I'm not succeptable to addiction

[Lightning-Nl]

The title is a little bit of an overstatement. What I meant, however, was that I appear to be able to control my use far better than anyone else I've ever met. And I'm making this thread because - I don't think I'm succeptable to addiction.

For the past week, I've been taking double dosages of THE most addicting Benzodiazepine - Temazepam. I started taking the double dosages because I was under an insane amount of stress anti couldn't handle it. So I doubled up on my 30 milligram Temazepam dose, and took 60 milligrams for 5ish days.

Yesterday night, I stopped. Plain and simple. There was no tapering, no psychological attachment to beat, no nothing. All I did was say to myself "I can't keep taking two of these. So I'll just go back to one tonight." And then I did. It was so simple. I just decided not to keep taking that dosage. What's do odd about that is the fact thank could of never done that with Ambien.

I would call my Ambien use... abuse. Borderline addiction actually. Tolerance built up to its effects immediately and I HAD to keep bumping up the dosage. I couldn't stop myself. The drunk-like delerium that Ambien gave me was so nice... I couldn't just let that stop. It was literally like Ambien dulled reality. And that dulled reality became my way of coping with a stressful day. Eventually, I decided to bump my dose up from 10 milligrams to 20, then 30, then 40, then 50, the 60. You know how it goes. That's pretty much how every addiction starts to be honest. You just keep chasing the blissful, initial, amazing feeling.

Eventually, my Ambien supply ran dry and I had to cold turkey 60 milligrams of Ambien a day (after 3ish months of use) that was hell. My doctor was unaware of that short lived addiction, and I never told him. I just told him that Ambien was no longer a viable option for me because of the side-effects (the side-effect I was worried about was addiction). So, side I've tried every other sleep med in existence - he said "Alright, this is literally the last thing on the list... I'm going to start you on Temazepam."

I almost didn't want to. Because of the addiction issues I had with Zolpidem. But I didn't deny it, and I tried it. And I bumped my dosage up more than I should like with the Ambien, but it just decided not to take more. It sounds so weird even to myself. I should not have been able to do that - that's not how addiction works. You can just decide not take more, anymore. And yet, I did.

I'm actually really proud of myself to be honest. Especially since Temazepam has an addiction potential nearly identical to the Barbiturates. But it was like, I didn't even question it. I just said to myself "Temazepam is not something I need to be taking more of. Therefore, I will not take more, any more."

Anyways, I don't know. What's everyone else's thoughts on this?

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey swamp. I would make sure you make the distinction between physical dependence and addiction. Addiction is the inability to stop using with out feeling poorly, thats physical dependence. Addiction is a subconscious drive to use drugs. This drive is often created buy using drugs in excess to avoid an underlying inherent genetic predisposition of negative mood and emotion coupled with specific thought patterns that cause further discomfort while also increasing our addictive potential.

 

[Lightning-Nl]

Hey swamp. I would make sure you make the distinction between physical dependence and addiction. Addiction is the inability to stop using with out feeling poorly, thats physical dependence. Addiction is a subconscious drive to use drugs. This drive is often created buy using drugs in excess to avoid an underlying inherent genetic predisposition of negative mood and emotion coupled with specific thought patterns that cause further discomfort while also increasing our addictive potential.

You're right. I'm no immune to phsyical addiction. No one is. I've experienced phsyical addiction a couple times before with Hydrocodone, and Lorazepam. It's not fun. Especially when you need to take a drug, just so you want feel sicker than hell. I don't like it.

Maybe that's why I appear to have such a good grasp on my own self-control? I seem to be able to control myself (when it comes to my prescriptions) far better than most. I'm not sure why. I just hope I'm able to keep this kind of self-control my entire life.

 

[legalizeall]

so you took something for a week and you stopped and thats what makes you think your not susceptible to addiction. in the same breath your saying how strung out you got on Ambien?

well one thing i can tell you for sure is that people that arent addicts dont get strung out on anything and they keep to the prescribed dose. i wouldnt be so sure about yourself there. addiction is something to be respected and when you dont respect it or think your bigger than it, it grabs you with its sharp talons so fast, you dont even have time to say "im fucked"

maybe you just didnt like one high compared to the other high junior? could that be it? either way, a week on any substance doesnt mean anything.

 

[Lightning-Nl]

so you took something for a week and you stopped and thats what makes you think your not susceptible to addiction. in the same breath your saying how strung out you got on Ambien?

well one thing i can tell you for sure is that people that arent addicts dont get strung out on anything and they keep to the prescribed dose. i wouldnt be so sure about yourself there. addiction is something to be respected and when you dont respect it or think your bigger than it, it grabs you with its sharp talons so fast, you dont even have time to say "im fucked"

maybe you just didnt like one high compared to the other high junior? could that be it? either way, a week on any substance doesnt mean anything.

Temazepam, overall, I think is way more relaxing and 'chill' than Ambien is. If Ambien and Temazepam were weed strains, I would say that Temazepam is more of a 'body high' and is very 'stoning' where Ambien is much more of a 'head high' and has little physical effects. I think that's one of the contributing factors of why Ambien was, oddly enough, the most addictive drug I've tried (for me).

Something like Temazepam takes much more than 30 milligrams for a good head buzz; and even then, there's not much of a 'buzz' to it. It's effects on the body, however, are exactly what I need. I get way too restless at night otherwise.

Anyways, I've done this before. Stopped a substance because I knew that just taking more was just digging the hole deeper. I had a short lived Hydro addiction almost 2 years ago now. I took hydrocodone every day for around... 4 months? I got up to 50 milligrams a day, and then just decided one day - "Ya know what? If I go any higher, I'm just going to end up more addicted. I better just get the WD's overwith now, cut my losses, and just deal with it." So that's what I did. I had about 3 days worth left, so I used the rest up and cold-turkeyed the WD's.

It was awful. Most definitely. It was like having a horrible case of the stomach flu for over a month, and then a bad cold for another month after that. But it was so odd... the whole time, I never once thought to myself "I need more hydrocodone." So that's one of the reasons why I say this.

Also, I knew everything about Temazepam before I started taking it. How addicting it is, how most people say it's the most euphoric benzo. I've also read studies about how it's abuse potential outweighs that of all the other benzodiazepines and that it's abuse potential is more typical of the Barbiturates. It's also incredibly physically addicting, and very psychologically reinforcing. A temazepam habit would be a nasty one.

Now that I think about it - I think the addiction issues I had with Ambien, coupled with the fact that Temazepam is supposed to be marginally higher in terms of addiction potential... I think that scared me actually. I knew what was going to happen if I kept taking more so, just like with the hydro, I decided "You know what? I better just cut my losses and stop abusing this prescription. Because otherwise - I'm just going to develop a nasty benzo addiction."

 

[neversickanymore]

Sl----> od

 

[sekio]

This is silliness. You are not some sort of exception because you decided to stop on your own. Nor does doubling your temaz dose and getting strung out on ambien read like the actions of a responsible drug user. Or getting loaded on amphetamine to the point where you have to take antipsychotics.

I'm closing this. This is nothing more than pointless dick waving, and it is exactly the kind of stuff that gets people into bad situations.