A bit excessive, or?
Afraid I might be losing my sense of judegement as I've had a (HOT) Pakistani BF (more like a dark-coloured, Northern European look, you know, that beautiful Indian, type) who adores my fair skin/blond hair/blue-eyes looks and anythig that reminds him of it. He brings it up, or anything relatd to it, many times in a day, so it's obviously a source of delight (I don't mind and rather view it as a simple pleasure). Don't really get it, but they're all the same, unless they've grown up here.
Guess to do with growing up in a country where it's non-existant, as opposed to growing up in say, the US or UK, where it's just another form of human being.
So today he asked me to mail him some pic, I couldn't decide which ones as I'd been gathering uo some good ones for him lately, so I just sent him all my favourites and he just replied "How lovely you are, my girl" "Fantastic pictures", "Love them all", "You're the best", etc.
Is this normal or how a Northern European guy would react, or is he just ecstatic he's had one of his fantasies come true (Nordic girlfriend, with blond hair, blue eyes). He also had an English GF for two years but she didn't seem quite upto his standards (To paraphrase him "He never went down on herbecause she stunk and never bothered to wash (Good attitude by the way, why should he bother, when she can't even make the effort?" (Was a non-vegetaqrian dailydrinker, and didn't wash before bed, so fair enough. Though I love going down on a guy more than anything that might be enough to put me off). At any rate, I'm pretty averagely good looking (or not average looking, but averagely good looking), especially in this part of the world, and my body is only semi-ideal, in my mind.
But it does seem to be some guys type, guess all have different standards and different past women to compare with, He's also a big guy himself, so I guess he might want someone closer to his size and something to hold onto that won't break. Also, guess it depends on the judgement of the one who judges - I'm young, firm, well-proportioned, and well-shaped, which might be perfect to someone who wasn't, while I'm just worrying about my wide hips, squarish shape, "full" thighs, etc.
Also, be honest guys, as it's literally identical. Only I'm a bit heavier at the bottom and a bit fuller and perkier at the top, but hardly enough to be visible. I know I'm "fuckable", just would like to be a bit more than that.
Though I've had drunk guys com up to me saying things like "Heavenly body" or "Wonderful breasts you have", my own opinion massively outwighs them and barely even registers in comparison, and I know what my ideal female body is (Madonna without the muscles - or the like). Rather than a Marilyn Monroe with firmer beasts and slimmer but squarer hips - like me. ;( Though it could always be worse and I guess it's tolerable - my problem is more being too much of a perfectionist, I think, as shown by some of my other posts). Like I feel I can't possbily be properly desirable to a man without the perfect Brigitte Bardot figure (and who has? even Kylie Minogue nsaid "No woman is the perfect woman , but she was the closest). Mind you, I'd rather be me than flat pixie like Kylie Minoue).
Aaargh....why are the female beauty ideals so unattainably high? If you have one thing right, something else is sure to be suffering. And I'm even one of the more blessed ones (maybe even in the 5% - one of the hardest things for a woman is to view her body objectively - but I've always drawn attention for my body. IT'S JUST NOT PERFECT OR JUST THE WAY I WANT IT I want it more rounded and delicately built, to feel like THE PERFECFT WOMAN (a bit too much testosterone in the Nordic female - all things have their downside). Either way, to him it all seems to be ideal, never experienced anything like it, and I won't lie and say I don't sometimes enjoy the worship.
With a white guy it would be more "Yea, you're alright, for sure, but Pamela Anderson is really something, and have you seen a young Michelle Pfeiffer? (not that they say it out loud, but they constantly think it, and their minds seem to be constanrly roaming around like that from one knock-out to another, not really settled on the one their with and totally satisfied with her). While wiith a guy with an origin from a"darker" country, no mattr how slight, the situation is a bit different . and he can indeed worship you like a goddess or female celebrity.
Although I'm not really one for that side of things, either - I would rather be the worshipp-er - just how I am. I'm more feminine, so I like do be the one that's devoted, adoring, giving, and let's a man take control of me when he can and I deem he's worth it. mmmmm. (insert emotional orgasm). Don't blame me, but those crazy hormones/age-old instincts.
