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If I can give you one piece of advice

I've already tried all of that...Imean I have a great job, I go to a great school, I exercise 4 days a week, I eat well, take supplements including fish oil and 5-htp, and yet there is still that emptyness there that makes it seem like Im disconnected from everyone else.

I know that I should be fine, but I keep finding myself being that person in a group who is just 'there' physicaly, not mentaly. I want to, but it just seems impossible to me to try and connect with these people on a social level.

Last night I attempted something radical just to try and jump start my life, joining a fraternity. All week I psyched myself up for it and convinced myself that this was something i needed to do to get out of this little solitary corner of existance I'm. But the same thing happend that always does...I found myself just staring and thinking about all of these people and not actualy interacting with them. It seemed so easy for them, but to me, I just could not find the words to say, and the words I did think of seemed so boring and lacking any spark...It seemed pointless to me to make small talk in order to meet people. So I just did what I always do, I just went out on the deck and gazed out at the city skyline dreaming of something better...

Maybe social life just isnt for some people, but what kills me the most is I hate being alone more than anything else...and I'm stuck here
 
Someone touched on the idea of preexisting medical conditions, and I would like to say a few words on that. SH, the use of drugs does effect the way the brain works. Drugs can percipitate a minor or a major change in the balance of nuerotransmitters. The change could be for a short time, as in hours, or last a lifetime. It is very posssible that you have a underlying mental problem, and the drugs you took were a catalyst to reveal that problem. You need to consider that an evualation by a doctor may be a good idea in your case. If you know how everything works, why don't you try solving the great mysteries of life since you have 50 years of freedom? The way you are wording your post worries me a bit. You may have gained some greater understanding, gotten a different viewpoint via the drugs, but saying you are on a different level does not sound like a positive attitude. Since you have been having these issues for a while you say, and the fact that is does bother you, I think it would be a smart move on your part to seek some professional advice asap.
 
I still have creativity. I've done shrooms and x but never did cid. I completely understand seeing yourself different from other ppl. I do too. I call it the Morpheus syndrome :D Actually we are quite different though. Most ppl only use 10% of their brain their entire life, but we have opened pathways to uncharted realms of the mind.
 
i tend to feel that people who haven't tripped are incredibly narrow minded and shallow in their thoughts

True upto a point. Not to sound patronising but as i got older i talked less about drugs to ppl who dont take them. I can connect with many of them now bc they are members of the same species.

To me what u r all sayin is similar to ppl who have never left there hometown, or read a book, we all have different experiences, we r all very different and very similar, but what connects us is communication, emotions, understanding (plus a shitload more) and love - with some. I now have friends who use and friends who dont. If you just wanna talk about drugs, raves, music - then expect the rest of society to not have much to say back to you.

Drugs have the capacity to make you see what lies inside you both good n bad, they have the capability to destroy and to be creative. Whether you would have found this out in time without using them is debatable unless you have another you somewhere who hasnt used drugs to compare.

People are what they are; i no longer alienate myself from the rest of society cuz i use drugs. I put up with ignorant and violent ppl who have used the same drugs as me - why didnt it do the same to them???? i can show u some pretty ignorant fucks who have used similar drugs to you. Many of whom take 10 E's in one go, drop acid like its sweets, snort coke as long as they dont buy it - a lot of those havent had any fuck-ups, some just fucked up other ppl. not everyone will gain elightenment or get psychosis or feel alienated. Everyone is wired different.

If they dont fit into your values then you make the decision if you want to connect with them, you may find you were wrong about your first impressions. I found that i was wrong lots of times, still am and i can be a pretty good judge of character. Thats whats facinating to me about ppl - they arent all they appear to be - they maybe more once you really "connect" with em.
 
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Exactly. We are all the same species. And the mad hungarian does right to say you should seek evaluation. People CAN be connected with, but maybe you are not seeking that right now.
SEek and ye shall find.
-Some guy
 
yeah thats how one of my friends is now. he use to have this really energetic outgoing personality, but after doing lots of acid (40 days straight was his longest run) he just seemed to loose all that magic. like the way he talks for one, really scares me. the way he talks is so simple, and to the point, theres really no explanation to what he says, and when he does explain, it is so far fetched from reality that it is hard to understand what hes talkign about. i just feel really bad about it all, i wish i knew the same guy i did a few years back.
 
