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  • AADD Moderators: andyturbo

Idle Ramblings!

Note: Here is Horsey's Internet Etiquette (its halfway down the page).
One thing I'd like to elaborate upon:
Someone who has "modErator" under their name instead of "bluelighter" does not need to be looked up to! I'm in absolutely no way better or smarter than any of you because I am a Mod now! The same goes for the other Mods around here.. I hope no one feels, particularly newbies, that they have to be careful what they say to Mods, anymore than they do with everyone else. Nor should anyone feel that Mods should be more highly regarded!
I'm just a bluelighter who makes sure everyone else doesn't fuck around too much! There are people around here who are bluelighters and have been using this board much longer than me.. and have made more quality posts and compiled / given everyone access to more drug information than I could ever put together!
I don't want to be looked up to !!!
So if you want to tell me anything, including how much you think I suck ~ go ahead! email or icq me! I can take abuse! (not an invite for smartasses
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like my friend Morpheusdaq)
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Mr. Horse, i dont think people expect EVERYONE to agree with every single thing they say, the point IM trying to make is that there are diplomatic and intelligent ways of getting your point across OKAY?????
I am well aware as a 24 year health care worker who has seen the worst side of people more times than she cares to think about, that the world isnt made up of fluffy couches and magical fairies and i dont need this pointed out to me.
Freedom of speech is great, but along with freedom of speech should come the maturity and diplomacy skills that i, for some bizarre reason, would have thought was important in moderating ......
The point of messageboards and freedom of speech is to have intelligent discussions with people and yes, disagreeing sometimes because that makes it interesting.
And i guess thats my 2 cents, for what its worth, i certainly dont expect anyone to give a toss but im pretty pissed of myself right now ......
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~peace out~
 
i find it hard to beleive that people do take stuff personally over BL and actually let it worry them...
daym all you people are just words on a screen neways.
 
why is everyone taking everything so goddamn personally????
I totally agree with what you are saying sunflower. Again, why does everything have to be taken so seriously here?? Take it with a grain of salt, if something pisses you off, feel free to back yourself up but just dont let it get to you too much (i admit that I should take my own advice) just take some deep breaths ok. I dont understand what all this hooha is about? What did I say to piss you off so much???
i dunno, i'm lost. wtf?
 
In one's life, and in the many situations that we are placed in, we often experience things that have a significant impact on our lives, not only in it's course, but also in the way we think and feel about many things. Through my work as a Youth Worker in the early 90's I've had a taste of the cruel harsh world we live in - states of desperation that we as people are often forced into and have to deal with.
As many wet behind the ear Youth Workers with Uni training under their belt, I was ready to tackle the world - ready to make it into the best place to live in. I was full of ideals and beliefs, I was full of strategies and beliefs - what I lacked was reality and boy was I in for the shock of my life. Mind you the harshness of the world was not totaly alien to me, having grown up with physical abuse from my father as a norm. But still I went forth in total ignorance, maybe it was my tender age or maybe it was the walls that I had placed up that would not allow me to recognise the hurt of my past.
My first job in the area was working with young people on supervision orders - kids with one foot in a detention centre. The first time I was attacked by one of these young people it was my first rude awakening - subsequent attacks and having a needle placed up towards you when working in a needle exchange opened my eyes to a different world. My passion for helping young people has not subsided, but strengthened with every incident - never thinking what dickheads they are, but more what makes a 14 year old kid turn so voilent. What pains such an individual to react in such a way. What drices an individual to the point where drug abuse has lead them down a track of dependence. Do we dismiss such people as no hopers, do we ignore their cries for help no matter how obscure such cries are? Questions I constantly aske myself and questions that constantly drive me - make me the person that I am.
Such experiences has left my with an open mind, it has taught me to listen to people - no-one does anythnig just for the sake of doing it. We fall into a greater trap on boards such as these that we assume to understand people, understand where they are coming from without any further queries. They are words without emotion as fat tony as stated - clarify before you attack. Attack in a well thought out and mature fashion and why lower yourself to anyone's childish flames - hold your head high knowing that you are above this behaviour
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Anyway enough from me
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Another rambling brought to you hastey
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Sucker love is known to swing. Prone to cling and waste these things. Pucker up for heavens sake. There's never been so much at stake.
 
OK here is a rambling directed at the mods.
Dont close good threads. I couldnt believe that the RATM thread got closed this week. I thought it was the most intersting thing on the board for a while and then all of a sudden it was 'bye bye thread'. For no good reason either. Let threads die a natural death, unless it is someone posting complete and utter rubbish. Why exactly did you close that for Finn?
Btw im not trying to cause trouble here ( im sure haste, mikeysammy and tarsarlan will probably be pretty quick to disagree
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) but thats been buggin me all week long.
Not that there is anythign wrong with trouble/arguments/debating. It is a hell of a lot more intersting to read than another 'i changed my name cause im a schizo post' (no offense to any schizos out there, im one myself).
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I'm so bored with the USA.
 