Anyway, do you think he's ruining me for a future BF (of my own kind)? I mean, my standards are pretty high now. Or maybe I should just stick with his "kind"?
I've also noticed an increasingly obsessive interest in my own appearance lately (while it used to be much more about impressing guys with my intellect) but now I get so rewarded by it, it's hard not to. I could happily spend 3 hours a day rolling my hair, doing my make-up, steaming my face, etc. these days (or 5, never been one for moderation) Just makes me feel good knowing the rewards that are coming. He'll also buy me anything I want without needing to ask, within reason (his family owns a chain of restaurants so he always has money though he still needs to drive taxi 12 hours a day until he's made enough tax to get his work permit - like 10 years worth for an average worker. Although he could otherwise live off his family business - but then he could end up getting kicked out of the country and he has the dicipline not to do that.
Like if I mention I want a new mobile, or whatever. And 3 days after we met he sent me like 50 long-stemmed pale pink roses (after I said I love pale pink roses the most). Once he even sent me 100 Klonopins (even though he's totally against drugs and doesn't even drink, but I pretend to just need it for sleep. Think he's on to me, he's sharp). But the old fair skin/hair/eyes still seem to be working their magic and he can't stay mad at me for long. Though I also like to think it's my heart as that has always been my REAL power over men - or 1. Heart 2. Looks. 3. Intellect - though all the others would be moot without the first, that's why it concerns me so much. Or the real me, or what I really have to offer would go unwanted. Sure I'm not the only one who's experienced this.
Also think it's part of his culture where men are expected to provide for women and women have little opportunity to. While I notice he hever makes his own food but always just calls up one of his 70 relatives hearing what they are planning to eat and then goes over to where he fancies that night. Never really need to cook myself for that reason.
Though I LOVE cooking and making myself beautiful for him, like any woman in love would for her man, it's all in our instincts and not really a negative thing, but a source of joy for the both of us. I like surprising him with a lacey new dress (love white lace with matching lingerie) or intricate new hairstyle (like you would use for an audition with the king):
LOVE that hairstyle, by the way. The world would be a better place if more women spent more time making their hair into artistic settings like that. -compared to the bird's nexts many are. I want to look like a princess...I WANT A MAID! Who can do my hair and make-up, all for 30-60 minutes a day while I read Bluelight (think I'm ready to make a deal with the Devil). No hush, no thing to joke about.
Even a homemade perfume, like of pure rose oil. Happens to be a little hobby of mine (beauty in the form of SCENT, yay), and he has a hyper-sensitive sense of smell, so that's something he really appreciates. It's just a way of expressing my love for him.
So is this my future, then? Cooking, keeping house, and beautifying myself to the max for the man in my life? LOL. Sorry, can't help but seeing the funny side, but funnily enough the prospect also makes me feel strangely happy. Guess I just live for love, eh? Love, men, and beauty = my life. Oh well, it could always be worse I. And there's always my intellect as a back-up if it all goes awry.
So who's best? The intellectual but slightly slackerish, boyish, Ninae (though I've always made the most of my looks, grew up with a mother in the beauty industry and also did some modelling before I realised it actually ruins your looks - they only care you can do the job and don't give a fuck what it does to your appearance). Or, puts you on the shelf until your fried hair has grownn out to look acceptable again.
Or, the present submissive, but happy, that has put female liberation back, ooh, I don't know, 10 years? This wasn't written for comedy effect and is all serious, by the way. All I need now is a few more kittens, and I have that need covered too (he wants children, like NOW, and MANY, but no way), and my writing can be done from home while I tend to his every need (he only has 5 months left of being a taxi driver and he'll open his own restaurants, but I won't have to be working there). This will only last for as long as I'm in love, of course, or there'll be a chilly show you the door (no stability in the female heart, without the odd exception, is there?).
