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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

If You are Thinking about Suicide, Please Read This

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^^ Man I am so glad you made it through that time on the bridge <3
I'm sorry that you're in a bad place at the moment though, you deserve better than that man. You know that you will feel happy again though, you know that the dark times will end soon. Just take care of yourself and steer clear of any more drugs until you feel better.
As always, PM me if you need to okay?? <3
 
Hang in there, gorgoroth. You and I are in a very similar situation... broke, lonely, and depressed. I'm only a PM away if you need to talk, and I'll probably catch you on MSN again soon. Take care of yourself, okay? <3
 
I am also broke and often am lonely because of severe anxiety. I'm here to talk if anyone wants to throw me a PM.

I managed to go through the day without a benzo and am going to go to sleep now, so I'll be back in the morning.

Hang in there everyone!
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thax man!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last night i came to the edge and cut the fuck out of myself(no pride in that, simply the truth)iFreaked out ast to how much blood was lost and applied goz and presher. for those who dont no that is the best way to help a gash DONT USE A TURNQUIT, it WILL caus more blood loss, or atleast thats my under standing.
N*E*ways thax captin heroin the reality is most of us do dope to blot out pain,Phisca and phycolgicl so A+ for you on harm reduction
p.s. ive read many of your post being that skag is my d o c and u seem veary intellegent please pm me once i reach BL statis thaxs again
 
Hi BearLeeLive, welcome to The Dark Side <3
I am so glad to hear you're still with us, and thank you to C.H that his words were able to help you through the dark times.

I really hope you can find better ways of coping with stuff than cutting yourself. I have been there too and I can tell you that cutting doesn't actually solve anything. If you need to talk about it you can PM me (Greenlighters can still PM moderators and vice-versa) or you can post about it in the Cutting thread

Please take care okay? <3
 
I'm in tears... I'm living for nothing but a fucking drug. Scoring meth is the only purpose to my life. What kind of life is that? I wish I never touched this shit cos now I'm trapped. I've tried quitting, and it made life horrible... I couldn't feel happy, I couldn't enjoy things, and I didn't have the motivation to do anything. I've gone back to using daily so I can live a normal life, but now my guy says he won't have any more ready till Thursday. So I'm gonna be bedridden and depressed till then. My life is fucked. Totally fucked. I feel like a slave with no hope of freedom.
 
^ I know... it's just such a struggle.

Every day that I don't use I have to think of a reason not to blow my head off.
 
got kickd out rehab , over some bullshit, now i'm straight fucked. homeless once again.
man i feel fuckin deppresed and feel like shit, man i screwed, feel like ending it man.
here i am sitting at the hospital, so close 2 help but to faraway to ask. :(
 
D's said:
got kickd out rehab , over some bullshit, now i'm straight fucked. homeless once again.
man i feel fuckin deppresed and feel like shit, man i screwed, feel like ending it man.
here i am sitting at the hospital, so close 2 help but to faraway to ask. :(
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I feel you man. I'm about one step away from being homeless and typing this feeling like I'm about to go into panic attacks. Youre already at the hospital though, why not just tell them whats up?
 
^ Me too. Wondering what would happen if I walked into the city police department carrying a shotgun...
 
I know im new here and deleted my first post but ill re post it here. I want to off myself everyday. I have not a single friend, and quite honestly I think even my drug related friends hate me. I have never had a friend since grade school. I dropped out of college to smoke out of a stem, stick a straw up my nose, and to wrap things up and make it short take several benzos sometimes reaching the 14mg klonopin mark and drink on top of that amongst other things im ashamed of doing that I wont begin to mention. I think im one of the biggest losers within miles. If im not alone in my room high pretending things are OK, im out scoring some kind of drugs. I overdosed and died a month ago and quite honestly I dont know why I woke up. I dont think anyone besides my mom or dad would care if I died, my brother would just laugh. I have no friends as I said, so thats not even an issue. Last week I put a bag over my head and right before I was done taping and finishing the job I stopped rethought about it and pussed out you one could say. I dont know where to go for help anymore. I know I need rehab but I come from a broken ass home and I dont think anyones willing to send me somewhere to get the help I need. I feel like an idiot most days. Im sick in the head and sick in general. Mind you im in my early early 20s and my liver/kidneys/bladder is already shot, sometimes I cant even piss right. I wish there was a miracle cure for things like this but theres not. Right now I feel like locking my door, eating a handful of pills but id rather it be peaceful and no pain. Ill stop there because this brings tears to my eyes thinking about my mess.
 
^ Sounds a lot like me. I haven't got any friends either... all my drug buddies are just casual acquaintances who don't really give a fuck about me. I'm also facing multiple criminal charges, I caught Hep C, and I got lots of other shit to deal with. I tried overdosing on paracetamol a few weeks ago (I knew it would be a slow and painful death, but at the time I didn't care), but that didn't work. It's amazing how hard it is to kill myself. Anyway, at least you want help and would like to go into rehab - that's a positive thing. I've pretty much given up. I don't want rehab, and I'm thinking of pulling out of my city's drug & alcohol service cos it hasn't been helping. Thinking of just continuing to use until I die an early death.
 
I want help, but I dont think anyone could help me. I went to a therapist(I was told substance abuse doctor) a few days ago, and the guy knew I was annoyed. I let him know it to. I just stared with my dilated bug eyes, was trying to be nice, but at the end I just let him know he was wasting my time and his time. Talking about shit I already know. What anxiety is(big duh), what benzos do(really?) blah blah. I dont know whats up with doctors these days. They could care less what kind of medicine they give you. Today when I went to my doctor that can give me medicine I told him the biggest mistake I made was being honest with him about abusing pills, drugs, drinking, and overdosing. I said in these exact words, "I know you think that im a drug addict, but im just trying to get real help that I need." He writes me a script for seroquel which im real reluctant to take as I take benzos, opiates, and amphetamines quite frequently, and sends me on my way. I dont get it. I literally dont know a soul that really cares too much about me other than my mom and dad as I said. I freak out over stupid things. When the drugs wear off im just a suicidal mess, and when I add alcohol to the mix it can get really, Really, fucked up. I dont know where the next step is. I blew all my money I got this week on some shitty ass drugs that are barely getting me high and im regretting it now. I dont know what to do about that one as im already in debt. So many people have used me for money, sex, ect ect. I almost feel like a whore, and a really trashy one at that but I dont know why. I should probably go get checked out again. It seems like every month im sick as fuck with something and can barely move around. I had to go get an HIV test a year ago, and im thinking maybe I should go do it again. Scary stuff. I feel you sweet p. Youre actually the only persons posts I read when im feeling down. I lurked here for months until now. I feel we are in the same boat but your drug problem seems a little worse than mine. I hope you and I both get better soon. :\:|

I hope i didnt fuck any of that up its late and i cant see to well.
 
Suicide is not a solution. stick it out. PERSEVERE! YOU never know what might happen. 2% chance is better than ZERO PERCENT. if you kill yourself you have zero percent chance. LIVE. FIGHT. OVERCOME!


FIGHT ON! Battle!

FIGHT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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NO NO N NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

DO not take the easy way out.

things might not get better. but they MIGHT.

Don't Give UP.

Suicide is the one thing you cannot undo.
 
Sweet P and other one reason to not kill yourself and continue living on is that you get to see another day. Yeah i know each day can sometimes be worse then the last (don't i fucking know it) but hey atleast it's another day and anything can happen. Ive gone from no reason to live at all to having a very good reason to live in a single fucking day many times :) . So it's not hopeless by any means no matter how dark things may seem.
 
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