candidsurprise
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2017
- Messages
- 134
Hello all,
I?ve lost everything to the disease that is clinical depression. I?ve lost my fianc?, my career in law, my sanity, my self respect; as I?m sure many of you with crippling mental illness can relate to. Medication does nothing for me, except ketamine which I can only get once in a while. I?ve tried therapy to no avail.
So I?ve decided I?m going to use opiates to see if it helps. Now believe me I?m well aware that this is a dangerous path. I know that the risk of addiction is very high. I know that because I?ve seen friends, with normal lives, becoming addicted to this shit. So I do not take this decision lightly. However, it is a decision I?ve decided to take based on my condition.
I?ve used opiates before. The opiates that I?ve tried are oxycodone, Tramadol and Kratom . The opiates that I have access to are those three, heroin, dihydrocodiene, codeine and tapentadol . I went through a phase of using oxycodone once a week or so. I didnt get much ?euphoria? from it, nor much of an anti depressant effect. I got bored of it and stopped. I didn?t feel a thing on Kratom, even at high doses. Tramadol completely obliterated my depression . I used to experience a serotonin high combined with hard, euphoric nodding at high doses and a perfect anti-depressant effect at low doses. It was 20x times better than oxy for me. I did this at 2-3 times a week for 6 months and then stopped. I stopped because I used to be left with unbearable depression and anxiety following the 3 days of use (I. This didn?t happen to me on oxy (so I assume it was the serotonin related effects of tram that did it). I never experienced any cravings or urges to use on my ?days off? over the year or so that I was taking opioids weekly. I never experienced any degree of physical dependence.
So my question is - what is the safest and most effective opioid for this purpose, and what is the best advice you can give to avoid addiction? My intention is to try my hardest to fight addiction and never to use more than two days a week. What tips can you give to help me fight any aspects of psychological addiction based on your experience? One thing I?ve already done is acquired some memantine (an NMDA antagonist) to prevent or restrict tolerance development. I?ve heard good things about ultra low dose naltrexone too?
I have used GHB and low dose methamphetamine in the past. They were effective but GHB loses its antidepressant properties with more than one day of use a week, and methamphetamine was effectively but too recreational/euphoric with a bad crash so I stopped. No compulsive usage patterns with either.
I?ve lost everything to the disease that is clinical depression. I?ve lost my fianc?, my career in law, my sanity, my self respect; as I?m sure many of you with crippling mental illness can relate to. Medication does nothing for me, except ketamine which I can only get once in a while. I?ve tried therapy to no avail.
So I?ve decided I?m going to use opiates to see if it helps. Now believe me I?m well aware that this is a dangerous path. I know that the risk of addiction is very high. I know that because I?ve seen friends, with normal lives, becoming addicted to this shit. So I do not take this decision lightly. However, it is a decision I?ve decided to take based on my condition.
I?ve used opiates before. The opiates that I?ve tried are oxycodone, Tramadol and Kratom . The opiates that I have access to are those three, heroin, dihydrocodiene, codeine and tapentadol . I went through a phase of using oxycodone once a week or so. I didnt get much ?euphoria? from it, nor much of an anti depressant effect. I got bored of it and stopped. I didn?t feel a thing on Kratom, even at high doses. Tramadol completely obliterated my depression . I used to experience a serotonin high combined with hard, euphoric nodding at high doses and a perfect anti-depressant effect at low doses. It was 20x times better than oxy for me. I did this at 2-3 times a week for 6 months and then stopped. I stopped because I used to be left with unbearable depression and anxiety following the 3 days of use (I. This didn?t happen to me on oxy (so I assume it was the serotonin related effects of tram that did it). I never experienced any cravings or urges to use on my ?days off? over the year or so that I was taking opioids weekly. I never experienced any degree of physical dependence.
So my question is - what is the safest and most effective opioid for this purpose, and what is the best advice you can give to avoid addiction? My intention is to try my hardest to fight addiction and never to use more than two days a week. What tips can you give to help me fight any aspects of psychological addiction based on your experience? One thing I?ve already done is acquired some memantine (an NMDA antagonist) to prevent or restrict tolerance development. I?ve heard good things about ultra low dose naltrexone too?
I have used GHB and low dose methamphetamine in the past. They were effective but GHB loses its antidepressant properties with more than one day of use a week, and methamphetamine was effectively but too recreational/euphoric with a bad crash so I stopped. No compulsive usage patterns with either.