Has anyone ever had or still has a burning passion within their soul for something that they really cannot put a finger on - or more to the point, cannot explain it's origin or meaning. Yes hastey has gone completely mad hhehehehe
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But before you assign me with my level of madness, let me explain.
For many years, for as far back as I can remember I have had a burning passion for all things celtic - in particular a passion for the Irish struggle, it's people and it's culture. First of all I am from Greek/Macedonian background and I have traced my family footsteps as far back as I could - and in this time period there is no link to a celtic culture that I can gather.
I am fascinated by Celtic/Gaelic culture - in particular Irish gaelic as stated above, but my interest does extend to also include gaelic culture in Scotland and Wales. The language to me fills me with emotion and fire - a poetic fabric expressing the passion of a people. Coupled together with traditional style gaelic tunes, it is perfect food for my soul. It's lyrical tones, atmospheric backgrounds and hauting melodies encite a vision of a people long forgotten. A culture rich in a tapestry of music, art and folklore - taking a person on a journey of discovery - many times discovering the very spiritual being that we all posses but for many reasons do not believe.
One of my goals in life is to get to Ireland - when I don't know - but it is something I feel I must do. Why? If I knew I would tell you, all I know is that in some point in my life I must make the prilgrimage - like an islamic soul is drawn towards Mecca. For all I know, once I get there, it could mean nothing and have no bearing on what I am and where I'm going - or produce any relavations on who I am and why things have happened in my life. Understanding this possibility I still know within myself that something is drawing me there - something spiritual that I have yet to fully understand. Through meditation and inner self exploration I have been able to tap into a part of me than is not readily available, or shut out to me for what ever reasons they may be. It's this soul searching, for the want of a better word, that has made me the person that I am. After my divorce I became a very spiteful and angry person, and this lasted for two years after this event. But I have slowly rebuilt my spirit and re-lit the fire of passion that drives us all to move on in life. This driving force and passion for Gaelic culture has now become so clear and defined - the only missing piece to the puzzle is origin, maybe this is the purpose of me visiting Ireland - to obtain the final piece of a puzzle.
So now you may assign my level of insanity hehehe
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Another rambling brought to you be a "very out there" hastey hehee
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If you were in my heart, I surely not break you. If you were beside me, and my love will take you. I'll keep you in safety, forever protect you. I'll hide you away from the world you rejected. I hide you
[This message has been edited by haste (edited 05 November 2000).]
 
Anyone else have some interesting in depth ramblings to share and at the same time restore my faith that this forum is not full of utter bullshit?
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"I don't need no arms around me, I don't need no drugs to calm me. I have seen the writing on the wall, Don't think I need anything at all. No don't think I'll need anything at all. All in all it was all just bricks in the wall. All in all you were all just bricks in the wall" - Roger Waters 1979
 
I agree. Too many threads are being closed down just because certain moderators want to show how all powerfull they are (read: how
big their dicks are).
Personally I love to see debate, and I love to see (humourous) bullshit talk. If people are interested in the thread and want to post in it then who the fuck are you to stop them doing that?
Would you butt in and stop two people's conversation in the street because you weren't interested in it, or didn't agree with it?
Then why do it here? And don't give me the bullshit about messageboard space because I know how things work and I'm not stoopid.
I feel better now that I have that off my chest. I wonder how long till my post is deleted or until this thread is shut down?
I'll begin my too many chiefs and not enough indians rant tomorrow if I have the time.
 
One last thing. I think that most of you mods and admins do a good job. It's just one or two rotten apples that really fuck up the bunch.
I'm going to bed. Go Blues!
 
Ok time for my bitch too. I have noticed lately that certain threads have been closed because of them mainly being bullshit. Like for example the one about Suss BLters.
Now maybe I'm wrong here, but was there really a good reason to close that thread??? Don't give me that crap about it being a bullshit thread, or the fact that it could have offended anyone, cause no one was offended by it. At least Tarsarlan had the balls to open it up again.
Why was the RATM thread closed?????????? I really don't think it was neccesary to close it. A lot of people on here liked them.
Also with people bitching about people putting up posts about them turning 500 SO WHAT Let people do that if they want to. At least they're not hurting anyone.
I knew this was coming. That's why I didn't want this forum in the first place, cause I knew there would be major problems with closing threads.
 
Sorry for ruining your thread Hastey. I did really enjoy reading your thoughts and opinions.
And where the fuck did you disappear to at Green Ant? The party was just starting...
 
