Ok ive posted before. Im on day 31. I quit cold turkey from methodone over 100 mg and i feel proud i made it to 30 days. Im depressed but getting better now that im allowed to see my son again. My exs mom knows my struggles with a 20 year opiate addiction and methamphetamine addiction. I failed rehab 3 times over the years but this time is different. I have a son that i dont want his memories to be dad was always on drugs and neglected me and we were homeless like my childhood was. I want him to be proud of me so failure isnt an option. I can sleep again,eat again, and my emotions came back which i could deal without. These chills and sneezing will not go away though. There driving me crazy. Anyone have this same issue? How do i help the chills and sneezing uncontrollably? Its driving me crazy and this fatigue sucks to
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im back again day 31 from 105 mg methodone cold turkey
- Thread starter ozzmosis
- Start date
30+ days is great. Congratulations! Clonidine would probably deal with the chills but since you are that far out I think they are going to sort themselves soon. Just start doing some sort of exercise, any kind, to speed it up.
You are familiar with PAWS and the possibility that you may experience fatigue etc. for a few months?
You are familiar with PAWS and the possibility that you may experience fatigue etc. for a few months?
MissBehavin'_416
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2002
- Messages
- 6,784
I have cold sweats every day.
I wish I could tell you how long my methadone w/ds lasted, but as soon as I ran out of my last bottle, I was so panicked at being discharged from pain mgt and the thought of NEVER getting another methadone script, I waited 3 days for the meth half life to end, and begun using H about every day, this was back in late Sept, so I kind of avoided the methadone w/ds, except for a few half days here and there, inbetween copping dope.
I do remember having really bad drug dreams when in methadone w/ds prior though, and they were VERY bad and intense, and always seemed to involve me either finding a bunch of methadone pills, or somehow getting a whole alot at once, BUT could never use them...God that sucked so bad, in these dreams, I had the fucking pills, but for one reason or another, I could never take one single pill! LOL Its like even though I had managed to get to sleep, my fucking brain made sure I still suffered as much as possible!!
I was at the point many times, I was fucking pissed at God (or whatever created us) for even creating my brains receptors like this... I mean, just because someone stops using a certain medicine, my brains receptors made sure I suffered in almost every possible way, and for as long as possible too...WTF? Plus, I got sick of having people tell me "its good you got off that shit and every day you go without using will get easier and easier", I felt like screaming at them, NO, each day does not get easier, it actually gets worse and worse, the longer you go without using! lol
Thats the other thing too, If each day DID actually get better and better, that would be one thing, but when each day gets worse and worse and w/ds get progressively worse the longer you go without the drug, how the fuck is anyone supposed to get and stay clean?!
besides the drug dreams, going from freezing cold to sweating every other minute, general nasty feeling, I would basically feel like never even getting out of bed, every bone ached, headache, it was a real job to just put clean clothes on and tie my shoes, even getting a shower was tough, since I felt so shitty and in pain, I would lay in bed, and try to sleep, but if I did sleep, it was for 30 minutes or less, and it felt horrible to wake up from one of these naps, and the first thought was..OH FUCK, Im never going to have methadone again!
I would get out of bed, sit in a chair and try to watch tv, but after 5 minutes, I would feel like laying in bed again, then after laying down, 3 minutes later, I couldnt stand laying there anymore and would want to get up again, then after 3 min, I would feel like laying down again, and over and over again! Since sleep was rare, my body made fucking sure I suffered as much and for as long as possible!
Even though I now use H every day, and not methadone anymore, the basic opiate addiction is still the same, just different drug of choice, but now, I have to make sure I come up with enough money for dope every other day or more, while H w/ds are not as bad as methadone, alot of it is the same, insomnia, RLS, general nasty feeling, etc...I still feel like Id rather be dead than go on living like this, fucking sucks, Every day, I wish a fucking semi truck would plow my car and end this shit for good LOL
Im glad to hear you have went this long, I would like to hear how long before you start feeling somewhat normal too.When I had the sneezing fits, I would end up sneezing like 5-8 times in a row! Good luck and congrats on such a long time clean! Nice to know someone is succeeding!
I do remember having really bad drug dreams when in methadone w/ds prior though, and they were VERY bad and intense, and always seemed to involve me either finding a bunch of methadone pills, or somehow getting a whole alot at once, BUT could never use them...God that sucked so bad, in these dreams, I had the fucking pills, but for one reason or another, I could never take one single pill! LOL Its like even though I had managed to get to sleep, my fucking brain made sure I still suffered as much as possible!!
