I'm failing my program...

[Jamshyd]

This year I started a college program (a "post-graduate diploma") for Social Service Work. I also work all days in which I have no class. I am also fighting what seems to be a budding alcohol issue. The program is intensive - but that is the only reason I took it. It is 10-months that cover what is normally covered in 2 years... 10 months is the maximum I could take of school.

The pressure kept building until a couple of weeks ago I got a horrible flu that put me in bed for a week, and then it all came tumbling down.

I am currently late on all major assignments, and have no idea what to do. I mean I met with a coordintor yesterday and will probably meet with a guidance counselor today, but I doubt either can do much to help.

I really need this diploma to be able to work in Canada. Without it I will remain on odd-jobs with my stupid Sociology degree.

My parents are ageing. I need to support them in the future because this government won't. I don't know what to do. In fact, I think if I fail this course I might kill myself... I'm so lost...

 

[AmorRoark]

Can you speak directly with your professors and explain your situation? Is there anyway to cut back on the class-regime at this point? If it usually takes 2 years to complete then it should be reasonable to those in control (deans, professors, counselors) that the 10-month track just simply isn't do-able for a lot of people. Don't give up hope just yet.

I know how depressing the spiral of feeling lost in your academic world can be. IME the people whose job it is to oversee the students (especially the deans) want to help you... more so than you'd originally think. They don't want students to fail and will try to help you so that you succeed in trying times.

My suggestion would be to keep prodding all the avenues that are set-up to be there for you. Other than that, just do your best. Try to lay off the sauce... think about the big picture but at the same time just think of things on a day to day basis ("Ok, I'm going to finish __________ today by 3pm" or "by the end of the week I'll have done this and this in my project"). It works for me when I really need to.

You can do it jammy, I believe in you.

 

[Mariposa]

Jammy, my heart hurts to read this, but please keep in mind that there is more than one escape hatch out of every bad situation.

With regard to your budding alcohol problem -- I won't get into it too much in this thread, but have you considered joining NOvember or participating in the alcoholism thread in TDS? There is much wisdom there.

You're already doing the right thing by meeting with your counselors. I really think you are putting too much pressure on yourself at once. You already know I admire your filial piety greatly and feel similarly about my dad. Do you like the program, though? There are many routes to financial security.

Offer to do makeup work, extra credit, grading...a student who shows diligent effort and an absolute desire to succeed, especially when said student is a Capricorn (this really is old man Saturn biting you, isn't it? ) - Jammy, there is NOTHING you cannot do with a combination of effort and belief that yes, you can.

You know how to reach me if you want to talk, likewise with A - we're both having academically intense days too, but there is always time for you.

Are you working right now? How many hours? I found years ago when I was in early university that my grades shot up as my hours at work went down. Can you afford to take a reduction of working hours or find a new job that is more school-friendly?

Lastly...

Work is love made visible.

 

[Binge Artist]

"Social work", while it may be your job of choice, certainly isn't the only way to bring home the bacon. If it's breaking your soul, you might wanna bail out.

 

[justsomeguy]

"Social work", while it may be your job of choice, certainly isn't the only way to bring home the bacon. If it's breaking your soul, you might wanna bail out.

why do you post here?

 

[Riklet]

Don't give up hope mate, I don't know what kind of college, university or centre you are studying through, but they are surely used to people having their fair share of problems. Keep meeting with your tutor, and explain the situation in regards to falling behind, stress with family/alcohol/depression and whatever else. The course may well be willing to allow you special circumstances, (extensions, leniency etc) especially if you have feedback from a doctor as to your situation (although this might not be necessary). I'm sure they will be able to support you, pastoral care is very much a dimension of what they are being paid to do.

Work with them, you should retain a positive mindset that you have got this far, and fundamentally academics/teachers etc want to see you succeed, not leave disappointed. In regards to alcohol issues, those are complex but as has been said, there are a multitude of places on BL where people will try and support, advise and be there for you. Getting in touch with services in your local area might be positive too, if you accept that alcohol is an issue you want to deal with.

Stress is undoubtedly not going to help things, and whilst it's good you're worried about your parents and wish to care for them, feeling too responsible may just worsen things. There is a limit as to the number of things you can do at once. I'm sure they know you are doing your best, and will be there for them, and want to see you focusing upon yourself. Definitely sounds like a tough time, but you seem like a fantastically intelligent and well travelled person, you are fully capable of achieving this diploma, sorting things out and finding a role to satisfy you. Stay positive man, and remember those who will always be around to help and care.

Sociology degree student here btw, if that gives you any lols at all

 

[satricion]

I agree with everything posted in this thread except for what Binge Artist said (I agree with justsomeguy - why the fuck do you post in this forum Binge Artist?).

