wiSdoMiKaL
Bluelighter
im glad im unable to hate you,
im glad i did'nt let that grow
darkly festering inside me
in ways i could not show.
im glad that my love was un-returned
and no games were played
im glad to say that im still pure
and slowly the pain will fade.
im glad i can still feel you
beside me, staring at the sun
im glad your here to help and guide me
and together we can have fun.
im glad we worked things out
and talked about all the pain.
im glad the ship sank in the tide
for this friendship i have gained.
im glad to say "i love you"
because i have just re-discovered
what it means to say those words
with no desires covered.
im glad to call you my friend
for such a beautiful person you are
i know it will last forever
and beam brightly like our stars.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
to clear things up, i dont mean Jase, i mean Jas. the sweetest friendship that grew between us became cluttered with my expectaions and desires. he was at fault when he asked me to spiritually marry him, because then what else was i to think?
but in the end, through all the months of the pain i was feeling, because i had managed to convince myself that i was un-lovable and un-desireable, i stood up and said "I DESERVE MORE THEN THIS!!!" i miss the old person i was, standing on her own two feet, knowing EXACTLY who she fucking was and not taking any bullsh*t.
and so yeah. the pain is still there, but its a pain that comes with growth. and i know so well deep within my ALL that it was the right thing to do, at the right time.
we have since become so much better off for working things out.
we broke up, but there was nothing really to break up, but because i had let things build in my mind, there was, and so they had to be broken.
oh sh*t, not sure if im making sense
hehehehe *giggles*
if you guys have ANY idea about the freedom that comes with this liberation of the heart and the relief that has consumed me.. arrghh!!
its soooo great!!
but fully, i THANK you for having a forum for these things.. it truely is beautiful that so many can share and care [insert cheesey grin here]
okies, me go now
wiKked respects and mad luv!!!
peace n beauty
xox wiSdoMiKaL
------------------
be, simply, YOU...
and love, eternally, yourself
im glad i did'nt let that grow
darkly festering inside me
in ways i could not show.
im glad that my love was un-returned
and no games were played
im glad to say that im still pure
and slowly the pain will fade.
im glad i can still feel you
beside me, staring at the sun
im glad your here to help and guide me
and together we can have fun.
im glad we worked things out
and talked about all the pain.
im glad the ship sank in the tide
for this friendship i have gained.
im glad to say "i love you"
because i have just re-discovered
what it means to say those words
with no desires covered.
im glad to call you my friend
for such a beautiful person you are
i know it will last forever
and beam brightly like our stars.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
to clear things up, i dont mean Jase, i mean Jas. the sweetest friendship that grew between us became cluttered with my expectaions and desires. he was at fault when he asked me to spiritually marry him, because then what else was i to think?
but in the end, through all the months of the pain i was feeling, because i had managed to convince myself that i was un-lovable and un-desireable, i stood up and said "I DESERVE MORE THEN THIS!!!" i miss the old person i was, standing on her own two feet, knowing EXACTLY who she fucking was and not taking any bullsh*t.
and so yeah. the pain is still there, but its a pain that comes with growth. and i know so well deep within my ALL that it was the right thing to do, at the right time.
we have since become so much better off for working things out.
we broke up, but there was nothing really to break up, but because i had let things build in my mind, there was, and so they had to be broken.
oh sh*t, not sure if im making sense
hehehehe *giggles*
if you guys have ANY idea about the freedom that comes with this liberation of the heart and the relief that has consumed me.. arrghh!!
its soooo great!!
but fully, i THANK you for having a forum for these things.. it truely is beautiful that so many can share and care [insert cheesey grin here]
okies, me go now
wiKked respects and mad luv!!!
peace n beauty
xox wiSdoMiKaL
------------------
be, simply, YOU...
and love, eternally, yourself
