Mental Health i torture people in visions(NOT IN REAL LIFE)

[anoymous]

basically ive had this thing ever since i think around 14, im not sure what causes it, but will go into a trance/trip and basically torture and kill people and stuff in the visions, i was pretty horified at first but i got used to it, its just something that happens that i know not to tell strangers police or doctors, the only people ive told is my family, but i don't think they believe me, or dont fully grasp what im seeing somtimes a hundred times a day.

ive cut peoples skin from head to toe, powdered bones, burned people, stuff like that, not in real life, but in the visions, i have no desire to do any of these things, is there any specific mental problem that could cause this?

im not a violent person at all btw, im a pretty nice anxious guy and havent done anything close to what i see in the visions in real life, and im pretty sure only people like charles manson have

does anyone have any idea what causes this?

it feels like someones thoughts are projecting themselves into my reality, could it a part of my schizophrenia?

to be clear i have not and am not going to do any of this, i just see it in my head over and over and over sometimes

im terrified to ask a doctor about this, since they may throw me in a mental hospital until i get better(never)

btw this has been going on for 7 years

 

[paranoid android]

Have you actually been diagnosed as Schizophrenic? Are you on any meds for it? It's not "normal" to have visions of cutting people up to say the least so some Psychiatric help wouldn't hurt. I don't doubt that the Schizophrenia is playing a part so perhaps you need your meds adjusted. But i am not a doctor nor is anyone else here and even if someone was you can't diagnose someone you haven't seen face to face so the best we can do is offer you advice. And don't worry thought crime is not illegal yet and you haven't actually harmed anyone so it's not like they can arrest you or even keep you in a Psych ward against your will for longer then 24 hours unless you are deemed to be a danger to the public.

 

[Moreaux]

It sounds like a form of OCD - intrusive thoughts. My Mom and I both suffer from this, though I have learned to control it. Granted, it's nothing to the extent that you're describing, so maybe it's not the same thing, or you have a much more severe case. My intrusive thoughts began when I was a teenager, and essentially if I have to use a sharp item (knife, scissors, etc), there is a quick thought about stabbing someone I love (not a vision, the whole thought takes only a few seconds, and there it's not organized i.e. Where they would be stabbed etc). It makes me queasy when I have the thoughts as I have not nor would I act on it. I did discuss these thoughts with my psychiatrist and he said it was part of my OCD. I have since learned how to shut them down when I feel them coming in through CBT. The thoughts are few and far between now, and usually just happen when I'm under stress. I think you should talk to a psychiatrist about it, you can at least find out more as to why you have them and how you can stop them. Good luck.

 

[JavInBoston]

Try meditation and use your mind to tell yourself that the thoughts are not good, be inside your head and physically push the thoughts out of your head. The more you do this the more control you will have over your own mind & eventually you will be able to force these thoughts away as soon as they enter or hopefully they will just stop happening. Trust me I've got something like this & the less often they occur the better off you are because they get farther and farther apart. But TRUST me , mindful meditation..if you want to get better force yourself to do it.

 

[Storms]

sounds like intrusive images. I have the same thing, plus with people doing the torturing to me, which really fires up my paranoia. I just try to observe these thoughts and not think about them too much