I teach at a uni. Regarding your problem, I would especially emphasise two things others have said:

Firstly, in general the people who run your course will want to help you. This is particularly the case since you are dealing with real life issues. There will be institutional and bureaucratic procedures in place to help you deal with these things. You should be able to get extensions, special consideration for class attendance, etc. You should keep all of the people who run your course in the loop about this, and be diligent with making sure you have all the right forms signed etc to get extensions. These people are there to help, and there will be things you can do to take advantage of their help. But you need to make sure you know the bureaucratic rules around this. This happens to my students all the time and as long as they have the right forms I basically let them hand their work in whenever they want. But without the forms, hands are tied. This is also why it's good to see counselors, since they can certify what kind of issues you are having, and the effects these issues are having on you, in a legitimate way that the university has to recognise. Be honest with counselors and other academic staff.

Secondly, there is only so much you can do in one day/week/year. If you are constantly on a tightrope then something like getting sick (which will inevitably happen if you are stressed and tired, and happens to everyone at some stage) will tip the balance and fuck you over completely. I disagree with Mariposa on one thing: You can not do anything you believe you can. Everyone has limits. The only solution is to cut down on what you are doing. Can you work less or do your other degree part time or something? If you don't then you risk this happening again, although if the program is nearing completion maybe it's not such an issue.

This sounds like a really hard situation, but it's not impossible to get out of. You just have to keep calm and collected, do what work you can, keep the people who run the course in the loop about what's going on in your life and jump through the bureaucratic hoops the university will make you jump through in order to get extensions etc, and things will work out. Good luck (from someone with a sociology degree).

 

[Dragynfyr]

small world bro =\ alcohol issues and a flu from hell at a terrible time. fingers crossed for us both

 

[Heuristic]

Jam,

If you fail this program:

1) you are not foreclosed forever from pursuing social work;
2) your parents will not starve, or disown you.

At worst you will be delayed from starting work as a social worker. This is certainly annoying, but it is not catastrophic. So deep breath. There's a way forward here.

Everything Satiricon said is true.

Would you like to problem-solve a little here in the thread? I think a logical way of breaking this down would be to look first at:

1. Your current situation relative to overall grades. That is, how many courses are you taking, how are final grades in those courses computed, and where do you stand in each?

2. How many hours a week do you work, and how many hours a week (realistically!) do you need to work on school? If you haven't been keeping track of how much time the schoolwork will require to do it well, then give your best estimate, and start keeping track.

Writing these two things out will be helpful not only to the rest of us in providing advice, but also to yourself, since it will organize your thoughts and make your situation explicit.

Try to make the presentation of those two aspects as crisp and clear as possible. Edit it down, make changes, etc., until it communicates the relevant data as clearly and concisely as possible. This will help along your thinking, and will focus you on the facts.

Once you do that, it will become clearer as to whether you can realistically work the hours you are AND do sufficiently well in the program. It will also become clearer as to whether it might be better to withdraw from the program this time around, and start again at the next opportunity, or whether you could push forward and still do sufficiently well.

As you go through this exercise, you'll probably experience some anxiety, and you'll want to put it off, think about something else, etc. Don't. Believe me, as you write it out, you will slowly become less anxious, because you will be getting a handle on the problem. You'll begin to see solutions.

NOTHING in this life is ever made better by avoidance, and EVERYTHING is made better by addressing the problem. Your problem here is amenable to SOME solution, and some way forward. All we need to do is find it.

 

[Vader]

I have met with tutors and guidance counselors in the past, certain that they can do nothing to help me, only to be surprised when this is not the case. People are often more understanding than you expect. I find that I often blow things out of proportion (I have an obligatory breakdown where I am totally sure I will fail my course every semester), and it might do you well to remember that the state of affairs sometimes seems worse in your head than it is in actuality.

 

[chucky1432]

So if you kill yourself how will you care for your parents then? Hopefully you were joking about that, but if you weren't, that is something to think about.

As for the whole program thing, explain to the people that matter what has occurred. If that is not enough,I'm sure someone as smart as you are (just what I get from your posts, you seem like you have your shit together), that you will bounce back from this setback in your life.

 

[Max Power]

Alcohol is closely linked to depression. Thus, a lot of the feelings you are having are skewered. If you can work hard on tackling this issue first and above all, the rest will fall into place much easier.

Don't look at this as ONE BIG PROBLEM but rather a lot of small, manageable ones. Break it down into little steps/goals that you can tackle one at a time.

Live in the moment and do the best you can RIGHT NOW.

 

[An Iz]

Jamyshd, from the energy and perspective I see you post with, I can't help but feel that things will work out for you in the end even if your life changes course from the way you expect it to go regarding this stint of education. Good luck.

 

[Simon63]

This year I started a college program (a "post-graduate diploma") for Social Service Work. I also work all days in which I have no class. I am also fighting what seems to be a budding alcohol issue. The program is intensive - but that is the only reason I took it. It is 10-months that cover what is normally covered in 2 years... 10 months is the maximum I could take of school.