So what do you make of all this? A bit crazy, or just natural and just nature taking its course, so all is well and in order? (Already know I'm slightly unhinged so that is not the matterhere). Maybe he being gone so long (working 12 hours a day with only phone, mail, and SMS to keep in touch - although we can talk from the cab all day) is sending me a bit loopy?
Now where is my babypink BB vintage lipstick and matching babydoll dress for tonight (with real pale Rose oil to go with)?
But admit it, guys, wouldn't you really love a GF like this - who catered to all your senses and heart - especially if she wasn't minddead/brainwashed and really knew better? Or could you stand someone like me in the first place? The ones who can seem to adore me, the others - not so much. But, come on, I have my plus points, good body (depending on your tastes, better face than average (an "8" on average, using that scale - (at the rare points I can see myself as a 9 I feel ecstatic - and seem to receive endless love and adoration) - "Beauty doesn't buy you love" - right-on. At my lowest - 7 or justabove average.
And do love giving head. Higher than average sex drive - though sexuality more driven by emotion/passion/sexual energy or love/romance - like a feminine woman (Not as an empty ritual, which I just find pointless, but the genuine feeling of it (the high/ecstacy) - and don't have so much physical sex-drive for myself. Though I LOVE giving it to a man or satisfying a man I love that way. Makes me feel sexually submissive and gives me a strange kind of high. Which works out for most men unless they are so brainwashed by porn they expect a real pornstar with any human element taken out of their sexuality. But luckily, there's quite few men like that.
Am also capable of providing quite high levels of intellectual stimulation (IQ around 135 - not sure how much that's worth these days, but that's my feedback from MENSA and enough for my ego, at least.
Finally I could mention my creativity and spirituality, which are quite highly developed.
He is also quite spiritual, by the way, or has true religious feeling, which is important to me. Whether he's a Muslim or what-not. The main thing is he has a sense of the spiritual and presence of God.
I think that's all to be said here. So verdict? (Think I'm prepared for anything you have to throw at me).
This is the first I've chosen to write about this relationship even though it's being going on in some form or other wince October, for some reason. Just felt so unsure where it was going at first, but feels like it has more purpose and meaning to it now.
Afraid I might be losing my sense of judegement as I've had a (HOT) Pakistani BF (more like a dark-coloured, Northern European look, you know, that beautiful Indian, type) who adores my fair skin/blond hair/blue-eyes looks and anythig that reminds him of it. He brings it up, or anything relatd to it, many times in a day, so it's obviously a source of delight (I don't mind and rather view it as a simple pleasure). Don't really get it, but they're all the same, unless they've grown up here.
Guess to do with growing up in a country where it's non-existant, as opposed to growing up in say, the US or UK, where it's just another form of human being.
So today he asked me to mail him some pic, I couldn't decide which ones as I'd been gathering uo some good ones for him lately, so I just sent him all my favourites and he just replied "How lovely you are, my girl" "Fantastic pictures", "Love them all", "You're the best", etc.
Is this normal or how a Northern European guy would react, or is he just ecstatic he's had one of his fantasies come true (Nordic girlfriend, with blond hair, blue eyes). He also had an English GF for two years but she didn't seem quite upto his standards (To paraphrase him "He never went down on herbecause she stunk and never bothered to wash (Good attitude by the way, why should he bother, when she can't even make the effort?" (Was a non-vegetaqrian dailydrinker, and didn't wash before bed, so fair enough. Though I love going down on a guy more than anything that might be enough to put me off). At any rate, I'm pretty averagely good looking (or not average looking, but averagely good looking), especially in this part of the world, and my body is only semi-ideal, in my mind.
But it does seem to be some guys type, guess all have different standards and different past women to compare with, He's also a big guy himself, so I guess he might want someone closer to his size and something to hold onto that won't break. Also, guess it depends on the judgement of the one who judges - I'm young, firm, well-proportioned, and well-shaped, which might be perfect to someone who wasn't, while I'm just worrying about my wide hips, squarish shape, "full" thighs, etc.
Also, be honest guys, as it's literally identical. Only I'm a bit heavier at the bottom and a bit fuller and perkier at the top, but hardly enough to be visible. I know I'm "fuckable", just would like to be a bit more than that.
