Mental Health I'm not taking MDMA today.

[SotPoker1012]

I've gone pretty heavy on drugs the last few years and I'm trying to cut back. I've essentially caused ADHD-like symptoms to cripple me. I really struggle when I'm at home to get anything done, I'm having trouble keeping a sleep schedule, mood swings and depression. (this was pre-existing but it's gotten noticably worse as my drug use became daily)

I was taking 30+ grams of kratom a day, going through 2-3 grams of weed + usually a few dabs, various herbal drugs, psychedelics every weekend + MDMA once a month or so. It's a little much.

I've managed to cut most of that in half. After a taper and tolerance break, I've been taking 15 grams of kratom across two doses. Less on weekends. Less than a gram per day with weed and no dabs. Psychedelics every couple of weeks. I do feel a little better, though that could just be that it's easier to stay properly hydrated at my current dose of kratom. I drink an insane amount of water and still had dehydration symptoms most of the time at 30+ grams per day. I went back to smoking from vaping, as even though it's physically worse, I tend to hit my vape literally every few minutes as it can be done inside. With smoking, I'm down to one cigarette every 3 or so hours. I certainly look better. Between working graveyard shift, barely sleeping, and dehydration I had started to look ghoulish. People started asking me if I were sick, and now people say I look better.

I'm still taking MDMA every month, but I'm not going to today. Since I woke up, I've been giddy and excited. Almost like a pre-roll. I don't get this kind of childlike excitement for almost anything. The hairs on my arms are standing up from experiment. This has given me pause. I don't like that the only time I've felt this way in years is to get high.

I'm going to wait on the MDMA. It'll only be better the longer I wait, I'm finally starting to build a tolerance to it anyway.

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this.

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

Sounds like good intuition to cut down mate, nice move

 

[crazyhairman]

That sleep schedule has fucked me just as much as the drugs did. 18 years ago I was doing what you're doing . God has it really been so long... 2007 -2009 yep. You understand the party is coming to an end.
I'm not here very often anymore. Life's woes are different now , more tame , sustainable. You sound like you know what's up. Other than ginormous holes in my memory from those years, I'm fairly normal and happy .

Some of my old friends though... They didn't fare too well.
They didn't want the party to stop , legend has it they still be partying with kids 20 years younger then them.

You just gotta know when to hold em , when to fold em , when to walk away and when to run.

Don't wait too long to get it together. Have fun be safe

 

[emkee_reinvented]

That sleep schedule has fucked me just as much as the drugs did. 18 years ago I was doing what you're doing . God has it really been so long... 2007 -2009 yep. You understand the party is coming to an end.
I'm not here very often anymore. Life's woes are different now , more tame , sustainable. You sound like you know what's up. Other than ginormous holes in my memory from those years, I'm fairly normal and happy .

Some of my old friends though... They didn't fare too well.
They didn't want the party to stop , legend has it they still be partying with kids 20 years younger then them.

You just gotta know when to hold em , when to fold em , when to walk away and when to run.

Don't wait too long to get it together. Have fun be safe

As antiagingpartyfriend mention, good intuition.

Getting a normalise sleep architecture, sounds good.
Underestimate sleep never, i did 2 years so did my dr.

But sleep long enough not good/ or not is a disaster.
Took me two year s, cause was stress , insomnia until i got seizures.
Which is a long time, could have had em after 1/ 2 insomnia.
My dr underestimated the consequences of not treating it.

So i am stuck with the consequences, and they seem lifelong.
Or it heal s so slow, you don t notice it. Not taking MDMA.
Very good choice as that really has a big influence on sleep ime.

I d say solid advise, i am 50 + party day s are over.
Well not party s, but drugs and party s. Sober no problem.
Then its like a good body and mind workout, try it !