Thanks Tarsarlan
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Psyentist get over it
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Pekkie - have you bothered to read any of the previous posts in this thread by me - I think not - please take your critism and post them somewhere else - this thread is not about having a winge about closing threads. Am I supressing free speech - FUCK YEAH - get over it and move on. Unless you have some thought provoking discussion or would like to share experiences in your life, please stay out of this thread - I don't want it turned into a winge session.
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"I don't need no arms around me, I don't need no drugs to calm me. I have seen the writing on the wall, Don't think I need anything at all. No don't think I'll need anything at all. All in all it was all just bricks in the wall. All in all you were all just bricks in the wall" - Roger Waters 1979
 
Ok now that I've had someone jump down my throat, I'm just going to put down a few points.
1: I do realise that this wasn't the right thread to whinge and complain in, and I'm sorry for that.
2: Go ahead and suppress free speech. It doesn't make much of a difference to me. I'm still going to say what I believe.
3: Maybe next time I'll just keep my thoughts to myself. It's safer that way.
BTW I don't mean any of this in a personal way either, even if it may seem that way.
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I have been liberated into the light
[This message has been edited by pekkie (edited 15 November 2000).]
 
haste: Sorry to see this thread drift away from you original intentions...
To pull it back I have something to add in reference to you post about Celtic beliefs.
I just finished reading a fascinating book called "Eternal Echoes" by Jonathon O'Donahugue (Spelling might be wrong sorry).
Essentially it was about the human characteristic of "longing". The longing to be with people, the longing for a place in space or time etc.
The discussion of longing was related back to Celtic beliefs and traditions and from what you said above sounds like something you might get a lot out of reading.
When I first saw the book it really grabbed my attention since I had just read your earlier posts in this thread and I had started to question why I had joined Bluelight. But it also got me because I had been questioning a lot about myself, who I am, what I wanted, what I was doing about it etc...
Now a little of my opinion about all the recent shenanigans...
I guess my first reason for joining Bluelight was for learning. But gradually over the couple of months I have been here my reasons have changed. I have met some people at the meetups and also talked to some more on ICQ.
I started the Jungle Drum and Bass lovers thread to see who was as passionate about the music as me. Unfortunately that seems to be slipping away despite the initial enthusiasm. I was really excited with it at first, however I feel now its just become a place for me to brag about my new vinyl, which is not what I wanted...
One thing that might explain some of the tension that has gone down recently is stress from exams. I know when I used to be at uni examtime turned me into a different person.
I have faith in Bluelight, its the best internet forum I have seen. Maybe all of us need to step back a bit and checkout the new FAQ forum at the top of the main page. Read through some of them and remind ourselves why we are here.
chill
raw
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"That was Scrumptious!"
 
Thanks for the reply Raw and I'll have to check out that book - sounds like my kind of book
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Wow - the past few of months have had a great impact on my life - in particular the past couple of weeks.
Ever wandered aimlessly through life wondering when something significant is going to happen in your life that will impact it's direction. I have spent the past few years in a state of limbo, my only saving grace being my son and my friends. It is when you least expect it, and from out of no-where, that something or someone will come into your life and have such an impact on you that it gives you a new lease on life. I have been blessed three times in my life by people that have positive impacts in my life - all through showing me the true essence to life and love. The first, I have mentioned previously, being my son.
It is through him that I have learnt to appreciate the simple things in life. I love children, they are pure innocence and good - appreciating things that us adults take for granted or have long forgotten. We fall into the trap of being so caught up in our lives, and it's trials and tribulations. We spend our lives chasing the pre-ordained expectations that society place on us that we tend to forget the bueaty of nature around us and the love of our friends. My son has brought me back to basics and taught me to appreciate these things
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Going through a divorce is a tough ordeal at the best of times, but dealing with losing full contact with your son is a heart breaker. I went through a period of being withdrawn within myself, stewing in my own self pity. It's much easier to do this than have the courage to face your ordeal and move on. Then an Anjele came into my life and lifted my spirits and opened my eyes. Through her loving friendship and support I began the careful process of healing my heart and putting my life into perspective. For years I did this as a Youth Worker, helping other people through the process of coping, understanding, dealing and moving on - but when it's yourself in the picture, everything becomes so abstract. Anjele helped me put everything into perspective - put sense into the jigsaw puzzle that I saw my life as. For this I have the uttmost for her and am indebted to her forever. She has taught me true friendship and I love her deeply for it
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I know and I am comforted in the fact that no matter where we go in life, and no matter how far apart we may be due to varying factors, that our friendship will always remain strong and faithful.
The third person in my life is my beautiful sunflower, who has taught me to love and care again. She has accepted me for who I am, with all my faults, and made me feel special. She has brought hope to my life, she has brought direction and meaning to everything that I do. As much as we might deny it, we all crave for the love and closeness of someone special - we all long to be held and to feel secure. Going through what I have you tend to feel that love is something that is a long lost state - not a reality. You become bitter and very sceptical of people that might enter your life - you know how it is, if it's this good then there must be a catch. I'm sooo glad I don't think like this anymore - whether it be for loving someone or just for friendships. Life's too short to be bitter and sceptical, life too short to be alone - with everythnig we do there is an element of risk, a chance of being hurt. But it is better to have loved than not at all - sounds corny I know, but I really believe it. I have always said - I'd rather regret the things I've done in my life, than regret not having done them. I could not be any happier at the momment and I look forward to the years ahead of me whatever they will bring. Thank sweety - you mean the world to me
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Once again haste has rambled on and I thank you for listening
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"I don't need no arms around me, I don't need no drugs to calm me. I have seen the writing on the wall, Don't think I need anything at all. No don't think I'll need anything at all. All in all it was all just bricks in the wall. All in all you were all just bricks in the wall" - Roger Waters 1979
 
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