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I think my housemate is a chronic masturbator...

so after actually finding spooge in the shower I made the decision to ask him to leave. I made another excuse instead of confronting him about it. It became clear to me that confronting him would have caused him to lose face and would have made things personal. If I confronted him and he stayed, that would have forced him to repress his behaviour which would not be healthy. He found another place which will hopefully be more accommodating of his habits and the move was mostly painless. He left on good terms and we're amicable.

EDIT: recording online. this was recorded from a carpeted hallway outside my room... it's around a corner near an open window next to a busy road... the wank banshee being behind a closed door 10 meters away in a glass shower cubicle with the shower and fan on.

http://soundcloud.com/savenger/wank-banshee-1/download (1.25mb file)
 
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At first I thought you were exaggerating about this wank banshee and his noise level mid wank.

But damn. That is fucking LOUD!!!!!!! hahaha
 
He may be an excessive masturbator and there isn't much you can do about it

You could TALK TO HIM. At any point in the 7 days since this was posted, the OP could have approached his roommate about the aural intensity of his roommate's wank sessions bothering him...

ebola
 
I never feel compelled to moan like that when I'm beating off... that's unbelievable. I can see where that would be too much, and I think you did the right thing...

EDIT: And someone needs to remix the wank banshee... put some untz untz untz to it...
 
Maybe he has Tourette syndrome and the moan is involuntary, and he wanks to relieve all the stress from holding back the tics.

While individuals with tics are sometimes able to suppress their tics for limited periods of time, doing so often results in tension or mental exhaustion. People with Tourette's may seek a secluded spot to release their symptoms, or there may be a marked increase in tics after a period of suppression at school or at work [citation].
 
so after actually finding spooge in the shower

That's the one line he crossed that's really bad. I'm sure he's an awkward loser with nothing going on for him and so he likes to let his freak flag fly while he's jerking it, and that's the pinnacle of his day, but being so fucking inconsiderate as to not clean up your loads that you just shot in a shared space is just beyond the pale. Kick his wankin ass outta there and start fresh. Fuck him.
 
This was a hilarious thread I laughed my ass off

Seriously though that's really really weird to make that much noise when jerking off and I'd definately say something about it.. I don't see how anyone here could have actually took a "well who cares" approach to it, fuck that it's definitely time for a jerk off intervention

I'd probably be funny about it and when he's doing it sneak up to the bathroom door quietly and then fucking RAGE BANG on it as hard as you can like a madman yelling at him at the top of your lungs to put it away haha

*edit* i just read the part that you found splooge in the bathroom. his shit would be outside. now. throw it all out the window and if you don't like confrontation first call some big ass friends over as backup, fuck this guy!!

*edit2* (maybe i should read a whole thread before posting) dude the audio clip is priceless and hilarious get him out though! shit i'm in baltimore if you're around here i'd help you just cuz it'd be THAT funny to see the guy in person hahaha
 
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I'd like to think that in my twenty-four years, I've come to recognize the sound of someone blowing their nose, and I've never heard someone blow their nose and moan like that, "oooooh!"
 
Ok I just double checked it and I would wager my life that those sounds are coming from his nose. It's definitely loud and forceful, but like I said, it sounds like he has some bad allergies going on. Plus I don't hear anyone saying 'ohhh'. I hear a nostril being cleared, then he sort of coughs and clears his throat, and then he clears the other nostril. Someone back me up here, this is insanely obvious. All in all I'd say it's a pretty ironic fail for the OP, being that he was painting his roommate off as a pervert...
 
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