Now I know this is a little strange, but I need to tell someone about this...its been botheirng me for a while...but I hope that someone knows what I'm talking about....

ShamanRemixed- your first post shocked me sooooo much. It is EXATLY the same as me. Everything u wrote i could relate with, It was like i wrote that and its even worded the same as would have done. Except i think im in worse further along stage than u. I mean, not only can i not connect w/people, i feel like their brains fuction completly different than mine. It feels like they know the rules about living your life normally and some how i missed learning that. I am not like n/e one i've ever seen.(except 4 u mayb)
I am not scarded of ANY thing, honestly, b/c inside my head is the scariest place in the world. I know that sounds crazy(but i sometimes think i am). When u wrote about how u know why people and everything is the way it is(2 summerize) THis is exactly like me! that is my biggest problem and i can't figure it out. I also have no personality, no "spark" or motivation. I feel no pleasure. Because i know why everything is the way it is it makes me hate life, and think its a waist of time 2 even bother liveing. I hate people who don't do drugs b/c i find them ignorant, boring and to blind 2 see the world for what it really is. And i hate thinking this way, but i can't help it.
I never ever thought n/e one elese thought that way like me. I really want 2 discuse this more with u if u wanted 2. B/c i also don't know what 2 do n/e more. Sorry if this all sounds crazy, i think im more whacked right now than i thoght.
 
First off I have to agree with what trippinspiral said, after a hard trip I feel like I've been through such an intense experience I can't imagine doing one for the next year - and I still see the experience as very positive.

I have experienced a lot of miscommunication, people not understanding where I'm coming from. Some of my perspectives are from tripping, some are just me. The thing I learnt from candyflipping was that I had this incredible awareness from the trip, like standing under an ocean of a waterfall of wisdom or knowledge - being bombarded by so much on so many levels yet I knew that within this chaos there was a perfect order. I felt straighter than I had ever felt in my life, and it was as if my perspective had just been altered by the smallest hair. Yet that fraction was everything.
Coming down I remember saying to my friend that the person that I usually was could not hold on to that knowledge. But what I remember is that even being able to "see" the reasons why people are who they are, and who I am, hasn't helped a bit, until I have slowly learnt to be at peace with all I know. My mission in life isn't to have the most knowledge, it is to come out of my ignorance and find true happiness. If understanding why people are doesn't allow you to accept them, then you have to go deeper within yourself.
Find out what it is that you fear, what you are adverse to - or what it is that you crave. Like most people I've learnt these lessons the hard way, and I don't mean to preach. It's just that I've been and am still working through the feeling of being apart from everyone else, I know the feeling of isolation and of misunderstanding. At the end of the day we have to remember our goals. Be it knowledge, power, money, happiness or otherwise. We have to really know what we want. Shut the voices off, shut the scripts that have been running in our heads - that's all the past.

You can't shut out awareness forever, and sometimes it's really fucking scary, but you can teach your self to look that fear in the eye.
It isn't until I take the time to be with myself, in quiet and just observe my thoughts, the sensations of my body do I realise how much tension I have stored up in me. Most of that is baggage that I've stored up from the mental turmoil that I've beated into myself. So now I take the time out to just observe myself, for once in my fucking life I just watch myself, feel what I am and try to be cool with it. Because if I'm not cool, then life will be a fucking mess. So yeah we can look at people out there and say "they don't know anything about themselves" or whatever, but what it comes down to is us. We as individuals have to live with ourselves day in and day out no one else can ever really know the intensity of the wars we fight within, no one else can know the measure of how far we have to go.
The comparison of people in this way is futile and of no use to the goal of finding peace or happiness and it sounds like you guys want it just as bad as me.
 
ShamanRemixed said:
I've already tried all of that...Imean I have a great job, I go to a great school, I exercise 4 days a week, I eat well, take supplements including fish oil and 5-htp, and yet there is still that emptyness there that makes it seem like Im disconnected from everyone else.

I know that I should be fine, but I keep finding myself being that person in a group who is just 'there' physicaly, not mentaly. I want to, but it just seems impossible to me to try and connect with these people on a social level.

