ya thats my current situation my g/f left 3 days ago and its weird ive actually managed to stay clean do you think mayb its better for me 2 b single? because honestly i dont have such strong emotions towards her right now cuz i guess im depressed after 5 years of doin dope mayb living alone is good for me even tho its really hard cuz at the same time i know i can come home n get fucked up n not worry bout my girl bitching at me so i feel like this is the ultimet test i guess i just gotta try my best to stay away from home like gym n work n come home late n thats it cuz i work from 10 to 7 then i guess i can stay at the gym till 10 be home by 11 buy my biggest problem is i cant sleep i have alot of xanax but im scared to get dependent on it i really dont even like it i would never take it during the day just stricktly a bar a night for some sleep but i have to stop that eventually cuz im scared but if i wouldnt get those few hours sleep i will relapse forsure what do you think i should do? pls you seem to have alot of experience in life so i would love to hear your opinion thank you
I can only really tell you how it played out for me.
My girl ended it right before I was headed to rehab and I had a LOT of anger concerning that but it was actually a positive for me. It gave me the opportunity to focus on myself without any conditions. It came down to me getting clean for me and not to salvage a relationship.
Sometimes, relationships distract us from ourselves and for me I needed to be comfortable in my own skin and get to know myself better without outside influences to take me outside of myself (ie. girlfriend, work, etc).
I've been in three relationships since getting clean and they each had elements that brought me close to justifying getting high or placing me in situations that would make it easy to get high. That being said, they also provided positive benefits and opportunities for me learn some things about myself.
Keep in mind, your sex drive is probably going to come back in a BIG way (especially since your testosterone will be increased from working out). For me, I sometimes confused sexual energy with emotional attachment. After busting a nut though, I realized that physical/sexual need was way different than the utopian relationships I thought I was involved in
I cool trick I learned was just to kick back and roll with things. If a relationship develops, cool. If it doesn't than thats cool too. Whenever I try too hard or force/manipulate a situation to suit what I think it should be, I usually feel some sort of way afterward because, to be honest, I still know very little about living and how life
really works
Play it by ear and as soon as anything stresses you out to the point of wanting to get high, then its time to remove yourself from that particular thing.
Dude, I'm no expert at this stuff. I only have 8 months experience with being clean and trying to implement change in my life. Just keep in mind that yeah, its VERY difficult in the beginning but before you realize, for some reason it becomes easier. For me, it took about 3 months of fear, doubt, obsession and a whole range of emotions before I found it to be less of a struggle