If you died today

[Lost Ego]

Who would miss you? My first impulse when i just asked myself this question was nobody but i'm inclined to find a few names to deter sadness.

My mom and my sister. i doubt any/many friends(or anybody else) would genuinely care for long...

 

[manicmama]

My children, my parents, my grandparents, my brothers, my niece, a few friends.

No doubt I could name a few who would jump for joy.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Why would your first impulse say your own mother and sister wouldn't miss you...

But then you list them?

Deep down you know they would but rather they wouldn't...or what?

 

[tripnotyzm]

Death is a big thing dude.
You may feel alone in the world with these negative chains of thoughts you are going through, but surely your death would shake up more people than only your mother & sister.
It is something nobody want's to experience, no matter how well they may or may not know you, death & life are two things that are always remembered by people around you.

 

[sconnie420]

My nieces and nephew..

 

[chrisalt]

my family, my girlfriend, 2 best friends.

 

[paranoid android]

Thinking about the people that would miss me has actually stopped me from blowing my brains out on a few occasions. Ive lost friends to suicide and i know just how much it guts you so i couldn't do that to people that love me. Though sometimes at my lowest i do feel all alone i know I'm not.

I know my mom would miss me and i suppose my miserable bastard of a brother would and i guess my dad would too. Also the few people i call real friends would miss me alot.

I have no plans on going anywhere soon mind ya

 

[K88ABY]

Not a soul

 

[ugly]

I thought about suicide more than once this year. Not working and not even getting interviews and being constantly broke and behind in the bills has stressed me to my core.

But my daughter and granddaughter are too sweet. I look at this, and I can't feel anything but thankful.

Not to mention all these other people.

My kids and grandkids and parents. I can't hurt them, as miserable as I feel sometimes, I just can't hurt them.

 

[ugly]

Not to mention my mother and father, married 54 years. I can't imagine them at MY funeral.... it would break them.

 

[NNL07]

I lost my sister and cousin in 09 . They are missed by many. I am new to this. I am looking for support and help. I have been taking opiates in pill form and subs since 09 daily. May skip a day or two at most if I can't get. I need off. This is day one. Last I used was yesterday 60 OC and 4 10 mil perks. Normal day is 6-15 pills ( or half sub). I went threw withdrawl once but was only taking for 6 months 3-5 ( 7.5) a day. I have 3 days off work. Cold turkey with xanex or use small dose subs???

Thanks and god bless!

 

[ugly]

Not to mention my husband of 33 years.... he depends on me heavily....

 

[TouchN' Stuff Blvd]

I used to tell myself I was just going on living not to hurt the people that would miss me, but I think I was deceiving myself, fear of death is the human condition.

 

[Lost Ego]

^TouchN' that's some deep shit. Reminds me of a book a read recently, Janet fitch said "Loneliness is the human condition". But ya i think u hit the nail on the head right there...

Ugly idk why u chose that for your alias but you are far from ugly, you are beautiful and so is your family. You say you're grateful for your family, for me i don't feel like i deserve any of my family, ya know?

My grandma's husband died a month ago, i barely knew him - i didn't cry, i wasn't even phased. But i should have been right? How well do i really know anybody? I dont think anybody really knows me and i dont think they need to

edit: Trypnotyzm on hindsight, maybe i am just in a negative train of thought, in a dark place. Ima edit out the negative stuff

 

[Serotonin101]

I do not fear death at all, i fear the actual dying process. My lucky ass will die the most miserable death. After death, probably my parents and a few friends. My ex's would miss me as well and the NA family i have would miss me. Others would be suprised i made it this far. My death if it comes early will probably be of a heroin overdose if i relapse or by accident as im only 21 and only have 5 months clean.

 

[Lost Ego]

Oh don't say that seratonin(ima call u 5HT ), have faith in your recovery, i believe u can do it man. Stay away from that shit 5HT, you're better than that!

 

[Ds]

if i died today then i would want to be buried upside down so the world can kiss this white ass.

 

[Serotonin101]

Oh i plan on staying clean. The plan is to marry an amazing girl, start a family and lead a nice long successful life. Though like we say in NA, "just for today". I know i wont use today (as im heading to bed lol) but tomorrow who knows. Just being honest. 5ht was my "loading supplement" years ago when i was a big e-tard. Roll hard or roll home lol

 

[ugly]

Ugly idk why u chose that for your alias but you are far from ugly, you are beautiful and so is your family. You say you're grateful for your family, for me i don't feel like i deserve any of my family, ya know?

Im on the outside
Im looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Cause inside youre ugly
Youre Ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

These lyrics explain my screen name. Thank you for the compliment, though.
I'm sorry you feel like you don't deserve your family. Feelings can change and I hope you learn to accept yourself as part of a family unit, regardless of everything else, because you are connected even though you can't see it. You are a human being but so are they and we all fail at something sometime.

My grandma's husband died a month ago, i barely knew him - i didn't cry, i wasn't even phased. But i should have been right? How well do i really know anybody? I dont think anybody really knows me and i dont think they need to

Why should you grieve for someone you barely knew? I don't know anyone who grieves for people they barely knew. Maybe some might feel sad for those who actually are grief-stricken without feeling the pain themselves.

You say that you don't think anybody really knows you. I know for a fact that nobody really knows me. I came to terms with this many years ago and I'm ok with it. In fact I think it is probably impossible to totally know someone 100%. We would not have the concept of privacy if we could be completely known. I need my private self. I used to feel sorry for myself, lonesome, empty, when I was much younger.

Now I recognize the private me for who I am and I am thankful for that facet of my life.

 

[Pagey]

My parents, siblings, remaining grandparents, a few friends, my boyfriend, maybe my ex...well that's not too bad I guess