Last night I attempted something radical just to try and jump start my life, joining a fraternity. All week I psyched myself up for it and convinced myself that this was something i needed to do to get out of this little solitary corner of existance I'm. But the same thing happend that always does...I found myself just staring and thinking about all of these people and not actualy interacting with them. It seemed so easy for them, but to me, I just could not find the words to say, and the words I did think of seemed so boring and lacking any spark...It seemed pointless to me to make small talk in order to meet people. So I just did what I always do, I just went out on the deck and gazed out at the city skyline dreaming of something better...

Maybe social life just isnt for some people, but what kills me the most is I hate being alone more than anything else...and I'm stuck here
Click to expand...

I havent done LSD before and I can totally relate to what you are saying and how you are feeling. Relax bud. You are very capable of relating to people. :)

Everyone is similar on the inside. The entire human race feels nervous, embarassed, scared, out of place on a daily basis. Its just that people develop ways to mask these feelings. They create a public persona or an image to make themselves appear more entertaining, funny, popular, more fun to be around or whatever and it covers what they are really feeling. People arent these "images" or public personas they create, although most people dont know themselves, and think that they are this created persona. Its funny because everyone has this notion of "normal," and somehow we feel the need to relate to it, so we act accordingly. People who dont are seen as "weird" or uncivilized.

Think about this--- Every single person thinks about sex about every (conscious) minute. But people who talk about sex a lot are seen as perverted. Why? Because people who talk about sex a lot arent conforming to "normal" like everyone else and they are letting their true feelings out, which is seen as "weird," awkward, perverse, uncivilized etc.

Its a developed skill, some people are more developed than others. Often times, people who become wrapped up into discovering themselves lose touch with creating a public image and have difficulty relating to people because they are intouch with their true feelings( psycs can do this). :\

If you want some advice, quit using drugs as an excuse and quit mistaking people for their public personas. A lot of the guys you see smiling and laughing are feeling just as alone as you are.
 
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I don't know. I understand the feeling and how you might have gotten it, but the thing is that I see it as completely arrogant and delusional. Yes, you might think you know more and that your brain has evolved through you using drugs. You can look down on everyone who hasn't tripped, that they just don't understand, that they are closed-minded etc.

While tripping the trip seems soooo important, and the first trip I had was in terms of changing my personality mostly towards the good. For a week or so I also thought that LSD was the answer to all the problems of the world. I can understand how someone can murmur something about how we all are one, how we are just reflections of our minds, how we don't have any bodies and are only floating around in our minds, how drugs transport us to other dimensions etc.

Stop and think about it for a while. While you may be totally and utterly convinced that this is true (and it might be - though I sincerely doubt that), how can you expect someone not taking drugs to believe it? It sounds like delusional nonsence, and by saying that "he doesn't understand" you disqualify yourself from any valid discussions. It only makes you sound like a delusional acid-head or whatever.

I read something on BL a while ago which was very true, I think it's a qoute by Dalai Lama: Before enlightenment, chop wood get water. After enlightenment, chop wood get water.

Seriously: What good comes from you knowing/thinking that you know all and just sitting at home doing nothing, tripping, not wanting to do anything? Sure, you might feel that you need just that one more trip and it will all come to place, or that you are too wise to talk to the uneducated masses, but seriously. What good will come from that? What use is there in knowing the secrets of life, time travel and the universe if you aren't capable to communicate with other people or live in the world we live in, no matter how shitty it seems?

Anyways, my suggestion is to lay off all drugs, at least all psychedelics (incl. weed). Also if the problems don't go away, see a doctor. Maybe you do have some psychological problems that you need to resolve before you can move on. Do what makes you feel good - obviously laying at home unmotivated doesn't make you feel good, else you wouldn't have posted. Learn how to coo kdelicious food. Something :)

Oh, and I am sorry if I offended anyone by this post. When I read all the replies to this post I just felt I had to get these things out. One thing that IMHO is very harmful to the psychedelic (and general drug using) community is the arrogance and feeling of being better/knowing more than others, which is quite prevalant and IMHO totally destructive.
 
