now I want to shoot up and go back to the streets...
No, you don't.
Not to invalidate what you are telling us that you feel, but let's look at this objectively: You watched the movie Trainspotters. And now you want to revert back to a lifestyle that sounds every much as awful as most junky's I've run into, my own included.
That movie, whilst certainly not
glorifying the use of heroin, has its share of scenes that depict its characters enjoying the rush they get from injecting heroin. And there's your trigger. If you haven't been in that mindset for around three years, I am quite sure that you've discovered what a sincere pleasure life can be without being dependent on opiates.
In my mind there is no doubt that you have accomplished things that would have otherwise seemed extraterrestrial had you been injecting opiates all the while.
You were triggered,
sean107. I encounter triggers every day of my life, but refuse to let myself forget how bad it was, and how great things have become since quitting. If you want to talk coping strategies, we're here. If you
intend to go out and shoot up, then speak more openly to us and listen to the replies you will get (and have gotten). But the bottom line is that you don't want to shoot up.
And if so, for what reason?
~ Vaya