Positive I'm back...I guess.

[Hexenstahl]

Hi I'm back guys. Can't really say much except that a few months after I departed from BL I fell into a coma due to a stroke (not drug related). I woke up a few months after and since then recovered from it somewhat. I am amnestic to a huge part of my life and have a somewhat different personality according to family members (somewhat taciturn or maybe just dysarthria?) but I'm doing well. I am slowly remembering things but it's taking time and effort. Have fortunately not forgotten my hobbies and scientific interests and skills but can't remember my childhood vacations to Florida which is sad because I know that I enjoyed my time there a lot and the people there were always very kind and open. Must be a cultural thing. Maybe looking at old photos will help me remember.

Still struggle with avolition though. The stroke has done a few weird things to me: when waking up I was able to halve my Levomethadone dose from 9ml to 5ml in an instant and I have taken a strong interest in DMT experiences. I used to hate all things related to psychedelics but I feel a very strong pull towards DMT now. Have vaped it a few times and the experiences are both enlightening and confusing. I feel like it has helped me in remembering. I am a pantheist now.

I am still struggling to get access to my gmail account guys, so to anyone who has not been getting a reply from me: I have not been ignoring you. I am sorry if I have caused you pain. It was not my intention. I'm sure some friends thought I probably died but here I am. Alive and well. I have sent google my ID docs for validation so I should be getting access to my account soon.

P.S.: I won't be active much since I actually don't like (anti)social media much, but I will take care of the ULDN thread that I started back in the day and answer people's questions if they have some.

Hmmm, I think that is all I wanted to say for now. Oh and pls don't be mad at me when I don't immediately recognize who you are. I have forgotten some people...even friends. I'm deeply sorry.

 

[Psychonautical]

So, when i was in the same position as you. I'd been hit by a minivan. My Ex Girlfriend, was Russian. While i was basically in acoma, she had ordered Noopept from Russia. This is going waaaay back to like 2005.
So when she would be there with me in the hospital, with doctors saying i could come out of it but not have all my faculties because of how severe the head injury was. She was feeding me what she remembered hearing about which was that Noopept, the Russian Racetam was being given to babies who were born with fetal alcohol syndrome to help synaptic growth and to people who had suffered from strokes, hemorrhages, ischemic strokes ect. Doctors in canada hadn't heard of it they even went so far as to joke if their was a drug that could fix brain damage the world be smarter. Ultimately without their approval once i was more awake and aware she would give me two pills a day. i got better very very quickly. Recently my 80 year old father had a stroke, and Canada has enacted these psychotic laws where, if it isn't an approved medicine by the government which also goes into herbal medicines, it cannot be imported. My Mother called the day my dad had the stroke, telling me i would have to move home, because the doctors thought he wasn't going to make it. I acted so quickly, i found a company who was willing to ship it to me, despite the customs risk and magically some how a bottle made it through alongside some L-dopa because after a stroke, usually you're CNS is a bit fried so the L-dopa helps with smooth muscle movements and contractions. So my father as an 80 year old man who the doctors here said was going to be a potato who shits himself until he dies. Already has his license back, he's had the car up on the hoist putting on new tires and break pads, he's rebuilt the law mower, and he's also been more sexually active with my Mother. So, needless to say, That Soviet branded brain medication which you can buy in any pharmacy there, Has effifacy. So how does this tie into dmt... well once i was better my girlfriend, Celeste at the time, we taught each other how to extract dmt together, which then turned into an Seven Year Tango flirting with awe inspiring mysticism travelling the world and going to music festival after music festival and distributing the codex of infinity to people. After my "death" i wanted to know if it was truly similar to the void of death minus the trauma. In truth, No it isn't. Datura is alot closer. But DMT It's something, ultimately DMT is Chaos Magick. It is Crowleys Magick without Tears. It is breaking the veil of existence and time. It can quite literally give you anything you want if you manipulate or exchange within the manifolds of that conduit pieces you don't even know you're giving away. But tread that water carefully because they are dark, rich deep and very ornately colored. If you truly want to heal your brain after what you've experienced look into Noopept. I'll post a few links, but i can tell you as a person who was in acoma due to severe brain injury only now, howevery many years later, was quite literally able to give my father second life with it. I told my mother, whatever the doctors tell you don';t listen to them just fucking give him these every day you go and see him. I gotta say, if i had karma coins with the universe i cashed out a few to get them here, to magically some how have the powers that be turn their eyes inward instead of into my packages.

