If you saw someone with cuts all over?

[zombiesarepeaceful]

I'd just like everyone's personal opinion on this.

So, say you're out in public, and you see someone with (healed, we're not talking fresh open wounds, just old scars) all over their arms. They're obviously old self harm scars. What is your initial reaction? Do you even give it a second thought, or do you just see their arms, shrug, and continue doing what you were doing? Would you avoid that person like the plague or treat them like a normal person?

EDIT: What if they were a coworker? Or a customer you were dealing with at work? Would you still not give it a second thought?

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

A stranger? I would ignore it--probably think she is depressed or was. Def. continue with what I was doing. I tend to pretty much ignore everyone though so I guess I would treat them as a normal person.

Story:
A girl went to the front of the class to present her oral writing assignment. Her top was a little short and she kept shifting so all her scars were exposed. You could feel the tension in the room because none of us had ever viewed her like that. She's always been so cheerful. I definitely felt sad for her because I knew she was going through struggles + being exposed like that to your entire class is a little much.

 

[Tude]

I wouldn't give it a second thought. It's none of my business.

 

[llama112]

Yeah, I wouldn't really think about it.

 

[ad lib]

It is absolutely none of my business, so I'd keep going about my day. I wouldn't stop and say something to them or whatever.

 

[bagochina]

First I would think damaged goods, then I would think confused teenager. Probably wouldn't hold anything against them but definite red flags would go up.

 

[zombiesarepeaceful]

What if they were a customer that you were dealing with at work? Or a coworker?

 

[bagochina]

Same thoughts regardless, if it was a coworker I might make a comment.

 

[ad lib]

What if they were a customer that you were dealing with at work? Or a coworker?

It depends on the relationship you have with them.

 

[kaywholed]

they are not as obvious as you would think (not an assumption of scar being from self harm)
you can get rid of them pretty well if you take care of yourself
if i notice I don't give a shit.

 

[thujone]

First I would think damaged goods, then I would think confused teenager. Probably wouldn't hold anything against them but definite red flags would go up.

Word, although I usually save my red flags for after we've had a conversation. Met some crazy-lookin folk who were a lot more sane than some sane-lookin folk.

 

[zombiesarepeaceful]

I just wondered because my scars can't be passed off as something else at all. They're obvious, and obviously self inflicted. I regret it now but nothing I can do about it. I use scar gel and vitamin E oil on them but it won't do much good because they're several years old. I always worry that everyone is judging me.

 

[thujone]

Honestly, if it was me, I'd consider cosmetic surgery. You can always get a subtle tat to remind yourself of your regrets later, sometimes it's important to remember but it's not always good to give strangers ammunition with which to judge you. At least, not unless you're one of those f-the-world-n-everyone-in-it types

 

[zombiesarepeaceful]

I plan on getting more tats to cover my arms. I have a few now to try to distract away from the scars

 

[bronson]

I just wondered because my scars can't be passed off as something else at all. They're obvious, and obviously self inflicted. I regret it now but nothing I can do about it. I use scar gel and vitamin E oil on them but it won't do much good because they're several years old. I always worry that everyone is judging me.

One of my coworkers has very visible scars on their arms, obviously self inflicted. Happened to notice them one day, and I just made the comment to them, "You alright"? Odd happenstance, but a friendship actually built from there, apparently they thought it was nice that I noticed and actually cared.

More to the point though, everyone views the world through a different lens, but you have to at least try to avoid going around trying to guess at what other people 'see'. For me, my own perception of things is plenty enough to deal with.

 

[Jean-Paul]

someone asked me about my arm recently. that's the nice thing about uncouth ghetto bitches. "what happened to your arm?" instead of whispering. i said i fell on my bike. wtf am i supposed to say? i have this really socially unacceptable thing where sometimes cutting my own skin was really relieving? fuck off. i can't always wear two tons of bracelets or long sleeves. at least it's only on one arm. i suppose that says IDGAF rly. right hand. left arm. i'm right handed. guess which arm is scarred.

it was really, really nice when this rad guy worked with me one day and at one point we talked about being teens and he showed me his arm and he was just like "yeah it was just a thing i did, i went through that" and it was like i could really breathe that day at work. that guy was my good friend for about 5 hours and i thank him for it because every day before and since has been a bore.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

^You could blame it on a crazy cat? I had scratches all over my hand and arm that looked pretty crazy when I first got my kitty.

Or you could just say, went through a stupid phase when I was young.

What if they were a customer that you were dealing with at work? Or a coworker?

Customer, definitely wouldn't say anything nor even attempt to look.

Coworker, wouldn't say anything either. It's none of my business. Everyone's got a shitty past. However, if they were fresh, then, as a manager, I would have to voice my concerns about mental stability in the work environment.

You, my dear, wear thick bracelets! Or stick to sheer long-sleeve if you have your own dress code.
*You just need to find the right bracelet. Thick, comfortable fits to your wrist and doesn't move much so you can cover what's necessary. Usually the elastic bracelets are great.

 

[Joeof1]

Not my problem, not my arms.

 

[Jean-Paul]

^You could blame it on a crazy cat? I had scratches all over my hand and arm that looked pretty crazy when I first got my kitty.

Or you could just say, went through a stupid phase when I was young.


Customer, definitely wouldn't say anything nor even attempt to look.

Coworker, wouldn't say anything either. It's none of my business. Everyone's got a shitty past. However, if they were fresh, then, as a manager, I would have to voice my concerns about mental stability in the work environment.

You, my dear, wear thick bracelets! Or stick to sheer long-sleeve if you have your own dress code.
*You just need to find the right bracelet. Thick, comfortable fits to your wrist and doesn't move much so you can cover what's necessary. Usually the elastic bracelets are great.

yeah, the coworker and i hit it off right away about a lot of stuff so it was easy to tell it'd be okay. i wouldn't advise it though. but basically being uncouth was a lot of fun.

yeah my plan is a lot of bracelets, but the bigger point is that if my scars bother you to the point where you are horrified you aren't the kind of person i need or want to know anyway. go back to safety bubble land where no one does bad things and nothing ugly happens.

 

[zombiesarepeaceful]

well, I do factory work and the factory I work in currently has a long sleeve shirt policy. Have to wear long sleeves because of the risk of burns (which I did get burned, adding to the scars on my arm, I hoped it WOULDN'T scar). So that kind of work is ok. But a lot of places I've worked at they've asked me why I was wearing long sleeves. I would just shrug and say I had tattoos that I didn't want to be seen, or that I was used to wearing long sleeves. Where I work now I don't have to show my arms ever and that's great. But in public I feel like a freak.