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Im on a merri go round that wont stop - Xanax (alprazolam)

S

sars76

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 4, 2013
Messages
10
Location
Sydney Australia
Hi,

This is my first time here and I was hoping I could get some support and information.

I am 34 and have developed a very high addiction to Xanax. I have done what most other addicts have done to get there pills.

I would like to hear from people, share stories and if anyone has gone into detox for this problem and what I might expect, not knowing is making me anxious.
I am scheduled for an assessment next week, they want to get me in to detox in the next couple of weeks...as I have 2 children; the shame I am about to face telling my parents is overwhelming.
This is all very confronting and I would rather keep being in denial but I can see what it is doing to my life, my family and my personality. I have gained weight, distanced myself from friends and become isolated in my own world.

All my energy goes into my children, after that I have no energy for anything else, I am exhausted, I have memory loss and I can’t get through my day without my pills.
I want this to stop but at the same time becoming sober is going to be become a whole new scary experience. I have a lot to work on.

Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I look forward to hearing from anyone going through the same thing.

Sar
 
There's really no need to ashamed of becoming addicted to a benzodiazepine because they're dependence and addiction causing drugs, even to someone with huge resolve. I'm sure that since you've arrived at this decision, you realize that it's the best course of action for yourself and your children, something which takes strength of character.

As for your question, detox centers have different protocols, but chances are you'll be switched to another benzodiazepine which is longer acting such as diazepam (valium), and/or an anti-seizure medication to help you cope with the symptoms. Usually there's a risk of seizures, but when tapered correctly and done under medical supervision, that risk is nullified.

The taper in itself will be more comfortable compared to when you stop completely, where you'll feel intense anxiety, and an incessant fight-flight response. You'll also experience some depression, agitation, panic, anger, discomfort, and tremors. All these things can be very heavy on your psyche, and need a lot of inner strength and patience.

The symptoms will be hardest when you first stop and last for weeks, after that that they'll start getting milder where you'll run into a phase called PAWS which consists of the symptoms that occur after the immediate symptoms are over. PAWS symptoms are usually things such as anxiety, depression, and insomnia but to a much milder extent than the immediate symptoms, allowing you to function if you manage them correctly.

You'll also want to look into some OTC supplements for when the acute withdrawal is over such as valerian, kava kava, and magnesium. These things can mimic the way benzodiazepines behave but to a much less pronounced degree.

Do you mind elaborating on the degree of your habit, such as the dosage and the period of time that you have used the alprazolam (xanax) for? These things matter because you'll be able to get a ballpark estimation of the severity and duration of the withdrawal symptoms.

Moving your thread over to Sober Living.

BDD -> SL

Hello by the way and welcome to bluelight sar!
 
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Congratulations on knowing that you need help and admitting it to your parents. You have nothing to be ashamed of and I hope that your parents will focus on the fact that you are seeking help. In addition to detox, will the people doing your assessment make suggestions for support after detox? I think that getting psychological support, especially when you will be dealing with the demands of children, is going to be critical for you. Mothering is exhausting and stressful under the best circumstances, so you will need added support as you learn new strategies for coping without the pills.

You are very brave for confronting this. It will take enormous effort and courage and patience. As a mother you give all that to your children every day. Look at it as nurturing yourself as well as you nurture your children.<3
 
You will be fine. Its your first time at the rodeo and well a hospital is where you need to be to get off that type of drug. I went to detox my first time at 19. Im not sure how I ended up drinking so much at any early age but anyways, your being a man about it and doing the right thing. You might have underlying anxiety issues. I was buying xanax and the like long before I was prescribed it. I think you will find out alot about yourself through this experience. Dont expect anyone to hold your hand, but you will get medicine as you can die coming off that stuff. Last but not least dont make any new friends in detox.
 
personally i would not go to a detox, tell your Dr. you need to taper and work out a huge taper plan over 6 months. It will take a while to recover but i've done it, made it through, and repeated the cycle a few times. The first time is the easiest at least.

a detox for a benzo dependency is akin to human torture.
 
Taper, taper, taper.

You have the resolve to break the psychological addiction, don't screw that up by making the process of breaking the physical aspect so traumatic. During this time you can find out exactly what is awaiting you in your path to recovery. We can help, so can your doctor.

You got this.
 
RobotRipping said:
personally i would not go to a detox, tell your Dr. you need to taper and work out a huge taper plan over 6 months. It will take a while to recover but i've done it, made it through, and repeated the cycle a few times. The first time is the easiest at least.

a detox for a benzo dependency is akin to human torture.
Click to expand...

I have to agree. A detox/rehab is set up to handle your case on average 5 to 31 days.Some will keep you longer but you have kids and I suppose you can't be away for 6 to 12 months. I was rx'ed 10mg a day for about 4 years. I detoxed at an outpatient which took 8 months and that was fast. I would check outpatient options. Maybe call your insurance company. I wish you the very best of luck.
 
i never thought i would be able to stop xanax, i thought i was going to be on it for the rest of my life,
i did it, may 30th will be 1 year

went to detox, shit was way to fast, and i did a slow librium taper, for 3 months
i will say when i started tapering till about 5 months i was feeling real sick, anxiety levels thru the roof, it was bad
but for how bad it was i am grateful, cuz there is no way i want to experience that again

good luck , benzobuddies.org is a wealth of benzo withdrawl suggestions and stuff
 
First restructure your life to allow you to get healthy.

Plan a taper schedule and begin reducing.

Ride out withdrawals for one month.

<snip>

Revisit the emotions and memories that benzodizapines were numbing before.

If time and situation allows, go on walks or run. This will stimulate both natural GABA and endorphins. It will also allow you to clear your head and take your mind off of anxiety.

