Stringer_Bell
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2015
- Messages
- 196
So after a four day binge on Oxy, Coke and Xanax I'm done with drugs. I can't tell you how bad I feel. I don't know if it's withdrawals from the Oxy, the coke comedown or something else but I feel like I'm being tortured, it's that bad.
I've been here before and sworn I'll never use again and each time the same thing happens. I recover, then after a couple of weeks forget how bad I felt and tell myself I can use again but will use less so that I get the good effects without feeling suicidal afterwards. I now know that's impossible.
I'm only visiting Sober Living on this forum from now and am going to post here as a journal to keep track of my progress. I'm living out of my home country and don't speak the language here so it's going to be very hard to find support here but I might try to find some therapists who do Skype sessions. I don't know if there is any other kind of online support you guys could recommend (other than this forum of course)?
I really hope that if I break my promise and do relapse again then I die in the process. I never, ever want to go through this again, it's unbearable. I have to work tomorrow and am panicking at the thought of it.
I was in such good shape before this binge, running every day and super fit, now I'm finding it hard to walk short distances. I'm disgusted by what I have done to myself.
I've been here before and sworn I'll never use again and each time the same thing happens. I recover, then after a couple of weeks forget how bad I felt and tell myself I can use again but will use less so that I get the good effects without feeling suicidal afterwards. I now know that's impossible.
I'm only visiting Sober Living on this forum from now and am going to post here as a journal to keep track of my progress. I'm living out of my home country and don't speak the language here so it's going to be very hard to find support here but I might try to find some therapists who do Skype sessions. I don't know if there is any other kind of online support you guys could recommend (other than this forum of course)?
I really hope that if I break my promise and do relapse again then I die in the process. I never, ever want to go through this again, it's unbearable. I have to work tomorrow and am panicking at the thought of it.
I was in such good shape before this binge, running every day and super fit, now I'm finding it hard to walk short distances. I'm disgusted by what I have done to myself.