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Hopeless I want to relapse. Change my mind.

I just relapsed and went on a week long binge, now I've been in withdrawal for going on 3 days, doing better today but it was definitely not worth it. Wasted my money and now I fell horrible
 
Still haven't done it. Just trying to remind myself I'm gonna feel exactly the way I do now as soon as the drugs wear off. Don't know why it always seems like you're gonna be high forever when you're staring down a relapse, but it seems like such a good idea right now, even though I know it's not.
 
cowboycurtis said:
Still haven't done it. Just trying to remind myself I'm gonna feel exactly the way I do now as soon as the drugs wear off. Don't know why it always seems like you're gonna be high forever when you're staring down a relapse, but it seems like such a good idea right now, even though I know it's not.
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Same reason it always seems like you'll be sick forever or die when about to go into withdrawal. Same reason we tend to forget the bad shit we went through with drugs and romanticize the good.

A part of our brain is addicted and wants more. But it's reality and it's not in our best interests. It's just addiction causes us to rationalize ways to keep using forever.

But you can't use all the time forever, and trying too causes pain and suffering all around us.
 
I'm not going to change your mind.

IDK you and your experiences, but you will probably relapse.

YOU prove ME wrong.

Play the tape. What's going to happen, again?
 
ibtisam midlet said:
Take low little dose to relieve you craving and wait until craving go weak enough to not relapse you, in high doses
This might need weeks.
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I know you mean well but that's exactly how many people relapse. You think you'll be able to control it and that I'll be different this time, etc... And then you suddenly have a habit again.

The only thing that works for me is keeping my mind busy with other stuff so I don't even think about whatever drug I'm craving. It starts as a short term fix and isn't always realistic but it seems like the best solution. In the end, the only way you're going to stay "sober" is if you truly want it, it's your decision to make.
The long term goal is having a fulfilling life, whatever that means to you personally.
 
^I think that's part of the problem. I have no vision of what that fulfilling life is. I'm sure everyone, addict or not, struggles with this, but having the option to turn to drugs and not have to think about it can be an appealing, albeit devastating option. At this point, I don't even have anything to improve. I've essentially lost everything recently after years of "functionality" and now I'm starting over and I don't know where to begin other than getting clean. I guess that's what I need to focus on right now. The rest will come. Can't help but think of that Burrows' saying where junk wins by default. Gotta make my life more appealing than the dope and the all-mighty hypo.
 
cowboycurtis said:
Exactly what the title says.
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Why try to change your mind...at this point with the madness that's going on in the world why not enjoy yourself?....after not being addicted to any substance since around 1995 I recently acquired a great codeine source and a decent Norco source at the same time and have been staying nicely buzzed for a couple months now and have zero regrets...I realize I have a nice habit going and would feel like shit if I failed to take my three doses a day but with all the bullshit going on who gives a fuck...the drugs make me feel wonderful and give me that amazing piece of mind that only opiates can....why be miserable sober when you can be happy high....sorry but in my opinion go for it!
 
ibtisam midlet said:
Take low little dose to relieve you craving and wait until craving go weak enough to not relapse you, in high doses
This might need weeks.
Click to expand...
It is so funny that the first response to this thread is to go use but I actually like this advice. There is sense to it if you can pull it off.
 
Alex_1991 said:
It is so funny that the first response to this thread is to go use but I actually like this advice. There is sense to it if you can pull it off.
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I know, right? I wish it was possible, but sadly, for me, it is not.
I think I relapsed not too long after this post but I’m back to having 8 days.
 
I went through hell getting off fentynal by going to a clinic and getting on subs. But even after a week I still felt like death and relapsed for two weeks. I want to give quitting another try but it’s such a struggle.
i want to try kratom this time to see if it’s better than the suboxone
 
I am in the middle of a ween right now. It takes a lot of creativity. Right ! Work smart !!
 
cowgirl0510 said:
I went through hell getting off fentynal by going to a clinic and getting on subs. But even after a week I still felt like death and relapsed for two weeks. I want to give quitting another try but it’s such a struggle.
i want to try kratom this time to see if it’s better than the suboxone
Click to expand...
Kratom has gotten me off of dope before, it is possible. Suboxone has too though, for the record.
 
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