Anyways, welcome to my ted talk,
i'll give ya a few links to follow up, remember im not a doctor, im just a human, like you
but this is my experience.

N-Phenylacetyl-L-prolylglycine ethyl ester - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22500312/

 

[someguyontheinternet]

welcome back! I'm sorry to hear about your stroke, that must be really difficult to deal with

honestly its a big fear of mine, I see others tall about strokes pretty nonchalantly but it can be so damaging to ones' sense of self and independence

I'm not up to date with the forefront of stroke research but inspiring synapto- and neurogenesis the circuits can be rerouted and repaired. this usually happens pretty naturally over time but I do wonder if there has been research on neurogenesis from serotonergics whether psychedelics or SSRIs has an impact on stroke recovery


I'm glad to hear you're recovering well, I hope you can regain some of those precious memories ❤

 

[Hexenstahl]

i was in the same position as you. I'd been hit by a minivan.

My stroke was accident related too.

who the doctors here said was going to be a potato who shits himself until he dies

I avoid these disguised drug dealers in white coats like the devil does the holy water. They don't even call you patient anymore here. You're just a client lol. How many times have doctors told me that XYZ is gonna happen and nothing happened? They are so clueless. When I was about to be released from hospital care the doc wanted to prescribe a whole bunch of medication, I said thanks but no thanks, went the hell outta there, got myself a shitton of chlorella pyrenoidosa, RSO, borax, mullein and a whole bunch of other plant medicine that I have been taking since ages and except for my memory I have recovered 90% of my physical health. Opioids and colloidal gold for my mental health (the only antidepressants that work) and I'm good.
I haven't been visiting a doctor since I'm 19 (I'm 35 now) and I'm doing great. This includes the dentist btw! When I stopped going to the dentist and instead made my own tooth paste by using nothing but turmeric and mint oil, I started noticing that it is actually the dentist who is slowly but surely destroying people's dental health with all that toxic shit they put into your mouth. The gums absorb it and it starts to eventually affect you systemically, causing all sorts of diseases, especially heart diseases.

There is a 3000 page german book called "codex humanus" that gives natural medicines for literally almost all known diseases. I wish it was available in english because I'd scan and share it here if that was the case. The drug charts alone are invaluable. The book is full of it. This book is where I get all of the information on what to take when I have something. The author (who used to be a doctor himself) compiled information from ancient to modern medicinal sources and ended up with this huge tome of knowledge. He probably went through hundreds of books and manuscripts.

So yeah, whenever doctors tell you "you only got..." or if they are trying to prescribe you their usual quackery just turn around and leave. They can circle-jerk with their PhDs for all I care, I just know they are wrong by my own practical experiences. Watch "Fight the cure" if you wanna know just how far the sickcare system's corruption goes.

It's interesting you mention russian compounds, because I have been experimenting with Bromantane for a while and it's this weird but awesome non-cns stimulant that really boosts your mental clarity, focus and even creativity without actually draining you. It gained attention when russian doctors noticed that it stimulates mentally while not only not producing anxiety, but it actually is anxiolytic! Some people report a cocaine-like confidence boost that lasts for days but I haven't noticed anything of that sorts. Would be awesome lol.

The Pharmacology of Actoprotectors: Practical Application for Improvement of Mental and Physical Performance - PMC

Actoprotectors are preparations that enhance body stability against physical loads without increasing oxygen consumption or heat production. Or, in short, actoprotectors are synthetic adaptogens with a significant capacity to improve physical ...

pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

"Bromantane is characterized by the almost full absence of side effects including manifestations of withdrawal syndrome and hyperstimulation."

 

[Hexenstahl]

Oh I just remembered that Nurse Ratched died before I left Bluelight
She was the good spirit of this forum...

 

[kiely]

Aw I'm so glad that you made it. That's strength.