Parre well said. I feel alienated as well from most people because of my personality which includes some things psychedelics might have put there. I still don't want to think I'm better or more enlightened than most people. But I still do sometimes. I just feel like I want to move to Siberia and fuck the society. But that's not the answer either. I wouldn't be happy because everyone needs human contact and other people's approval.
People need someone to relate to, and it can be hard if a psychedelic experience is the thing you want to talk about, because it's a personal world and no-one but you know how it feels to you.

We're all alone here together. Let's just try to understand each other.
 
i some times feel like i am dead.
emotionless and empty, a hard unit.

i imagine i would have once felt very different about my life. this is B4 i felt the need to gain enlightenment by artificially altering the chemistry of my brain.

maybe we hard trippers who think we look down upon the "normal" person happily going about their daily routine from our position of uhhmmmm "enlightenment" are really just jealous. Jealous that life still has meaning to them. but damn it we've gone straight to the source, i payed my thirty five bucks for my eccie and now im gonna have more spiritual enlightement and joy than you can poke a stick at. Theres no time for personality anymore its not necissary

Drugs remove the need to feel like your belonging to a higher purpose.

so then what is the purpose what can we believe in? personally i made the choice to beleive in music and art. because to me it gives meaning that no drug can ever take away. seeing people react to the things ive created tells me never to be afraid what ive become.
 
ShamanRemixed you remind me of allot of trippy hippys i know that have a deeply arrogant and dismissive attitude/personality, believing they are members of an exclusive little club that anyone who hasn't tripped would understand.

You say that you know why everyone is the way they are etc etc.

BRAINSTORM!

most people with an ounce of perception understands why people are the way they are. Thats why not everyone gets on. But that shouldn't stop you connecting with people. Only 10% of communication is verbal. Its about being human. We have evolved visible emotions. I don't get on a pedestal when i see someone laugh and mentally connect it with happiness.

You don't connect with anyone because you are dismissive, you would be alot happier if you didnt prejudge people or pressume anything. There is a reason for everything, every action has a reaction. Its not black and white, tis shades of grey. Having your sences scrammbled a few times doesnt make you a god. :p
 
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Well the thing is everyone is different. Everyone trippes different.

All of my friends have tripped plenty of times and I've seen them all change a little in different ways.

Two of my friends became really creative in an insane way they can come up with some wild ideas and they are both really smart but a little crazy.

two other kids I once chilled with became weirder and less social.One kid just dissapeared you still see him around but hardly he doesn't talk to anyone and if you see him and try talking to him he gives you weird looks and says a few words then tryes hard to get away. The other kids just got a temper and became quite and weird.He eventually stopped coming around too.

anouther one of my friends has both mixed in he is really creative and funny and smart but he hardly comes out he just sits in him room and watches tv and shit.But when he hangs out he is an awesome person everyone likes him

Anouther one of my friends said it didn't effect him one bit and he is doing best of all has a great job girl and he hardly chills anymore because he has no time.

For me I am half and half with you I can't relate to people I feel like I no why they are who they are and can't make conversation easy. but people still like me just because I am a nice person and can make people laugh but they all say i'm a little nuts. but I dunno I have mixed feelings about it.
 
I know where you are coming from shaman. The thing is, people aren't just what you see. It is hard to explain, as some people really are what you see, but most people as you watch them interact and whatnot are doing so how most people on this world have learned to interact. The way these people are acting around you and other people there is totally different than they would act around their best friend or girlfriend, or mom or dad. You see one facet of them...most likely at a party they are all striving to be seen as "cool". Well, what you see is their "cool" persona and you may know they are putting it on, but you don't know who they really are or what they are truly thinking/feeling. I dunno i am pretty high so this is another ramble but what I am trying to say is that even if you think you got alot of people figured out i guarantee that if you knew them better they would surprise you. I myself have done many psychedelic substances and i do feel a certain disconnection towards people sometimes, but then i have my friends who have tripped with me throughout the years and feel the same way so that we actually have a connection about being disconnected ..kinda funny.
 
Jesus h christ

TLDR!!! (Too long didn't read) except for the beginning

To me it seems like the reason you can't connect with people probably has more to do with being above average intelligence, rather than having used psychedelics. Search google for "gifted" and you'll see what I mean.