I was at the point many times, I was fucking pissed at God (or whatever created us) for even creating my brains receptors like this... I mean, just because someone stops using a certain medicine, my brains receptors made sure I suffered in almost every possible way, and for as long as possible too...WTF? Plus, I got sick of having people tell me "its good you got off that shit and every day you go without using will get easier and easier", I felt like screaming at them, NO, each day does not get easier, it actually gets worse and worse, the longer you go without using! lol
Thats the other thing too, If each day DID actually get better and better, that would be one thing, but when each day gets worse and worse and w/ds get progressively worse the longer you go without the drug, how the fuck is anyone supposed to get and stay clean?!
besides the drug dreams, going from freezing cold to sweating every other minute, general nasty feeling, I would basically feel like never even getting out of bed, every bone ached, headache, it was a real job to just put clean clothes on and tie my shoes, even getting a shower was tough, since I felt so shitty and in pain, I would lay in bed, and try to sleep, but if I did sleep, it was for 30 minutes or less, and it felt horrible to wake up from one of these naps, and the first thought was..OH FUCK, Im never going to have methadone again!
I would get out of bed, sit in a chair and try to watch tv, but after 5 minutes, I would feel like laying in bed again, then after laying down, 3 minutes later, I couldnt stand laying there anymore and would want to get up again, then after 3 min, I would feel like laying down again, and over and over again! Since sleep was rare, my body made fucking sure I suffered as much and for as long as possible!
Even though I now use H every day, and not methadone anymore, the basic opiate addiction is still the same, just different drug of choice, but now, I have to make sure I come up with enough money for dope every other day or more, while H w/ds are not as bad as methadone, alot of it is the same, insomnia, RLS, general nasty feeling, etc...I still feel like Id rather be dead than go on living like this, fucking sucks, Every day, I wish a fucking semi truck would plow my car and end this shit for good LOL
Im glad to hear you have went this long, I would like to hear how long before you start feeling somewhat normal too.When I had the sneezing fits, I would end up sneezing like 5-8 times in a row! Good luck and congrats on such a long time clean! Nice to know someone is succeeding!
I didnt start feeling any better at all till day 22. The laying down getting up down up down chills sneezing diarrhea vomiting rls chills sweats with three sweaters on you know the fun stuff lol. I still got bad chis and sneezing oh my god. Noone around me ever had a bad addiction like me. Id love to see them go through what i did well not really but before you judge someone walk one day in there shoes ya know. H is shorter acting, i used it a few times but my oc was my baby. Your withdraws off of H would come faster and harder cause methodone likes to torture you nice and slow like a sadistic pervert. Im on day 32 and its a fight everyday still but im so ready for 60 days. One person said day 70 they were over it all. It gives me hope. Im sick of this addiction but its apart of us now. We have to learn to live without the drug in us. Its our salvation, our coping mechanism, our orgasm, our everything. I need help. Im a sick puppy
It seems to vary a lot, the recovery time from methadone. High dose, low dose, cold turkey or not, it still varies lot.
All you really know that you are one day closer, each day. thats all. You cannot turn back anymore as you might be almost there. Even if you are unlucky you are still far. Just keep going.
All you really know that you are one day closer, each day. thats all. You cannot turn back anymore as you might be almost there. Even if you are unlucky you are still far. Just keep going.
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
Ozzmosis, what an accomplishment! I know how hard it must be to stick with it when you feel so physically miserable. Sounds like your mind is where it needs to be and now you just need to wait for your body to get there.
I can relate about the body temperature hell. My husband has cancer which gives him night sweats and chills and I'm menopausal with the same symptoms. Our poor thermostat is fairly worn out between the two of us pushing the up and down buttons. Sometimes you just have to laugh.8(
I can relate about the body temperature hell. My husband has cancer which gives him night sweats and chills and I'm menopausal with the same symptoms. Our poor thermostat is fairly worn out between the two of us pushing the up and down buttons. Sometimes you just have to laugh.8(
bdomihizayka
Bluelighter
I'm cheering for you dude. Congrats and a job well fucking done. I'm bitching and moaning over here about a bit of residual sub withdrawal when I should be thankful it wasn't a full blown ordeal lasting weeks.
I can say that you will be getting better and better as the days roll by. Your endorphins will start going back to some sort of "normalcy" and you will find great joy in the simple things in life once again. That was always the hgardest part of withdrawal for me- the apathy/ depression. And you can bet your ass your endorphins aren't anywheres near normal if you're still feeling some withdrawal. Another month or two and you'll be feelings amazing.
Keep it up man. We can both do this!
I can say that you will be getting better and better as the days roll by. Your endorphins will start going back to some sort of "normalcy" and you will find great joy in the simple things in life once again. That was always the hgardest part of withdrawal for me- the apathy/ depression. And you can bet your ass your endorphins aren't anywheres near normal if you're still feeling some withdrawal. Another month or two and you'll be feelings amazing.
Keep it up man. We can both do this!
Your right. January 28 will make two months. Day 34 now. Why would i relapse and go through this hell again. I woke up and said go ahead withdraws torture me but when your gone its done forever. So many people on here are fighting or living for a normal clean sober life but when you feel bad its so hard to smile
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
Yeah, but that is the right attitude, ozz. You can get through anything when you know it is temporary. So focusing on making sure that it is a temporary hell not to be repeated builds strength that will carry you beyond the WDs and help with PAWS. No need to smile when you don't feel like it. I read this study once that said that the same endorphins are released in the brain when the corners of a mouth turn up from gritting a pencil between the teeth or from a grimace as are released from actual happy smiling. ![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")