i took a shot/of oblivion

[vurtomatic]

i lay in bed
turning
fighting
losing
i feel myself
hating
bitter
not knowing
i wished
tears
come
memories
gone
i tried to think
wont
cant
please
stop
i tried to speak
no words
no sentences
no breath
i want to die
fool
loser
do it
do it
do it
i took a shot
of oblivion
waiting
let it end
if only

 

[plazma]

I love the way you chop out every unecessary word, you leave this bare skeleton of sentiment, that's somehow far more interesting for being so abrupt, so confronting.
*hugs*
-plaz out-

 

[E-girl]

plaz complimented your wonderful work better than i could have.
nicely written.

 

[womanthatrolls]

i always find it intersting that the way a poem i layed out or read can sometimes give more meaning to the words.

i took a shot
of oblivion
waiting
let it end
That line kind of reminds me of a Counting Crows song cept i think he says "im gonna get myself a little oblivion"
[ 24 June 2002: Message edited by: womanthatrolls ]

 

[vurtomatic]

thank you, its always very heartwarming to find someone liking ur own works though i would much prefer to have happy to write about...

 

[Queen Beat]

Vurtomatic, I've really been enjoying all your posts. I think your work is absolutely wonderful and can't wait to see more of it. I really like your style because on the surface its laid back and relaxed but its really quite intense.
As Plaz said, this piece is perfect in its simplicity. What you've left unsaid, are the words that say the most.