Though I've had drunk guys com up to me saying things like "Heavenly body" or "Wonderful breasts you have", my own opinion massively outwighs them and barely even registers in comparison, and I know what my ideal female body is (Madonna without the muscles - or the like). Rather than a Marilyn Monroe with firmer beasts and slimmer but squarer hips - like me. ;( Though it could always be worse and I guess it's tolerable - my problem is more being too much of a perfectionist, I think, as shown by some of my other posts). Like I feel I can't possbily be properly desirable to a man without the perfect Brigitte Bardot figure (and who has? even Kylie Minogue nsaid "No woman is the perfect woman , but she was the closest). Mind you, I'd rather be me than flat pixie like Kylie Minoue).
Aaargh....why are the female beauty ideals so unattainably high? If you have one thing right, something else is sure to be suffering. And I'm even one of the more blessed ones (maybe even in the 5% - one of the hardest things for a woman is to view her body objectively - but I've always drawn attention for my body. IT'S JUST NOT PERFECT OR JUST THE WAY I WANT IT I want it more rounded and delicately built, to feel like THE PERFECFT WOMAN (a bit too much testosterone in the Nordic female - all things have their downside). Either way, to him it all seems to be ideal, never experienced anything like it, and I won't lie and say I don't sometimes enjoy the worship.
With a white guy it would be more "Yea, you're alright, for sure, but Pamela Anderson is really something, and have you seen a young Michelle Pfeiffer? (not that they say it out loud, but they constantly think it, and their minds seem to be constanrly roaming around like that from one knock-out to another, not really settled on the one their with and totally satisfied with her). While wiith a guy with an origin from a"darker" country, no mattr how slight, the situation is a bit different . and he can indeed worship you like a goddess or female celebrity.
Although I'm not really one for that side of things, either - I would rather be the worshipp-er - just how I am. I'm more feminine, so I like do be the one that's devoted, adoring, giving, and let's a man take control of me when he can and I deem he's worth it. mmmmm. (insert emotional orgasm). Don't blame me, but those crazy hormones/age-old instincts.
Anyway, do you think he's ruining me for a future BF (of my own kind)? I mean, my standards are pretty high now. Or maybe I should just stick with his "kind"?
I've also noticed an increasingly obsessive interest in my own appearance lately (while it used to be much more about impressing guys with my intellect) but now I get so rewarded by it, it's hard not to. I could happily spend 3 hours a day rolling my hair, doing my make-up, steaming my face, etc. these days (or 5, never been one for moderation) Just makes me feel good knowing the rewards that are coming. He'll also buy me anything I want without needing to ask, within reason (his family owns a chain of restaurants so he always has money though he still needs to drive taxi 12 hours a day until he's made enough tax to get his work permit - like 10 years worth for an average worker. Although he could otherwise live off his family business - but then he could end up getting kicked out of the country and he has the dicipline not to do that.
Like if I mention I want a new mobile, or whatever. And 3 days after we met he sent me like 50 long-stemmed pale pink roses (after I said I love pale pink roses the most). Once he even sent me 100 Klonopins (even though he's totally against drugs and doesn't even drink, but I pretend to just need it for sleep. Think he's on to me, he's sharp). But the old fair skin/hair/eyes still seem to be working their magic and he can't stay mad at me for long. Though I also like to think it's my heart as that has always been my REAL power over men - or 1. Heart 2. Looks. 3. Intellect - though all the others would be moot without the first, that's why it concerns me so much. Or the real me, or what I really have to offer would go unwanted. Sure I'm not the only one who's experienced this.
Also think it's part of his culture where men are expected to provide for women and women have little opportunity to. While I notice he hever makes his own food but always just calls up one of his 70 relatives hearing what they are planning to eat and then goes over to where he fancies that night. Never really need to cook myself for that reason.
