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bev49

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 5, 2010
Messages
21
Location
New York City
Hi, there. A very good friend of mine referred me to this site and it certainly looks interesting. I am a 60 year old female who was born and raised in New York City, where I still live. I started using drugs at around 13 (pot, alcohol and whatever else young teens were doing back then)... At 16 I started shooting heroin. At about 25, I got on a methadone program and there I stayed for over 30 years. During those years, especially in the beginning, I dabbled in benzo use, alcohol use and pot use. At the end, I kind of aged out of drug seeking behavior. Two years ago, I switched to subutex and it was the worst decision of my life. I feel it is too addictive and after so many years using, I feel no way out. BUT I've since learned that no pain med cuts through sub and being 60, it's scares the sxxt out of me. I wonder, after 40 some odd years of straight opiate use, if there is any chance of ever being without or is it even worth it to try? I have health issues and no desire to go through intense w/d's. I'm now going to search through threads and see what I can see... Hi to all.
 
Welcome Bev , i have a few years on you, ran from that city as soon as i was able and have had similar addiction issues though not anywhere as severe .
 
Thanks crip and hob for your prompt response and welcome. In truth, I don't think there is an answer for me. I have participated in other forums on other sites (much more self righteous and big headed people, who believe everyone can do it if you just have the "will power" and desire. I'm not so sure. It's a physical issue too. Sub scares me because if I needed surgery or pain management, I'd be shit outta luck. But where to go from here? I have to figure that one out.
 
Bev-Welcome to BL! There was another 60 year-old guy that just joined too. Nice to see some older members checking out this great community. I'm positive you will find the answers you seek. Check out the "Other Drugs" forum and there are some very wise members there that will be happy to assist you. :)
 
Welcome to Bluelight, this site should be able to provide you with a lot of information, you might not feel it but there are many members of this forum in similar cases as you! Hopefully you can provide some advice to those who need it and receive some when you require it.
 
Thank you Special.. I'm still trying to learn to navigate this site. It is HUGE. My question is, after 45 years of straight opiate addiction - heroin to methadone to subutex - has my brain lost the ability to make the chemicals needed to live a happy life? I don't know what forum to go to with this question but I suspect I know the answer anyway. I'm 61 in July, first touched a needle at 16, so I suppose I'm fucked but hate sub so it's all bad. I'll try to figure out where to go with my question and do hope I can offer advice to youngsters (relatively) on what I know about drugs (have done 'em all, minus methamphetamine and Ecstacy and the newer designer drugs).
 
Thanks for sharing your story....you have come to the right place. Bluelight can be like an online N.A. where you can meet others such as yourself and share information. I am an opioid addict myself, although I have never done methadone or H, I know about addiction.
Welcome to bluelight :)
 
Dear Moderator theotherside, Thank you for the warm welcome. I am glad to have found this site. I spent alot of time on another site which I won't name but found some of the people to be so smug and self righteous it was unbearable. Like, if you couldn't or didn't want to get off methadone or sub, you were somehow less worthy than those who tapered or detoxed or whatever. This place feels so much more accepting and I need that. I got beat up pretty badly on the other site by certain holier than thou assholes. I was actually told I had no right to offer opinions or advice because I was nothing but "an old junky"... LOL... It's nice to find a place where noone feels or acts better than anyone else, no matter where you're at on the drug pendulum. Old I am (60). A junky I might be after all these years but still, I have something to say. Thanks again.
 
What I love about this place is no matter what the situation, the majority of us are in this together, so at least for me, no matter what, I don't feel so alone. There's always somone on here that has been there.
 
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