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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Mental Health I want to end it

Your son is 5? 5 doesn't last forever. In tons of parental alienation cases, the kid eventually seeks out the alienated parent once they're old enough to question what they're being told. Please hang in there. Odds are actually really high that your son will come looking for you in the future. Children do not write off parents without a reason, and your son probably misses his father. I would almost bet money on the fact that you will see him again.
 
Parenting is really fucking hard. Especially in situations like this, when it requires you to just be strong, have hope and wait. Be there for your son in the future, even if you can't do it now!
 
Sorry I cleared the PMs

I had a weird thought. I am running a very successful website in Australia. It will just run until the domain expires I guess.

To Malle things worse I got the flu now from my outdoor sleeping. Man can't wait to get of this shitty planet. I don't care if there is something after death.

Thanks again to everyone- you are a bunch of caring and compassionate people.helping someone you don't even know
 
I hope that someday you look back on this time in your life as the darkest, but that you will be able to find the gifts it brought you. Trite as it may sound, our hardest struggles are truly the best teachers we will ever have if we choose to listen. I know that your boy will choose to see you in his future. Make sure you are there when he comes looking. You brought him into life and no matter what, you will be his role model. If you have nothing else to hold you to life right now, use that. What do you want to teach him about strength, endurance and integrity? You can do this. I know how hard this must be but sometimes grit is all it takes to hang on while you wait for some strength to return.<3
 
You guys are right. But every day my willpower to stay alive has been getting less. Worst of all I still love my ex wife. My life insurance policy covers suicide now which will be1.3 million going into a trust fund for my son. One last thing I can do to set up my son in life. I certainly am set to leave this shit hole life. Couple of people might care enough to visit a funeral but that's about it.
 
Well, just one question: Do you believe that money can buy happiness? Or is it maybe more important to stay alive and support your child in all hardships he is going to go through?

I believe showing your own child that suicide is a way out, if nothings works anymore, is a pretty bad idea...
 
Ok guys and girls, thanks to all of you and your PMs I have decided to remain among the living and fight this shit :) I found a place to stay at an old friends place. It's on a sofa but it's warm and comfortable so who am I to complain. All of you have been my support network and without all of you I would be dead now. I chose life and I WILL be happy again. I love you all for being there for me when nobody else was. You can be proud yes so proud today that you saved a strangers life. THANK YOU. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you ever so much. I will stay on BL and keep you guys updated on how I go.
 
I started having thoughts again and read through this; including my own post.

Thank you rick for the motivation. I hope everything will line up beautifully for you. You can do this! Time goes on, use it to your advantage.
 
Reading this thread, I'm glad to see things are turning around for the better, Rick88. Hold onto that hope and keep moving forward. Make the most out of what you have. Life begins now, so fuck the past. Each new day is an opportunity.
 
Hope you are still around. I got something from this post... Only if just a little
 
Hi all
I am still alive. I got some Valium of my doctor which makes everything a little bearable.

Thanks everyone
 
Rick88!<3 Glad to hear from you. Now that things are a little more bearable see if you can get some counseling and try to dig a little deeper into what is causing you so much pain. I'm so glad that you are alive. <3
 
Good to hear you're still with us!

The journey of life can be very difficult at times. When we don't give up, we make ourselves stronger.
 
... life isnt unfair,people mostly are...so be there to make it right
I dont know why you still love your wife,we need more ppl like you on this planet,not her! Bare with us
 
Hi,
Reading my original post makes me shiver. I was so close to killing myself. But reading all of your replies, I owe all of you gratitude. I know if I hadn't gotten your support when I needed it I would have done it.

Even though the pain still lingers, I do feel alive and much better. I even got a job again (very lucky!). I am back on anti depressants and they do help somewhat.

I am starting to move on with my life but i will never marry again. Even the prospect of a relationship scares me.

But main thing is that mentally I feel better. In the last 3 months I have lost nearly 25kg so I am trying to start eating again too.

Thanks again friends
 
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