get food. This lead me to stealing more meat than intended and selling some, thus opening up smack avenues.
Lesson learned. No matter where i move to, if i go back to my old way of life it is inevitable that i will use heroin again.
Will i be back to square one tomorrow or just feel slightly bad for a day or two? I hope so because i can deal with that. Anyway,
Hi all.
(Im from Scotland)
UPDATE WITH A LITTLE ABOUT ME FROM A POST IN ANOTHER THREAD
It's just i've been here before so many time's. My back story is quite the fuck of fuckups tbh. My mum was an addict all my life and i hated the stuff, it was in no way related that i became the same. I used to run downstairs and drop kick people for "squaring" her up when she was dopesick (i was like 10) When i think back, OUCH. If someone was squaring me up and i was dope sick it would hurt like a motherfucker if my kid came and fucked that up. No wonder i got my ass kicked haha!
I was big and ugly enough at 13 to 15ish to take pills, whizz and everything inbetween that i made my own mind up. I smashed many people for offering me it until a close friend smoked it in front of me and i thought fuck it give me a try. Hooked since.
So when i had gear and mum was ill, i couldn't watch her rattle? I gave it to her and it works the same in reverse as fucked up as that is. For years we both used, it was easy, 2 incomes on seperate weeks meant a constant supply along with me punting eckies and MK. She even kept my stuff so we were bust safe. We got on the methadone and stayed clean 6 months to a year, 2012. I was the main MK dealer in my town, i supplied every area pretty much and we both were IVing the stuff excesivly.
She had NO veins, groin was dead too, so after such a massive length of time taking MK which drys even my veins up after 2 hits, i started to worry. It was clearly very danergous for both us. More so her. We would have massive arguements because i wanted to not take it. "You can't tell me what to do!" People said shit like you'd think we were a couple which hurt because it was so sick but i felt that i had to protect her as i always did.
She didn't understand that we were peddling the stuff to survive. The more we took the less we made. Anyway, after no MK for a few months even though i know she took it when i wasn't around, she was very delerious one night. Complaining of pains in her lungs. She often got sick throughout life so i thought perhaps it was some thing bad. I called NHS 24 when it got worryingly bad and over 3 days. Useless cunts needed her to confirm but my mum had a groin operation years before and went through hell being an addict they provided no opiates. They packed her wound daily to keep it clean with no opiates. Ouch!
I eventually called her doctor after my methadone clinic realized how worried i was. It was genious~! I called her doc out and he called a non emergency ambulance.
Turns out she had endocarditis. After a week long battle, she seemed on the up and up until it spread to her lung which then collapsed. We made the dicision to turn the machine off and i never got to speak to her after her lung collapsing. This was without a doubt the hardest and most emotional period on my entire life. It still doesn't feel real. It hurts typing this. I miss her so much, as fucked up as my story is she was my mum. She was my emotions guardian and i've been lost without her.
I ended up back on the gear after my 6 month to 1 years hiatus and got chucked off my methadone, and here i am!
Opi' here and i'm an addict. I've been using since i was 15/16 and i'm now 21. I recently done 8 days sober, relapsed for 4 and was currently on 7 days clean until i used a .1 bag of heroin today. I truely felt strong and better this morning but as the day dragged on i started to become starving and i went out stealing to get food. This lead me to stealing more meat than intended and selling some, thus opening up smack avenues.
Lesson learned. No matter where i move to, if i go back to my old way of life it is inevitable that i will use heroin again.
Will i be back to square one tomorrow or just feel slightly bad for a day or two? I hope so because i can deal with that. Anyway,
Hi all.
(Im from Scotland)
UPDATE WITH A LITTLE ABOUT ME FROM A POST IN ANOTHER THREAD
It's just i've been here before so many time's. My back story is quite the fuck of fuckups tbh. My mum was an addict all my life and i hated the stuff, it was in no way related that i became the same. I used to run downstairs and drop kick people for "squaring" her up when she was dopesick (i was like 10) When i think back, OUCH. If someone was squaring me up and i was dope sick it would hurt like a motherfucker if my kid came and fucked that up. No wonder i got my ass kicked haha!
I was big and ugly enough at 13 to 15ish to take pills, whizz and everything inbetween that i made my own mind up. I smashed many people for offering me it until a close friend smoked it in front of me and i thought fuck it give me a try. Hooked since.
So when i had gear and mum was ill, i couldn't watch her rattle? I gave it to her and it works the same in reverse as fucked up as that is. For years we both used, it was easy, 2 incomes on seperate weeks meant a constant supply along with me punting eckies and MK. She even kept my stuff so we were bust safe. We got on the methadone and stayed clean 6 months to a year, 2012. I was the main MK dealer in my town, i supplied every area pretty much and we both were IVing the stuff excesivly.
She had NO veins, groin was dead too, so after such a massive length of time taking MK which drys even my veins up after 2 hits, i started to worry. It was clearly very danergous for both us. More so her. We would have massive arguements because i wanted to not take it. "You can't tell me what to do!" People said shit like you'd think we were a couple which hurt because it was so sick but i felt that i had to protect her as i always did.
She didn't understand that we were peddling the stuff to survive. The more we took the less we made. Anyway, after no MK for a few months even though i know she took it when i wasn't around, she was very delerious one night. Complaining of pains in her lungs. She often got sick throughout life so i thought perhaps it was some thing bad. I called NHS 24 when it got worryingly bad and over 3 days. Useless cunts needed her to confirm but my mum had a groin operation years before and went through hell being an addict they provided no opiates. They packed her wound daily to keep it clean with no opiates. Ouch!
I eventually called her doctor after my methadone clinic realized how worried i was. It was genious~! I called her doc out and he called a non emergency ambulance.
Turns out she had endocarditis. After a week long battle, she seemed on the up and up until it spread to her lung which then collapsed. We made the dicision to turn the machine off and i never got to speak to her after her lung collapsing. This was without a doubt the hardest and most emotional period on my entire life. It still doesn't feel real. It hurts typing this. I miss her so much, as fucked up as my story is she was my mum. She was my emotions guardian and i've been lost without her.
I ended up back on the gear after my 6 month to 1 years hiatus and got chucked off my methadone, and here i am!
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