Cloudburst
Bluelighter
It is very brave of you to post this despite your insecurity of it being corny and not helpful. It was not corny because it came from the fucking heart, and it was helpful because it got me (and surely dozens if not hundreds others) to look at the relationship between unique painful experiences and suicidal ideation via a different perspective. It did at least affect one suicidal person - it makes me see how there can be so many sources of pain I am not aware of because I'm too absorbed in what is currently causing me pain. Perhaps planning for worst case scenario situations such as what has occurred to you would help drastically. It'd take a lot of forethought though. I also feel great gratification giving advice as well, so feel free to ask some from me, although you have drastically more life experience, maybe my relative naivety (only 20) will offer some kind of help if you catch my drift.
Was the past mention of your previous problems catharsis and is currently resolved (which seems to be the case), or would you like some observations on them? I'd be glad to if that is the case.
Don't be afraid to post here. No assholes in this section, this is literally a support group and internet support groups have been proven to be just as effective as a standard sit-down type. And they help a lot, believe me.
Giving advice and getting advice are both equally beneficial. I'd like to see you around here more if you wish and/or have the time. Don't be insecure, everyone here is sincerely nice (this isn't the lounge or whatever). I wish you the best of luck and keep in touch.
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My situation, dire and very scary, would appreciate some feedback:
Everyone around me has been mentioning that I have been experiencing noticeable mania, just mania not mixed. I've done an unbelievable amount of ridiculous shit (though I don't remember most of them) and I am having perceptual distortions if not outright visual and auditory hallucinations, I can at least acknowledge that. I've long passed the euphoric phase and now this is a complete living hell. Mania, contrary to "common knowledge," is not fun and games. I've been profoundly suicidal every night (does not seem to occur during daytime though, but regardless I cannot sleep - this is day 5) to the point where I plan it out, research most effective possible methods, decide where to do it, my thoughts absorbed in these demonic gory scenes behind my eyelids and dark black lines distancing myself from the outside world, laying ruin to self-awareness and thus placing myself at a higher risk. It is so strange that I am so deeply suicidal during a manic episode (I tend to be mixed), has anyone else had similar experiences?
I really do fear for my life at the present moment. Every night I ask myself very seriously, "am I going to survive tonight?"
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God, fucking yuppies, I can't imagine anyone liking those types...
