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TDS I Wish I'd Never Been Born

Just wanted to add my .2, I definitely can relate to pretty much everything Bob said. For the past 2 months I've been fucking up and I feel like a piece of shit towards my family. I feel like I really shouldn't be here as I'm just causing everyone around me extreme pain and stress. I was hoping one of my doses of heroin and k pins would do me in but obviously that's not the case, and now I'm fucking addicted to klonopins and probably heroin here very shortly. I've been and lived the junkie lifestyle and I never want to go back, so I'm lost. Alcohol and drugs only numb the problems temporarily. Then there's the aftermath of no substances, which is just complete hell. I've been sober before for periods of time and obviously I didn't enjoy it enough. I feel like I've fucked up my life, and I just started school again this fall. I'm so embarrassed by all this. FML seriously. In such a dark place right now.

I hope everyone who is feeling the same, grabs the support of BL. This place probably saved my life more than a few times.
 
Bob Loblaw said:
I got put on citalopram/Celexa today. Hopefully that will help.



<3^^^^^^^^^^
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I hope so to m8. But I do know of people who found Citalopram useless, others who got benefit from it also though. I think it's a bit hit and miss, but if it does work for you, then stick with it. But it is usually used as the 1st option regarding anxiety.
 
Are you in chronic pain? I've felt this way before. But I still have hope for the future. I see things coming together, it will just be difficult. Entails a surgery and some other things. But the hope is there, still would like to have kids and lead a successful life, and see this period as a chitty temporary phase in my life that I cannot immediately escape, so i need to control the damage and heal the best i can.
 
I have felt most of those same things and some other bad shit since I was 5 or 6 years old and it just got worse I was doing abnormal things like taking 3o tylenol pills before I was 11 years just to see if god hated me enough let me/make me opt out so young Then injectinj dirty water somehow not getting sick. I don'y want to die anymore and I have many reasons and I see you havecome far from those feelings. of hating life like that. I hope I have not just temporarily gained the ability to feel real emotions. (That would have to have been for the last two months) - I hope I do not start feeling like that again
 
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