I've worked with clinicians who prescribe opioids (for pain and for MAT) -
@516CAZ 's provider should have been a bit more empathetic about what was being expressed as it sounds like OP has some legit pain management needs and concerns about the effectiveness of existing treatment. The provider is also under strict guidance about management of opioid prescribing by the DEA (assuming this is the US) and has strict protocols to follow about how to monitor use of opioids. The guidance that is required when misuse (taking more than one is prescribed, taking more frequently than is prescribed, taking other drugs that are not prescribed) is to require drug screening and pill counts as a first step.
While it may seem unfair, and can definitely feel patronizing, this guidance is a result of the laissez-faire prescribing that contributed in part to opioid overprescribing and the saturation of illicit markets with oxycontin and drugs like it. Prescribers have had their practices raided and license to practice suspended, some having their careers ended, and some even going to prison. I've followed a number of these cases and there have been times that providers seem to have been acting in good faith and compassionately, trying to meet the needs of their patients, and still have been punished for it.
All of that is to say - my recommendation for how to approach this for anyone on long-term pain management:
1) Talk to your prescriber BEFORE deviating from what is prescribed. If you need to take an extra dose, call the clinic and talk with a nurse. Let them know what's going on and ask for suggestions on what you can do.
2) Talk with your provider about supplementation with medications like memantine - while research is needed, there are examples of patients who have responded well to co-administration of memantine and opioids:
https://www.painmedicine-casereports.com/current/pdf?article=NTMx&journal=34 - it may be worth a trial to see if it helps with pain management.
3) Narcotic agreements are common - the provider needs to know and document that you understand what's required by you to continue prescribing.
Unfortunately, this is the reality of pain management. Seeking out a different provider may help with the bedside manner, but it's unlikely to find someone who is going to be more flexible with the rules. Opioid prescribing isn't supposed to make you feel good - it's designed to manage your pain with the lowest effective dose. It sucks because it means having to reconcile with the occasional feeling of euphoria you might have and knowing that it's not something you can chase, especially not legally. Still, as someone who has chased that shit, it doesn't end well more often than not. Kratom is the only opioid I fuck with these days for a reason.