- Don't be gullible, let others take advantage of you and keep forgiving them.
- Don't repress your feelings, let others boss you around (when you know they're being assholes!) and learn how to stand up for yourself!
- Learn how to detect the typical traits of sociopaths/ psychos. Any signs- stay the hell away!!
- Don't try and overdose on pharms. It most definitely won't work. You'll just end up (at best)- passed out for days. Not so good- with brain damage, memory problems, have a seizure, have a stroke, be paralysed, etc. It will most likely just screw you up long term, both mentally and physically.
- DON'T GIVE UP. Don't let the dark side win. Whatever has happened, you can and will laugh and feel happy again if you hang in there.
--
God damn. I wish I wasn't so naive, had such a low self esteem and lack of confidence when I was 19. I would do anything to go back in time and change what happened. If I never met my ex, I'd have my health, my degree, a career, friends, a normal happy life! Maybe even in I could of got married to someone, have kids, grow old?
God damn. I hate myself so much right now for choosing this life instead.
I know I'm lucky not to have pneumonia like the last few years, but to be honest, I wish I had it. There's a 1/ 25 chance of having a natural end. I don't want to see a neurologist, go in horrible MRI and CAT scan machines and shit. If I had a life, friends, etc and it was one thing- fair enough. I'd do it. However, I've got myself into a position of having multiple, physical and mental problems. I can't deal with it.
God damn it. I hate the lack of available help/ knowledge the NHS has sometimes. I really really wish I could speak to a therapist this month, but I've moved, and am on a waiting list which takes over 6 months, so no chance. How sad, that so many people get seasonal depression, but can't see anyone about it, and end up committing suicide as well. If I make it through this, I will do everything in my power to change this!
I have found someone private, I've booked them on the 22/12, but it's so expensive it means I'll have no money leftover.
Oh, and is this a messed up sign or what? I thought I got rid of all the pregabs and betablockers, but when I was cleaning tonight, found at least a 100+ pills, and some needles.
I tried to OD on pregabs 22/12/13, but ended up with bell's palsy. Betablockers though, they nearly worked twice before. I was so close. I am trying to take my own advice to not do it, so badly. It feels like they have already won though. I'm a laughing stock, a freak. Better off gone. I need to finish what I started. FUCK SAKE! I don't know what to do.
Mental fucking tug of war. 2 days.
- Don't repress your feelings, let others boss you around (when you know they're being assholes!) and learn how to stand up for yourself!
- Learn how to detect the typical traits of sociopaths/ psychos. Any signs- stay the hell away!!
- Don't try and overdose on pharms. It most definitely won't work. You'll just end up (at best)- passed out for days. Not so good- with brain damage, memory problems, have a seizure, have a stroke, be paralysed, etc. It will most likely just screw you up long term, both mentally and physically.
- DON'T GIVE UP. Don't let the dark side win. Whatever has happened, you can and will laugh and feel happy again if you hang in there.
--
God damn. I wish I wasn't so naive, had such a low self esteem and lack of confidence when I was 19. I would do anything to go back in time and change what happened. If I never met my ex, I'd have my health, my degree, a career, friends, a normal happy life! Maybe even in I could of got married to someone, have kids, grow old?
God damn. I hate myself so much right now for choosing this life instead.
I know I'm lucky not to have pneumonia like the last few years, but to be honest, I wish I had it. There's a 1/ 25 chance of having a natural end. I don't want to see a neurologist, go in horrible MRI and CAT scan machines and shit. If I had a life, friends, etc and it was one thing- fair enough. I'd do it. However, I've got myself into a position of having multiple, physical and mental problems. I can't deal with it. God damn it. I hate the lack of available help/ knowledge the NHS has sometimes. I really really wish I could speak to a therapist this month, but I've moved, and am on a waiting list which takes over 6 months, so no chance. How sad, that so many people get seasonal depression, but can't see anyone about it, and end up committing suicide as well.
If I make it through this, I will do everything in my power to change this!I have found someone private, I've booked them on the 22/12, but it's so expensive it means I'll have no money leftover.
Oh, and is this a messed up sign or what? I thought I got rid of all the pregabs and betablockers, but when I was cleaning tonight, found at least a 100+ pills, and some needles.
I tried to OD on pregabs 22/12/13, but ended up with bell's palsy. Betablockers though, they nearly worked twice before. I was so close. I am trying to take my own advice to not do it, so badly. It feels like they have already won though. I'm a laughing stock, a freak. Better off gone. I need to finish what I started. FUCK SAKE! I don't know what to do. Mental fucking tug of war. 2 days.
they say strength comes from suffering, there's always a chance that the best times are still ahead of you
