I'll make it simple, who want to talk about suicide, let me explain...

[bliz62]

See you even have friends iin multiple countries that care!
Oh dude, yeah, no homeless shelter. I for one did not mean to make your family out to be monsters (not that you were speakign to me personally) but I was truly hoping there was another situation.
You are much stronger than you think; stay strong my friend. PM me if you ever want to talk, feel down, etc.

 

[painenduser]

Thanks Bliz, I knew what you meant re: my family. I appreciate your comments and your offer to me as a friend, it means a lot to me. It's really nice when people in similar situation like this can come together to over come no matter what is in our paths. It's amazing how strong the bonds are between recovering addicts as well as people with like mental situations. If we were not able to come together for each other we would all be very lonely, but as I see it, we are much stronger people then we are given credit. We have nothing to prove to anyone but ourselves and when we stick together we can appreciate life better. In some ways I think we are the stronger populous because of what we can and do over come vs. the normal every day 'joe schmo'. We see life differently and in ways that no one else can, should, or will. I'm not disrespecting anyone, but I feel that with all the crap that life throws at us we eventually learn to over come be it alone or together and the life's lessons we take on, only make us grow stronger. I fully intend to add you as my friend on here, and the same goes for you. If you ever need anything, someone to talk to or to bounce something off of I am here for you.

Peace bud!!

Pain

 

[panic in paradise]

Quite poetic It'd given me a different out look on life and the things that are occurring in it. The one thing that I can not over come though is the resentments of which have grown stronger since I have done everything asked of me to remain sober and keep my promises, but yet they have done nothing to show that they give a damn that I have done said things. I suppose I just need to say "F" them and live my life for me, and only for me, and not worry about meeting anyone's expectations but my own. Of course it will be difficult and I will struggle as I will want the satisfaction that my family is proud of what I have been able to do and over come, after all it's a natural feeling to want the love and respect from ones own family. I guess it's time for me to find a new family :D

well thats what i live for


are you familiar with the Hungry Ghost theory, from the Tibetan Book of the Dead?
Question eheverything.


________
life love and laughter

 

[painenduser]

well thats what i live for

Which part? The living for one's self part? There was a lot I said in that little paragraph

are you familiar with the Hungry Ghost theory, from the Tibetan Book of the Dead?
Question eheverything.

No, I am sorry to say that I am not familiar with that at all, especially if it's from a book, I despise books lol care to elaborate?

 

[panic in paradise]

Which part? The living for one's self part? There was a lot I said in that little paragraph

hehe no, the changing my out look on life part.

are you familiar with the Hungry Ghost theory, from the Tibetan Book of the Dead?
Question eheverything.

never-mind that, could come across to literal.bad suggestion.lol
:-x


______
what i am suggesting is to see how they are in their own shock and pain, to help them, and this will eventually break off the circumstantial-depression that must exist for everyone involved...over time, with you as you are, continuing to try for them they will notice eventually. and for w/e reason even if they did not, you will of been doing a lot of good for yourself psychologically and psychically.
(much more then not giving yourself even more of a chance)

this sort of motivation is whats saves and changes the out-look on lives, ime.

 

[painenduser]

hehe no, the changing my out look on life part.


never-mind that, could come across to literal.bad suggestion.lol
:-x


______
what i am suggesting is to see how they are in their own shock and pain, to help them, and this will eventually break off the circumstantial-depression that must exist for everyone involved...over time, with you as you are, continuing to try for them they will notice eventually. and for w/e reason even if they did not, you will of been doing a lot of good for yourself psychologically and psychically.
(much more then not giving yourself even more of a chance)

this sort of motivation is whats saves and changes the out-look on lives, ime.

Understood and you are correct. Even if not for them, then for myself will do a lot of good for me. I need the psychological and physical break, and I should not allow my life to be affected by their negativity. I have a lot to offer others even if the people in my primary circle do not appreciate me and what I can offer there are far more including myself that benefit from my existence. I think thats the best way to put it.

 

[panic in paradise]

Understood and you are correct. Even if not for them, then for myself will do a lot of good for me. I need the psychological and physical break, and I should not allow my life to be affected by their negativity. I have a lot to offer others even if the people in my primary circle do not appreciate me and what I can offer there are far more including myself that benefit from my existence. I think thats the best way to put it.

indeed - the way you put it, is the only way it will be/stay put.

i am very happy you see what i mean.! and i will see you with the same theory, applied to setting goals -in allegorical form which i ask of you to bare with a moment(?)-. cough*OKey here we go

shoot for the Sun and you just might get another Star, or maybe only a Mountain Top...any of these will be better the the valleys and hills we have set here for us...as glorious as they are, as glorious as you are and you family is, life does go on
always.


allow your family members each to find their own course, they arent used to this sort of thing. and now here it is for them and they love you - this hurts them, i dont wish to assure you of that, and maybe you wish not to assure yourself the same(is understandable), why deny love.?

because it fucking hurts too.


but its different, the pain it heals, it heals more then you can imagine it heals what is your flesh.



do not drift Sailor when you can guide it all to the Moon.
it is your right man





ps maybe try some yoga, i swear, its great.!
lol



___________________
i really hope you do not still assume i mean that you leave your family,
because that was not the intention of any of my messages.


i am suggesting you see it from their point-of-view, and while doing so allow yourself to sort out, they will too, this is the only way for them.

please dont leave and then burn the bridges you have, which sounds to me like what you do wish to fight for, if anything now, not to be a-drift again...you have a chance and a choice that will benefit everyone to make. and that is one with your family.