That happened to me after 25 years using, with periods of abstinence. Some folks might say it's because you're very young (under 30) if in fact you are. I've enjoyed certain types of fun with non using friends & family--but to be honest even when going to NA after I got clean for 27 months, on a strictly physical level--nothing really compared to slamming meth. Granted, I still enjoyed even keeled spiritual pleasures hanging with NA friends or my non using relatives. I enjoyed also, the benefits of living a strictly legal lifestyle during my abstinence periods, the longest in my adult life probably 27 months of no drugs or alcohol. I can only give you my experience, but the fact is when
I am clean, I am forced to live with my ADD symptoms. It's doable clean, but I can't sit and focus easily to sit and type this reply for example. I have to be moving around almost constantly & I don't have the patience to sit and read a long fucking manual on how to work a damn TV using 6 remote
controls + obtain a bloody engineering degree, & unless say my job depends on that shit, I won't even attempt to mess with IPODS, TIVO, all the crap available now because I just want to get up, and push a button for on or off lol. Not surprisingly, I've avoided jobs like the plague that require the skills of a pc or electronics tech. Once a while back, I went to a "normie" party (alcohol served, no drugs or people on drugs)
with a "normie" friend. I don't drink, so I didn't drink. I was able to chill at the party sober, but honestly I was kinda bored wondering "when the action was going to begin, action for me meaning crystal meth, or barring that at least 4 of my favorite Rx codiene/fiorinal pills, after which I feel as animated and able to enjoy myself as much as everyone else does with or without booze. I've been told this is the case with others that have ADD, so even though I can chill or party without drugs, it's just not the same & I can't enjoy myself like I REALLY do under a low dose of meth or pills. (notice I said LOW, not tweaked 2 the point of being over the top or pilled to the point of slurring my words with
blackouts lol---those days are long gone) If you don't have some bullshit ADD or other disorders going on like me, perhaps it's merely a matter of getting
used to living life without drugs. Given enough time you can adjust the longer you experience a drugless life. Otherwise, you could find out if you do have a disorder & talk to a Dr. I know that's what I should do in order to avoid breaking the law hence legal consequences by getting speed Rx legally. For some of us, drugs aren't just about getting high, but serve medicinal purposes when dosing correctly. The trick too is if you DO get drugs legally, find a balance of NOT having to over use and then going on a constant chase for the high. I've managed to successfully do so with the pain pills, but I haven't had legal speed in a long time so time will tell.
