happyginny
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2008
- Messages
- 42
As the title says, I did a stupid thing a few weeks ago. I sliced my arm, trying to open my vein. I had just little blades from a disposable razor. I kept digging deeper into my arm trying to find the stupid vein but only succeeded in giving myself a nice ugly laceration. I saw two tendons and meat, never the vein. I was in the area you would think it would be, but i guess there was a reason i was unsuccessful. I did it in the bath tub. It never bled like I thought it would. It stung, when put under water, worse than it hurt. Like I said, it did not bleed as much as i thought and i could tell i was not going to bleed to death. so i took a bath. I didnt have any guaze wrap so I tied a sock around my arm to try and hold the cut together.
When my son got home (he is 23) I told him and showed him. I knew it would need stitches. This was about 6 hours after I cut it. Part of me felt like such an immense failure. How can i fail at even THAT?
He agreed not to tell the dr and i went to the er to have it sewed up. Gave then a bullshit story about being on a metal ladder taking down the christmas decorations and slipping. Said it was an older ladder and had some piece of metal sticking out and it dug into my arm. I guess because it was like gauged in that it looked like that is what really happened. i had just kept pushing that stupid flimsy blade as hard as i could and digging into my arm thinking I would eventually hit the vein. it was evidently off to the side. the dr had said i was lucky i didnt catch it over there cause that would have been bad. I was deep enough, just not, lined up, I guess i would call it.
I need 4 sutures inside my arm and 9 outside to close it. so not a really long cut.
I do see a therapist. I was having an insurance issue (state coverage) where on Dec 31 my insurance ended. No dr visits, no therapist, no meds. So cold turkey on my depression medication, fentanyl and others. I just kind of crashed i guess. Had been sick as can be for a couple of days, from not having the fentanyl i know now.
I am seeing a psychiatrist for the first time later this month. they are trying to get my meds straight for the depression. This was in the works before my attempt. He can do combinations of different depression medications my therapist said, as well as hopefully something for my anxiety .
I don't think I want to LIE to him or to my therapist. I am NOT suicidal now. I am assuming he will ask that. Sometimes my therapist asks, if I have been having a bad week and have an emotional session, she will mention it. I feel like I should tell both of them about it, but am afraid that I will be admitted to the hospital or something and placed on that 72 hour hold.
Would that possibly happen? I have seen my therapist just once since it happened. I attempted on Jan 9. Saw my therapist Tuesday. Does anyone know what the legal rule, or whatever it is called, AFTER an attempt?
Thanks for listening, I have found this to be a wonderful site, and this board especially, seems to call to me almost daily. I do not post a lot, but reading it alone often brings me some kind of...peace?....calmness??
When my son got home (he is 23) I told him and showed him. I knew it would need stitches. This was about 6 hours after I cut it. Part of me felt like such an immense failure. How can i fail at even THAT?
He agreed not to tell the dr and i went to the er to have it sewed up. Gave then a bullshit story about being on a metal ladder taking down the christmas decorations and slipping. Said it was an older ladder and had some piece of metal sticking out and it dug into my arm. I guess because it was like gauged in that it looked like that is what really happened. i had just kept pushing that stupid flimsy blade as hard as i could and digging into my arm thinking I would eventually hit the vein. it was evidently off to the side. the dr had said i was lucky i didnt catch it over there cause that would have been bad. I was deep enough, just not, lined up, I guess i would call it.
I need 4 sutures inside my arm and 9 outside to close it. so not a really long cut.
I do see a therapist. I was having an insurance issue (state coverage) where on Dec 31 my insurance ended. No dr visits, no therapist, no meds. So cold turkey on my depression medication, fentanyl and others. I just kind of crashed i guess. Had been sick as can be for a couple of days, from not having the fentanyl i know now.
I am seeing a psychiatrist for the first time later this month. they are trying to get my meds straight for the depression. This was in the works before my attempt. He can do combinations of different depression medications my therapist said, as well as hopefully something for my anxiety .
I don't think I want to LIE to him or to my therapist. I am NOT suicidal now. I am assuming he will ask that. Sometimes my therapist asks, if I have been having a bad week and have an emotional session, she will mention it. I feel like I should tell both of them about it, but am afraid that I will be admitted to the hospital or something and placed on that 72 hour hold.
Would that possibly happen? I have seen my therapist just once since it happened. I attempted on Jan 9. Saw my therapist Tuesday. Does anyone know what the legal rule, or whatever it is called, AFTER an attempt?
Thanks for listening, I have found this to be a wonderful site, and this board especially, seems to call to me almost daily. I do not post a lot, but reading it alone often brings me some kind of...peace?....calmness??