I was off medication for like a year before my mother just went and said, he's having an episode, so these authorities come to my house and I panic, and the panic reproduced all the symptoms of psychosis. I was taking mushrooms and I probably presented really weird to mum a few times while tripping.
Long story:
The reason for the anti-psychotics is because apparently free associating with jokes out of sheer boredom, thinking for yourself, and getting really excited in an attempt to feel good about life, is not only stupid, but PSYCHOTIC, ...oh no!
I appealed to the Review Board, who deals with patient disagreements, on two occasions, on both occasions they went with what protected their jobs the most, since they think I had objective episodes - that's what the case file said, when all was doing was talking fast about some shit I wanted life to be (ie. you think everything is potentially imagination? Geez what a delusion, what a formal thought disorder, etc.), or I was bored, and I had panic disorder, and every time I was confronted with authority I panicked, so I'd just walk in there and panic. "Oh look, a thought disorder, he can't express what he's thinking." Apparently every time I came off the medication I had another "episode", which is like, dropping a spoon and getting slightly angry, so they just ruled in the psychiatrist's favor since if they overruled him I could just get off meds, and they'd be responsible for my squeezing of a stress ball really hard when the psychosis returned.
I think of them as bureaucratic bunch of mediocre assholes. They don't actually give a shit about me, what they give a shit about is not losing their jobs.
Do you see / get what I mean?
I was just trying to pursue something. I found some things out. It's horrible. Please, show a little sympathy.
