I'm just whining...

[P58]

another week, come and gone...it's like time is losing any kind of meaning. One week follows the other follows the other follows the other...and next thing you know it's November already. Slow the fuck down!!! My youth is passing me by! And I realize that I am only 21...but at this rate I'll be 40 before I know it...and where will I be then?? So many dreams and aspirations...plans and daydreams and wants and wishes, all within my grasp. Then in the blink of an eye, four years pass...and I'm still standing on the starting square, waiting for my dice to roll at least a one to get me going. So what the fuck am I waiting for?? And what the fuck have I been doing all this time?? Infinite paths on the fork in my road, but which way do I go? What do I take with me? What do I leave behind? And you know what I think??? I think that when you are born, you should be issued an instruction manual...not really step by step instructions of sorts...kind of a worst case scenario book, only with all the scenarios, and the best course of action for each. But I suppose that wouldn't work either, because the only way you're going to learn anything in life is to jump right in and figure it out for yourself. But it's funny, all my life, I stove for my independence...for more "responsibility" for myself and my life...and now that I have it, I couldn't be bothered. I just don't want to deal with anything, you know? And I guess when it all comes down to it, it's my life to fuck up. And I'm just whining...

 

[goodnitestar]

i feel the same way, every damn day....