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If You are Thinking about Suicide, Please Read This

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^^ B&O, you can't give up that easily. There is so much good stuff left to experience in this life, but you have to actually stick around to see it.

What's going on with you at the moment to take you feel like this?? PM me if you want, I'm always up for a chat.

Take care okay? <3
 
meh im back. its just i fucking hate opiates, but i cant stop.i dont even know why i made that stupid post in the basic discussion regarding patches. everytime it wears off im pissed off and annoyed with everyone. being broke, and the only person thats your friend/half ass id consider as close to a boyfriend ive had being 3 hours away isnt to comforting. meh. i just need rehab bad and i was gonna drive myself last night but im so sick of calling this place and pussing out. i just wanna get clean. i remember how nice it was being clean. the trees, the sky..life... it was well the most amazing most euphoric thing ever. now im fucked and dont know where to go and what to do. im sorry.:(:|:X
 
BananasAndOranges said:
meh im back. its just i fucking hate opiates, but i cant stop.i dont even know why i made that stupid post in the basic discussion regarding patches. everytime it wears off im pissed off and annoyed with everyone. being broke, and the only person thats your friend/half ass id consider as close to a boyfriend ive had being 3 hours away isnt to comforting. meh. i just need rehab bad and i was gonna drive myself last night but im so sick of calling this place and pussing out. i just wanna get clean. i remember how nice it was being clean. the trees, the sky..life... it was well the most amazing most euphoric thing ever. now im fucked and dont know where to go and what to do. im sorry.:(:|:X
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you are not alone,friend.this is the place to be b/c we all understand that and will support you and your decisions and try to help you find a way to deal with opiate addiction.I've been thru it twice.I won't lie,it was hard,but necessary.I admire your desire to address some drowning influences and feelings in your post.I got the email-Your 1st one when I woke and I was afraid and worried about you,I was very happy to see you back.keep coming back-we are all strangers just waiting to become friends.one down here,my friend.they call me skillz,but what can I say,jack of all trades,master of none.but i will try my hardest to help you if you want to talk.here at bluelight we take the bad with the good bc we are all human.I promise,you are in the right place...I'd like to see you hang around and get to know some of us.u won't be sorry.

much peace and love....................skillz<3
 
Im just sick of being lonely. Lonely and feeling used, and slightly retarded/strung/burnt out. I've lost all my friends for the most part as far as I know. I havent talked to anyone who claimed to be my friend in a few days and I havent hung out with my only friend who I hope isnt fed up with me in a week. Im guessing by the no contact in a few days means fuck you. I just dont know what to do. If I had heroin by my side, I've never shot up before, but id do it right now. If I had a gun right now id probably just make it easier for me and everyone around me.
 
BannanasAndOranges,

I too understand the difficulties of opioid dependency. It is like.... they work so well for removing physical and emotional pain, and produce comfortable euphoria and confidence.

Then it comes to the time when it is taking its toll because of withdrawals, cost, availability issues, et cetera.

The difficult part for me is that I am used to having that extra spring in my step, so to speak, and when I do not dose I feel incomplete.

Try to be strong. I know how difficult it is, yet being dopesick or wanting to feel well are issues that you can overcome. Not an adequate reason to end one's life.

....

<3
 
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B&O, so sorry to hear you're having such a hard time man. You're never alone though, especially on Bluelight. There are so many people on here who care about you and your welfare. I know you're having a rough time right now but things will get better.
Have you ever gotten any professional help with your opiate problems? Maybe it might be time to think about getting some help? How would you feel about that?

Take care okay? <3
 
Thinking of making an exit bag. That and 50mg's of haloperidol should do the job.
 
Sweet P said:
Thinking of making an exit bag. That and 50mg's of haloperidol should do the job.
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Why hun?? You keep beating these suicidal urges, so you know you've got the strength to overcome it. Why give up now? Please PM me if you need to talk okay?? Please take care and don't make any rash decisions <3
 
^ It's ok, I've thought of a temporary solution. I'll just keep taking haloperidol round the clock so I'm continually asleep and don't have to deal with my thoughts and emotions. Might take a 5mg tablet now... night everyone.
 
well checked myself into a hospital last night because i had no where to go, and i was to fatigued to keep looking for this chicks place. so i went to the hospital and told them that i was suicidal. they really didn't do to much for me except get me a free cab ride to a homeless shelter here in birmingham. sucked, i couldn't sleep wortha shit, maybe had 1 -2 hours of sleep within the past 38+hours. feel extremely tired now. going to the salvation army here in a little. not suspose to be there until 4pm, so i still have a few hours.
oh so yeah i was susposed to go into work today, not going to work out, sorry mom.
 
You are going to be all right, D's. You have a good personality (aside from your tendancy to frequent the lounge.... ;)).

You have everything to gain. Just pull yourself up and start from scratch. You will do well.
 
mcat mdpv comedown

iv been on both for 2 weeks now. stopped getting effects. my partner has left me and i have hit rock bottom. im dizzy and get a throbbing 'electrical' pulse running through my body.
how long will i feel like this? i cant cope. i dont recognise my home as familiar and comforting. i cant stop crying. how long for serotonin to return?
 
Do not take MDPV anymore. You obviously do not react well to it. In fact it would be best if you avoid stimulants completely, even caffeine.

I do not know if serotonin is depleted with use of MDPV, but if you have been off it for two weeks, you should begin to feel well within a few days. If not, speak with a doctor. Drugs do not cause mental illnesses, however they can trigger underlying emotional problems. Especially stimulants.

Keep in mind that the effects you are experiencing are from the drug, which can be overcome. Do not off yourself because you are now miserable, because you very well may feel much better within a few days.

Welcome to BL.
 
jackmagill said:
iv been on both for 2 weeks now. stopped getting effects. my partner has left me and i have hit rock bottom. im dizzy and get a throbbing 'electrical' pulse running through my body.
how long will i feel like this? i cant cope. i dont recognise my home as familiar and comforting. i cant stop crying. how long for serotonin to return?
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Man this is kind of why im fucked up right now but instead of 2 weeks make it 5 months or so and change the chemical name. I keep hearing shit and getting an electric pulse feeling still and its been a month. I feel like im going insane. Getting angry, and upset over stupid things. Just last night I kept hearing squeaking that was NOT happening. :|
 
Ugh. I wish I knew what was going on with me. I feel like crying. I have to work in a few hours and I about cried in the bathroom stall the last time I was working until a coworker walked in and I just tried to play it off. I really hate this shit. All I have is 20mg of codone(hydro at that).I really dont know what to do.
 
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