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Ice - experienced - As it melts.

Lady Ice

Lady Ice

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 9, 2006
Messages
49
Location
Malaysia
I started out with pot, then e, then before I knew it, I've tried coke, heroin and ice.

Out of all that I've tried, I found a great affinity with ice.

For so many years of my life, I've always kept to myself & cried alone. When I was on ice, however, the barriers broke down and I was willing to share the secret part of me.

I was addicted, not to the drug, but to what the drug enabled me to do.
Many would dismiss it if I said I was using ice to soul search. Plain BS.
I was on a binge for almost 3 months. I was only sober when I was coming down. Even that didn't last for long.

Whenever I was on ice, I talked. As I talked, I gathered pieces of memories and fragments of the past. Slowly, I put together those pieces and discovered it made me who I am today.

I had in me so much guilt that only I hadn't realized. I also discovered that all this guilt was from my childhood.

I finally found closure for myself and told my parents about my hidden feelings about the past. Since then, a great weight has been lifted off my back and I do not carry that guilt with me anymore.

It is somehow amazing how it changed my life and speeded up my process of healing (it would've taken me years, maybe).
I knew I was using ice for a purpose and I told myself that once it has fulfilled it's purpose, I would no longer use it.

I have been clean from ice for more than a month now. I do not intend to go back down that road again.

Weird though, I also discovered that being high on ice is exactly like depression. I always called it depression in a drug. symptoms are the same. outcome all bad. remedy is to change the way you look at things, because then, the things you look at change. (read this quote somewhere in the forums, I think)

It would only be abused if you abuse it.
I just thought I'd share this with people out there. :)
 
Thats interesting, i never thought of meth as a drug that initiates 'soul searching'.

I know its cliched, but i have found ecstasy good for a bit of soul searching. The less often i use, the more beneficial and profound the experiences are.
 
Good report... it could go in the Dark Side, but I also think it qualifies as a Trip Report, although it's more of a retrospective. I think the reason Lady Ice posted it here is because she doesn't feel "dark" about it... it seems like she's actually saying it helped her. She wasn't interested, I imagine, in getting advice to help her out from TDS.

Lady Ice, you say that meth feels like depression? That's interesting. To me meth and all amphetamines feel extremely good and elevate my mood tremendously... at least until the comedown, that is. Or, I would imagine, if you get addicted to them and use them all the time. I could see that going bad fast...
 
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Well, on ice..

i can't sleep
i can't eat
i constantly obsess over things
the feeling is overwhelming
i sometimes talk to myself in my head (too much)
i'm irrationally paranoid

let's leave the rest to the come down.
That's how i see meth anyways. It helped me. but that road is over. So any use of it now is just plain abuse.

Yeah, Xorkoth is right. Im not looking for advice. Just sharing my experience. A good one, in fact.
 
Nice to see that you're able to shrug it off so easily. Many people get ruined by meth because they can't stop. You must have more willpower than a lot of people around here.
 
I give you mad props lady ice, that's very smart of you to quit while you can.

Like xorkoth said, you have A LOT more will power than most people.
 
Oh, I never thought of that... Ice was a slang term for 4-MAR (4-methyaminorex). However, most people mean meth when they say ice, so I'm betting it's that as well. Anyway, 4-MAR seems to be so rare that it barely even exists these days. I've always been more interested in 4-MAR than any other stimulant. It sounds excellent. Truly excellent.
 
A friend used meth for this same purpose, we had lots of long chats about his past. I think it ended up making him paranoid when he came down though, wondering what the fuck he had told me, just sitting in his chair picking at his toenails and shit, thinking I was going to use it against him or something stupid. I think it was good for him to get it all out.
 
Yea i'm in aussie and it's meth. or whatever they pass off as ice here. frankly the quality is close to terrible. haha.. maybe thats why its so easy to quit.
 
^^^Thought so. Australia seems to be the only place that calls crystal meth "Ice".
And yeah, from what I've heard the quality of Ice in Autsralia just ain't what it used to be. Then again I've only smoked it once so I haven't really paid attention to any of the purity trends.
 
^ Lots of people call meth "ice" (along with "glass" and, for some reason that's beyond me, "bear") on the East Coast of US (NYC, and heard it plenty as I travel around every so often). I just wanted to make sure which substance she was talking about, in case it really was 4-MAR.
 
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