sleepy_door_mouse
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 2, 2007
- Messages
- 5
I am not a great man.
I am neither symetrical, nor complete.
I am neither beautiful, nor handsome.
I am twisted and malformed.
I am meager, even for a mortal; weak of bone and sinew.
I am often in pain; as often from these thoughts as from this malfunctioning cellular machine.
Some of this, I have done to myself.
There is no hope of changing most of this, no hope of valuable self-improvement; short of letting a stranger take a knife to my form.
But this would go against everything I believe in, this would be to become a lie.
I have few regrets, but that I could not naturally be better for those around me is certainly one of those few.
I have been told I am intelligent.
I have been told, by doctors and researchers, that my potential is great.
But this potential is wasted on a lazy creature, a hateful creature, a creature concealing a trap.
Three generations - father, grandfather, great grandfather - three men who ended their lives in an asylum.
Three men who ended their lives screaming in senseless rage at imaginary foes.
Three men who ended their lives staring into the unseen abyss of their nightmares.
Of my nightmares.
And eventually, I shall join them.
My genes hide a secret that past events have unveiled, a secret that I can neither forget nor escape.
My biological clock is forever ticking, and I am quickly running out of time.
I have no hope of happiness, no hope of love or retirement.
No hope for children, who would only bear this burden themselves.
I have no hope for a future.
I would not ask for much, would not plead for a change of body or mind.
But I do have a few small requests.
Let the mechanism function properly.
Let the powder burn fast and true.
Let the barrel remain unobstructed.
Let my hand be steady and my resolve steadfast.
Let me have the courage to do what I should.
Let this be the right decision.
Right now, all that I truly ask of you - whatever you may truly be - is that you let me live these next few moments, these last few moments, well.
I beg you, "God", for forgiveness.
snap. click...... BOOM.
BOOM
Darkness... Unending darkness...
Where am I? What am I?
~Youareasyoualwayswereandasyoualwayshallbe~
I see... And who are you? What are you?
~IamwhatIalwayshavebeenandwhatIforevershallbe~
Are... Are you God?
~PossibleIdofeelcompassionforalllivingthings... Mygoodchum~
So... Am I dead?
~PossibleYoudoseemtobemissingaphysicalform~
I... see. So.... what now?
~Imafraidthatisuptoyoutodecide~
What do you mean?
~Youarenotyou~
.... Huh?
~Youareonlyyouaslongasyouwishtobeyou~
.....?
~EnergycannotbedestroyedItcanonlyberestructuredRearranged~
So... Im going to be reincarnated?
~Imafraidthatisuptoyoutodecide~
You already said that.
~Iknowbutyoudidntlisten~
Sigh... Can you try to be alittle clearer?
~Noteasilyno~
Great... So, what? Do I just choose a form?
~Inamannerofspeaking~
Technically, you arent 'speaking'.... Anyway, I want to come back as a leotard.
~HahaBiodomePauleyShoreishilarious~
I know, right!?.... So, lets do this. Im ready for some gymnastics practice, if you get my drift.... If I could wink, I would.
~Iknow~
So, whats the holdup?
~Youcannotchoosehowyouwillreturn~
Huh? Why not?
~Youhavealreadymadethechoice~
Oh, really?
~YesNowyoumustunderstandwhy~
And how do I do that?
~Thatishardtoexplain~
Sigh. You talkin circles alot, did anyone ever tell you that?
~Youhavenoidea~
Alright, fine... How long is this going to take?
~ThatishardtoexplainaswellSorry~
..... Ya know, youre kind of annoying.
~ShowingyouwillbeeasierAreyouready~
I guess.
~GoodIloveyouGoodluckthistime~
This ti-?
*POP*
*POP*
Congratulations you two!
Its a boy!
I am neither symetrical, nor complete.
I am neither beautiful, nor handsome.
I am twisted and malformed.
I am meager, even for a mortal; weak of bone and sinew.
I am often in pain; as often from these thoughts as from this malfunctioning cellular machine.
Some of this, I have done to myself.
There is no hope of changing most of this, no hope of valuable self-improvement; short of letting a stranger take a knife to my form.
But this would go against everything I believe in, this would be to become a lie.
I have few regrets, but that I could not naturally be better for those around me is certainly one of those few.
I have been told I am intelligent.
I have been told, by doctors and researchers, that my potential is great.
But this potential is wasted on a lazy creature, a hateful creature, a creature concealing a trap.
Three generations - father, grandfather, great grandfather - three men who ended their lives in an asylum.
Three men who ended their lives screaming in senseless rage at imaginary foes.
Three men who ended their lives staring into the unseen abyss of their nightmares.
Of my nightmares.
And eventually, I shall join them.
My genes hide a secret that past events have unveiled, a secret that I can neither forget nor escape.
My biological clock is forever ticking, and I am quickly running out of time.
I have no hope of happiness, no hope of love or retirement.
No hope for children, who would only bear this burden themselves.
I have no hope for a future.
I would not ask for much, would not plead for a change of body or mind.
But I do have a few small requests.
Let the mechanism function properly.
Let the powder burn fast and true.
Let the barrel remain unobstructed.
Let my hand be steady and my resolve steadfast.
Let me have the courage to do what I should.
Let this be the right decision.
Right now, all that I truly ask of you - whatever you may truly be - is that you let me live these next few moments, these last few moments, well.
I beg you, "God", for forgiveness.
snap. click...... BOOM.
BOOM
Darkness... Unending darkness...
Where am I? What am I?
~Youareasyoualwayswereandasyoualwayshallbe~
I see... And who are you? What are you?
~IamwhatIalwayshavebeenandwhatIforevershallbe~
Are... Are you God?
~PossibleIdofeelcompassionforalllivingthings... Mygoodchum~
So... Am I dead?
~PossibleYoudoseemtobemissingaphysicalform~
I... see. So.... what now?
~Imafraidthatisuptoyoutodecide~
What do you mean?
~Youarenotyou~
.... Huh?
~Youareonlyyouaslongasyouwishtobeyou~
.....?
~EnergycannotbedestroyedItcanonlyberestructuredRearranged~
So... Im going to be reincarnated?
~Imafraidthatisuptoyoutodecide~
You already said that.
~Iknowbutyoudidntlisten~
Sigh... Can you try to be alittle clearer?
~Noteasilyno~
Great... So, what? Do I just choose a form?
~Inamannerofspeaking~
Technically, you arent 'speaking'.... Anyway, I want to come back as a leotard.
~HahaBiodomePauleyShoreishilarious~
I know, right!?.... So, lets do this. Im ready for some gymnastics practice, if you get my drift.... If I could wink, I would.
~Iknow~
So, whats the holdup?
~Youcannotchoosehowyouwillreturn~
Huh? Why not?
~Youhavealreadymadethechoice~
Oh, really?
~YesNowyoumustunderstandwhy~
And how do I do that?
~Thatishardtoexplain~
Sigh. You talkin circles alot, did anyone ever tell you that?
~Youhavenoidea~
Alright, fine... How long is this going to take?
~ThatishardtoexplainaswellSorry~
..... Ya know, youre kind of annoying.
~ShowingyouwillbeeasierAreyouready~
I guess.
~GoodIloveyouGoodluckthistime~
This ti-?
*POP*
*POP*
Congratulations you two!
Its a boy!
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