Though I LOVE cooking and making myself beautiful for him, like any woman in love would for her man, it's all in our instincts and not really a negative thing, but a source of joy for the both of us. I like surprising him with a lacey new dress (love white lace with matching lingerie) or intricate new hairstyle (like you would use for an audition with the king):
LOVE that hairstyle, by the way. The world would be a better place if more women spent more time making their hair into artistic settings like that. -compared to the bird's nexts many are. I want to look like a princess...I WANT A MAID! Who can do my hair and make-up, all for 30-60 minutes a day while I read Bluelight (think I'm ready to make a deal with the Devil). No hush, no thing to joke about.
Even a homemade perfume, like of pure rose oil. Happens to be a little hobby of mine (beauty in the form of SCENT, yay), and he has a hyper-sensitive sense of smell, so that's something he really appreciates. It's just a way of expressing my love for him.
So is this my future, then? Cooking, keeping house, and beautifying myself to the max for the man in my life? LOL. Sorry, can't help but seeing the funny side, but funnily enough the prospect also makes me feel strangely happy. Guess I just live for love, eh? Love, men, and beauty = my life. Oh well, it could always be worse I. And there's always my intellect as a back-up if it all goes awry.
So who's best? The intellectual but slightly slackerish, boyish, Ninae (though I've always made the most of my looks, grew up with a mother in the beauty industry and also did some modelling before I realised it actually ruins your looks - they only care you can do the job and don't give a fuck what it does to your appearance). Or, puts you on the shelf until your fried hair has grownn out to look acceptable again.
Or, the present submissive, but happy, that has put female liberation back, ooh, I don't know, 10 years? This wasn't written for comedy effect and is all serious, by the way. All I need now is a few more kittens, and I have that need covered too (he wants children, like NOW, and MANY, but no way), and my writing can be done from home while I tend to his every need (he only has 5 months left of being a taxi driver and he'll open his own restaurants, but I won't have to be working there). This will only last for as long as I'm in love, of course, or there'll be a chilly show you the door (no stability in the female heart, without the odd exception, is there?).
So what do you make of all this? A bit crazy, or just natural and just nature taking its course, so all is well and in order? (Already know I'm slightly unhinged so that is not the matterhere). Maybe he being gone so long (working 12 hours a day with only phone, mail, and SMS to keep in touch - although we can talk from the cab all day) is sending me a bit loopy?
Now where is my babypink BB vintage lipstick and matching babydoll dress for tonight (with real pale Rose oil to go with)?
But admit it, guys, wouldn't you really love a GF like this - who catered to all your senses and heart - especially if she wasn't minddead/brainwashed and really knew better? Or could you stand someone like me in the first place? The ones who can seem to adore me, the others - not so much. But, come on, I have my plus points, good body (depending on your tastes, better face than average (an "8" on average, using that scale - (at the rare points I can see myself as a 9 I feel ecstatic - and seem to receive endless love and adoration) - "Beauty doesn't buy you love" - right-on. At my lowest - 7 or justabove average.
And do love giving head. Higher than average sex drive - though sexuality more driven by emotion/passion/sexual energy or love/romance - like a feminine woman (Not as an empty ritual, which I just find pointless, but the genuine feeling of it (the high/ecstacy) - and don't have so much physical sex-drive for myself. Though I LOVE giving it to a man or satisfying a man I love that way. Makes me feel sexually submissive and gives me a strange kind of high. Which works out for most men unless they are so brainwashed by porn they expect a real pornstar with any human element taken out of their sexuality. But luckily, there's quite few men like that.
Am also capable of providing quite high levels of intellectual stimulation (IQ around 135 - not sure how much that's worth these days, but that's my feedback from MENSA and enough for my ego, at least.
Finally I could mention my creativity and spirituality, which are quite highly developed.
He is also quite spiritual, by the way, or has true religious feeling, which is important to me. Whether he's a Muslim or what-not. The main thing is he has a sense of the spiritual and presence of God.
I think that's all to be said here. So verdict? (Think I'm prepared for anything you have to throw at me).
This is the first I've chosen to write about this relationship even though it's being going on in some form or other wince October, for some reason. Just felt so unsure where it was going at first, but feels like it has more purpose and meaning to it now.
