*** copied from BL journal ***
Well, I shot up a pill that I thought was Kadian (it turned out to be some kind of vitamin). I popped 4 hydrocodones and 2 ativans.
I'm moving to Philly tomorrow but I plan on pawning a watch and a surround sound system and copping H before hand. I no longer care about physical risks (including death) as long as I get a good rush before I die nothing else matters.
I used to be stable but now I'm an unbalanced, erratic selfish piece of shit.
Its odd though, I LOVED the NA meetings where I'm moving to. The people were so amazing and real. Shit, I'm misty just thinking about Trina, James, Eric, Henry, Opal and all those ones I can't remember their names. They are such GOOD people. I want to see them again but I'm not ready to quit using. I'd give everything I have just to get a hug from one of them.
I went to an NA meeting in the area I'm at now and didn't even get a hug. Thats all I really wanted was a hug from someone who understands. Fuck, some sort of nonsexual physical contact would be wonderful (even just a hand on the shoulder)
Why am I so needy? I know I'm alone because of the drugs but everything seems so empty and pointless. Nothing interests me besides drugs.
I guess these are all signs of the end. My poor dog is doing to be so confused. I'm bailing on my only friend. I'm a fuckin asshole
Well, I shot up a pill that I thought was Kadian (it turned out to be some kind of vitamin). I popped 4 hydrocodones and 2 ativans.
I'm moving to Philly tomorrow but I plan on pawning a watch and a surround sound system and copping H before hand. I no longer care about physical risks (including death) as long as I get a good rush before I die nothing else matters.
I used to be stable but now I'm an unbalanced, erratic selfish piece of shit.
Its odd though, I LOVED the NA meetings where I'm moving to. The people were so amazing and real. Shit, I'm misty just thinking about Trina, James, Eric, Henry, Opal and all those ones I can't remember their names. They are such GOOD people. I want to see them again but I'm not ready to quit using. I'd give everything I have just to get a hug from one of them.
I went to an NA meeting in the area I'm at now and didn't even get a hug. Thats all I really wanted was a hug from someone who understands. Fuck, some sort of nonsexual physical contact would be wonderful (even just a hand on the shoulder)
Why am I so needy? I know I'm alone because of the drugs but everything seems so empty and pointless. Nothing interests me besides drugs.
I guess these are all signs of the end. My poor dog is doing to be so confused. I'm bailing on my only friend. I'm a fuckin asshole