Correct the health problems that were created by the drug use. Vitamin b12 deficiency, etc. Get a vitamin b complex, some fish oil, and a magnesium supplement.

Stay positive! :)
 
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I didnt even take into consideration how fast they would take you off. Also I think alot of people with benzo habits actually need a bit of benzos, just not as many as they are taking. I have had chronic anxiety all my life and I used to drink alot. I had gone to detox 3 times for alcohol. Anyways I got on a high dose of klonopin and now I can drink normally, but to be honest I dont really like to drink anymore. I might have a drink if Im with a group of friends, on a date, or if someone ask me to have a drink with them. I would never stop taking benzos as they have changed my life for the better. I never abused them and I dont think I could, because I would just fall asleep. I get no high or euphoria from them. I just used to have panic attacks and always be nervous. I even passed out and threw up from anxiety. I got prescribed a gauntlet of psych meds and the only thing that helped was benzos and I ended up with klonopin. I was given the option of xanax but I prefer klonopin. Xanax makes me sleepy and I think it would affect my driving. But I digress they will detox you fast and put you on the street in less than a week and the PAWS will most likely be a bitch.
 
I agree that a taper must be involved. I am currently on 2-3 mg's of xanax a day but binged up to 5 mg's. I have been on it for 3 years and after a vacation that caused my depression to flare up and overwhelmed me, I plan to begin my taper. I already have gone from an unregulated schedule, to 2.5 milligrams a day within a week..It is all your mentality. It is very easy to freak YOURSELF out when you are on such a short acting drug....I have read that people sometimes don't even get withdrawal symptoms most of the time if they do it correctly (long taper). If you are looking to avoid a heavy detox, I suggest a long taper switching over to another long acting benzo...I am in a similar boat (not as severe) but don't let these stories that people share on here scare you....Like i said some people aren't affected bad from a solid taper. If you are curious on how to do this without a full detox, look into benzo.org.uk . This will help you understand a lot more...Best of luck. I am also there if you need to P.M. someone..
 
Thank you all for taking the time to reply to my post, it has given me so much more insight than I originally had.

I just got my prescription filled from my doctor; I am prescribed 1MG x 2 a day for panic and anxiety disorder. I have however managed to consume almost 20 tablets since Friday.

I feel out of control right now, my mum almost died last Sunday and I have been battling with those emotions, I have fractured my foot and fighting with my brother – sounds like a pity party for one but the week has been one of the worst ones ever, and I haven’t wanted to be straight. I sound like I am contradicting my first post, I guess I am overwhelmed that people took the time to reply I can speak more openly.

Tapering sounds like a good idea, perhaps the best way to do it…. I think I will go to the assessment which has been rescheduled till this Friday, and then possibly talk about tapering or outpatient care. I need something. I need a mental break. I’m burnt out.

Thanks again for your support x
 
Hey sars76.. congratulations and hang in there. I am trying to get you to a place that will be able to help you with the taper.. check out clonidine as a possible non habit forming drug to help you with the detox.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clonidine

Also while benzos cause extreme physical dependence they are not addicting, so after you are completelly past the acute withdraws you shouldn't have any compulsion to use them.. ZIf you do experience something like this it probably means you have an underlying root that profesional counselling should be able to find and address. Best of luck!
 
Because the direction of this thread is moving towards tapering plans using various drugs, I am going to move it Other Drugs.

TDS >>> OD
 
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I read the original post but skimmed through the rest of the thread, but from what I take it, based on the OP's statement about using 20mg over the last three Days, is that he is taking about 6 or 7mg of alprazolam a day.

Sars, can I ask you how long you've been taking alprazolam, and for how long you've been taking dosages like this? Depending upon the amount of time you've been using you could possibly benifit from doing an inpatient detox (if this has only been going on a few months MAX, or you might really do better with an outpatient taper plan worked out with your doctor using a benzodiazepine with a longer half life (like Valium/diazepam) if you've been taking the Xanax for over a a couple months-a couple years. I know from personal experience that when I went into detox for benzos the last time around (after about 6 months of moderate/heavy abuse-10-12mg of Xanax/day + 1-2mg of clonazepam) it was a complete failure as they tried to take me from at least 10mg of Xanax a day down to .25mg of clonazepam in 10 days, and then kept me on that dose until the day they released me. I lasted about 28 hours before my own mother gave met her clonazepam because I was shaking so terribly. With benzos I've heard the most success story's come from people who did gradual tapers with diazepam or sometimes clonazepam over a long period of time, decreasing the dosage by something like 25%(?) every two weeks or every month. Benzo withdrawal can be really dangerous and even fatal so you want to make sure that you're not trying to be too hasty when coming off these things.
 
Hey
It started using after a big night out partying, I would get a xanax block here or there and would make the come down so much more enjoyable/bearable...thats when it first started, but that wasnt an addiction then that was just coming down with a pill. I really started my benzo spiral with Valium, realising after a certain amount of time that I wanted to get something stronger I started seeking out Xanax. I went to a few dr's got prescriped with one of my many well researched stories (although I do suffer from anxiety and depression),I had a friend of a friend who would sell 2MG bottles then before I new it, I was making up stories getting more tablets, getting more bottles. I have 10 x 1 MG tablets left(prescription was filled on Friday) where I used to be able to break them in half and be fine and last atleast 3 weeks, im now eating them like lollies. This by far the worse I have ever been. Due to a fracture in my my foot im now mixing with tramadol. I am high right now. I love it, but this cant go on. I will wake up tomorrow with a fuzzy head and start the day all over again. I feel bored and restless, confused about treatment and alone.
How did I get this bad, how can addiction happen so fast and hard...before this it was party drugs, the party lifestyle...maybe its all in my DNA, addictive personality...maybe I am just a mess that has no self control.
 
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