I think that psychedelics are really interesting and can give you a unique insight into this existence. But I think you need to step back and realize that this new understanding of things could have come as a result of intense thinking, not necessarily while under the influence of a psychedelic.

The drugs just served as a catalyst to get you into a particular frame of mind.
 
this thread is so BEAUTIFUL! anyone else know what i mean? (i'm not high by the way :) )
great advice, nice insights.
there's an entire philosophy behind what you become *after* you've taken drugs. you're a different person, whether obvious or too subtle to notice, for each drug try and for how frequent you do the drug again.

i squandered most of my summer smoking weed by myself, and it's like i have to start from square one as far as social skills go.
dxm blew me out of the water. going thru a bad trip like that... i couldn't even remember what my family's faces looked like at one point... it can put a spin on things that shouldn't be spun, ya know?

but everything you guys have posted is TOTALLY valid and enriching; we really all can learn from each other.

i once read in my intro. psych. book that depressed people might be that way because they have too realistic an outlook on life. it's true! the happiest people are or choose to be somewhat ignorant. drugs show a lot of truth.

hang in there buddy. la vida e bella! i'm depressed as hell but i'm still going strong! hooray for the positive aspects of drugs, and shame on them for the unpleasant residue they can leave.
 
Rik: Play nice or I'll play nasty!

This thread is a very valuable philosophical discussion. I'll agree with ff3mwg almost entirely. To draw a HUGE generalisation, depressed people are those who realise the reality of the world in which we live. Which is, a very ugly and depressing world. Those who remain happy, are either those who have achieved happiness through understanding and working to change that depressing and ugly world into a better one. Or, sadly, the majority, who remain happy only through their ignorance or inability to appreciate the reality of the world in which we live.

I find it rather hard, personally to be happy and content with my life when I'm assailed by the nasty hard facts that a substantial proportion of the world doesn't have enough food or fresh water to live. That the environment's fucked and our greed is making it more so. Et cetera.

I've found psychadelics, while they have perhaps made it more difficult to interact with people on the levels of the more mundane, have perhaps taught me enough about perception, and consciousness to make losing the desire to talk bullshit about matters mundane with people who like Brittney Spears and fashion and all that crap.

I've not found that my spark of creativity has died as a result of psychadelics, but it's certainly made it harder for me (as a wanna be writer) to sit down and just churn out page after page of creativity. I can still do it, I've proved that to myself many a time, but it doesn't flow quite as it used to in my more alcoholic and less lysergic days.

Anyway. On with the show.

-plaz out-
 
plazma:

But wouldn't you say that there is a path inbetwen? I can agree that the world today is an utter shithole, and 1984 is rapidly approaching. I can agree that the life I live is probably pointless and that it sucks.

On the other hand, the world is so beautiful as it is. To see the first snow fall on a cold autumn day, watching the golden leaves on the trees illuminated by morning sun. That is beauty.

My life may be pointless, but if it is, then why shouldn't I live it and be reasonably happy? We all have our down periods, but I would not volounteer to be depressed. This doesn't mean that I cannot see reality for what it is. To a certain extenct I may ignore reality, since there really is not a god damn thing I can do to change it, and as cynical as this may sound: The kinds in Africa that are starving are not starving in front of my face. There is nothing I can do to help them, so why should I let it bring me down?

I have been depressed, I've thought that psychedelics would solve everything. I've done my share of drugs, though not a lot compared to many others on BL I still have my experience with mind-altering substances. I've come to realise that no matter how fucked up the world may seem, it's still beautiful. Even if our lives are pointless, and even if there is so much shit going on in the world, why should that deny one the right to be happy? I won't solve the "big" questions of life anyway, so I might just as well live along and see the positive nature in things negative, be nice, polite, funny, be me, and hope that I will live a long and happy life.

Life is too short to be depressed and to just sit and dwell on the big questions IMHO. Life is out there to be lived and experienced. The only thing good coming out of depressions in my experience is the ability to write great surrealistic short storys with a depressive tone, which usually turn out great :). That is much harder to do when feeling generally content ;).
 
I don't know I've tripped alot and I can connect fine to people. It may just be you need to find people you can connect with. You won't "connect" with everyone, some people you will somepeople you won't.
 
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