The pressure kept building until a couple of weeks ago I got a horrible flu that put me in bed for a week, and then it all came tumbling down.

I am currently late on all major assignments, and have no idea what to do. I mean I met with a coordintor yesterday and will probably meet with a guidance counselor today, but I doubt either can do much to help.




I really need this diploma to be able to work in Canada. Without it I will remain on odd-jobs with my stupid Sociology degree.

My parents are ageing. I need to support them in the future because this government won't. I don't know what to do. In fact, I think if I fail this course I might kill myself... I'm so lost...

Mate, whats the update i've been reading all these threads and there's been some sound advice. I know where you coming from as i've been to a similar place studied Gestalt therapy for four years and then on to Med school for two, i forget how many times i asked myself "what on earth am i doing all this for" believe me it's worth the hard word, believe me it is, you take now.

 

[Jamshyd]

Hello guys, wow.. I didn't expect such caring responses.

To update, about two weeks ago I was hospitalized for intenal bleeding, blamed at least partly on alcohol. Ever since then (almost exactly 2 weeks now), I have not touched a drink.

That said, the days spent in hospital and at home afterwards were pretty much the final bullet to get me off track on all my courses.

It is interesting that many people here say that I'd be surprised to know that there are many people who want to help me pass. Thus far, I had only found two, who have really no influence beyond their own courses. The people in charge are clearly business people, not social workers. It is in their best interest to keep me in school for as long as possible. In fact, if these supposed social workers are anything to go by, I really do NOT want to work in this field, because these people have clearly had their hearts dissolved away.

I will answer huristic questions, which I think in turn answers a lot of others'.

1. Your current situation relative to overall grades. That is, how many courses are you taking, how are final grades in those courses computed, and where do you stand in each?

Overall grades: have been different in different courses, thus my overall average is barely 50%. . Furthermore, two of these courses require a 60% average from gruduation, one of which has a heartless teacher (ironically teaching me about empathy!) who is hell-bent on failing me because of my "lack of professionalism". He also lost all respect from me when he claimed the 2nd exam was about application yet maked us on the ability to detect inaccuracies in his question and word-play.

2. How many hours a week do you work, and how many hours a week (realistically!) do you need to work on school? If you haven't been keeping track of how much time the schoolwork will require to do it well, then give your best estimate, and start keeping track

Writing these two things out will be helpful not only to the rest of us in providing advice, but also to yourself, since it will organize your thoughts and make your situation explicit..

I work 32h/week, and that is not enough. I get help from my parents too. I do not know how much time I need for schoolwork - this is one of my weaknesses, time management. In the first half of this semester, I spent less than 10 hours the whole semester, and that was just doing assignments. I still couldn't afford most of the books at the time. And yet, I passed all my tests.

Try to make the presentation of those two aspects as crisp and clear as possible. Edit it down, make changes, etc., until it communicates the relevant data as clearly and concisely as possible. This will help along your thinking, and will focus you on the facts.

Once you do that, it will become clearer as to whether you can realistically work the hours you are AND do sufficiently well in the program. It will also become clearer as to whether it might be better to withdraw from the program this time around, and start again at the next opportunity, or whether you could push forward and still do sufficiently well.

Although I do not know about the hours needed, I know now that, without the alcohol, I can (could have) realistically squeezed in all the work required.

NOTHING in this life is ever made better by avoidance, and EVERYTHING is made better by addressing the problem. Your problem here is amenable to SOME solution, and some way forward. All we need to do is find it.

It seems to me now, that I'd been sober for 2 weeks, that although I could put a lot of work into it, it may still not work because of the bias of one professor who is given too much power.

Oh yes, I talked to him. He is about as useful in conversation as a legal document, because, like I said above, he is a businessman first, and everything else later.

At this point I am almost 100% certain I will not make it. But I'm thinking of doing all the work nontheless to obtain some transferable credits should I ever decide to pursue this later...

Thanks for your help everyone. I really do appreciate it .

 

[ebola?]

[QUOTE='shyd]
It is interesting that many people here say that I'd be surprised to know that there are many people who want to help me pass. Thus far, I had only found two, who have really no influence beyond their own courses.[/QUOTE]

Fuck...and I thought that most of my faculty were pricks.

The people in charge are clearly business people, not social workers. It is in their best interest to keep me in school for as long as possible.

Dayum. Usually this is reserved for administrators, not faculty too.
...
It's a shame that they're turning their backs on genius and interpersonal talent...

ebola

 

[Jamshyd]

^ You flatter me .

In case anyone is interested, an update: after a lot of delieratio, that one prof still failed me, and so I failed the program. I am majorly deppressed at the moment but didn't recourse to alcohol. However, I'm back on the codeine horse.

 

[Dr. Funkenstien]

swapping methods of altered conscious? dangerous game there buddy. do what you know is right but dont let its codiene slicked teeth sink too deep in ya. walk forward and keep your chin up, everything will be alright. best of luck to you.