illusions believed

[colicolo]

waiting at the airport
holding a sign that says 'TROUBLE'
starting this ship at the terminal
was the sign we both missed

you said you knew about all those things that were me
the times i failed and illusions i belived
but still it did not change your heart
and if it did you never let it show
cause my heart wilted underneath the sun
i had lost everything when i meet you
and the times alone i thought for you
i fought for you
those were the burning days

i feel i wasted all that energy
ashamed i fooled myself into falling for you

i sat side of stage watching missy pouring out her heart
and when you called to tell me about him
she played ten days, you had played so much more
you couldnt see just how far i'd gotten
when you left me behind, i took stride

twisting the smallest hopes to all my fears
i knew better then to fall, for you
you were afraid of too much hope
would rescue you from attention
leaving you stranded in the beauty
the beauty that took me so long to find

you had the luxury of seeing it all laid out
while me and others we had to fight for us
we had to stick up for each other
fighting for the ones who felt ashamed
stuck there fingers down their throat
families torn apart and they were blamed

the ones the system had let down
misunderstood and missed out
failed by and failing far beyond expectation
it takes heart not scientific explanation

you can't put a price on these people
when they've coped all of societies blows
its more then SSRIs 3 times a day
when you cant help dont bother to diagnose

these people who needed help
you stole the resources they needed
and all i needed from you was respect
for who i am inside when your out
what i do and who i care for
and times like me crying now

and it doesn't answer your question
and it doesnt matter anymore
you matter to me and always will
but the difference is i dont know
if i respect you
if i care for you
anymore

 

[(Wordy)]

I remember saying this about the last poem of yours that I commented on, but it sounds like a new voice is breaking through... especially the first 4 stanzas here. There's a sense of character and place, a sense of speaking that gets under my skin (in a good way).

i had lost everything when i meet you
and the times alone i thought for you
i fought for you
those were the burning days

i sat side of stage watching missy pouring out her heart
and when you called to tell me about him
she played ten days, you had played so much more
you couldnt see just how far i'd gotten
when you left me behind, i took stride

Keep up the good work!

 

[E-girl]

i feel i wasted all that energy
ashamed i fooled myself into falling for you

i think part of life is feeling this at some point. you look back at something that didn't work out, and you feel like you wasted all that time and energy... for me, it was 5 years of my life with someone i was sure i would marry. someone who took everything he could from me and then left. how many times do i look back and say, why did I waste my time? yet part of me would do it all again in a heartbeat.

i'm not usually one for cliches, but i DO believe that everything happens for a reason. even the bad moments led you to this moment, and to the next GREAT moment, and it couldn't have been any other way. There's no point in looking back and feeling you wasted anything.

"What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now." ~Author Unknown