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I think my housemate is a chronic masturbator...

If he has a high libido, then doing it many times a day is normal.

The issue here isn't that he masturbates a lot, it's that he's doing it in inappropriate ways that affect the people he's living with. You need to let him know that you can hear him and that it bothers you. If he wants to do it, he has to respect the boundaries of others.

^ This. I think some people are getting too caught up on the masturbation bit of it. Although I think what he's doing is distasteful, I think the main problem is the disrespect he's showing by being so disruptive, just the same as if he was blasting loud music at 1am, 3am and 7am.

I agree kicking him out without an explanation is probably too harsh, but I can understand how this is an awkward situation to bring up. I'd probably do it by saying I'd been woken up in the night, and ask him to please keep it down between the hours of 11pm and 8am, or whatever.
 
I'd have a talk with him and tell him how he's very loud in the bathroom in the morning and ask him to please be more quiet.

No need to embarass him and say "Oh BTW dude I heard you jerking it in the bathroom earlier this morning and man are you loud! When you cum you could wake the dead with your screams!'
 
i have no concept of how people can be this ignorant of how what they do affects others. what a total dick, did you not have interviews?
 
i have no concept of how people can be this ignorant of how what they do affects others. what a total dick, did you not have interviews?

yeah of course, but it's not like he's just gonna chat casually in an interview about the fact he's a serial masturbator who orgasms so loudly that the neighbours can hear it when he needs a place to live.
 
OP, did you try screaming like that while jerking off yet? Maybe it feels better. Only you know how he sounds to the point of imitating it otherwise I would've by now.
 
Why don't you knock on the bathroom door next time he's doing it, and just ask him if everything is alright in there. This way he will know that you can obviously hear him in there, and maybe he will keep it down after that. As of now he has yet to be confronted so he doesn't see it as a problem.

While a more direct approach may be better, you might want to try my suggestion so you can possible avoid an embarrasing conversation. If it doesn't work, then proceed to the direct conversation.

I can't imagine someone would be that loud while masturbating if they knew other people could hear them, so knocking on the door just to check on his well being might be enough for him to realize that he can be heard by everybody in the house. If he is still loud the next time, knock again to ask if he's alright in there, and maybe he will get the picture after the second time, I would do that maybe 3 times and if it doesn't stop then you can have an actual talk with him about it.
 
^very nice.
If he has a high libido, then doing it many times a day is normal.

The issue here isn't that he masturbates a lot, it's that he's doing it in inappropriate ways that affect the people he's living with. You need to let him know that you can hear him and that it bothers you. If he wants to do it, he has to respect the boundaries of others.

Normal...NORMAL?!? As western society goes yes this is normal. BUT western society is engineered towards you being a passivve bitch who wont make any trouble for the rich and famous, SO no, it's not fucking normal - it's very very unhealthy to habitually masturbate - as Rm-rf said, it sucks away your vigour and vitality, it's also (in this case) just fucking rude!

OP - just say to him, when he's just finished eating, that he needs to quieten down his "night-time activites", clear up after himself (especially) in the bathroom when he's "finished"(emphasis and a knowing look is key), and RESPECT YOUR HOUSE RULES otherwise you will have to ask him to leave, tell him he has a month to show he can live with you guys spreading good vibes, or you will have to give him notice. do it today, say it like that.

If you don't hav much of a backbone, I would suggest having a vigorous workout then telling him all this, when he's sated from food. Stand up when you tell him, so you are more authoratative, and whatever you do try and make it as off-the-cuff sounding as possible, try and lighten it up.
 
Why don't you knock on the bathroom door next time he's doing it, and just ask him if everything is alright in there. This way he will know that you can obviously hear him in there, and maybe he will keep it down after that. As of now he has yet to be confronted so he doesn't see it as a problem.

While a more direct approach may be better, you might want to try my suggestion so you can possible avoid an embarrasing conversation. If it doesn't work, then proceed to the direct conversation.

I can't imagine someone would be that loud while masturbating if they knew other people could hear them, so knocking on the door just to check on his well being might be enough for him to realize that he can be heard by everybody in the house. If he is still loud the next time, knock again to ask if he's alright in there, and maybe he will get the picture after the second time, I would do that maybe 3 times and if it doesn't stop then you can have an actual talk with him about it.
Yeah do this and just pray that he isn't one of those people who likes when others hear them.... Who knows he probably gets turned on by the fact he knows you can hear him :\ weird.
 
is your housemate leaving 'jelly fish' in the bottom of the shower? if not who cares? you wank outside his room on occasion to show him its quite weird, if you hear him start wanking tho at the sound of you giving it a go, id prob get worried!
 
is this behavior normal? define normal! if you stick a mouse in a cage and give it access to crack, itl do crack until it dies.
haha the quote goes difrent its : "If you give a mouse a button for sexual erection, the mouse would click it until it dies." :D

No defenatly not normal I dint know you coual have a orgasm while masturbating ask him to quit down when hes in their :D. Or make a joke outof it and say "hey stop wanking off so much and so loud" give it a laugh after wards and if he does it again get a little more sirious every time :D

Everyone choks the chicken :D
 
All this talk of masturbation sucking away your vitality is bullshit. It's a relic of religious thinking. Maybe it's primarily a placebo effect where it affects you only as much as you believe it does.

I can jerk off, have sex with a girl, and then jerk off again that same day, and I still do everything I have to do and want to do. I'm not saying it can't suck away your time and some people aren't psychologically addicted to it, and I've heard it can reduce your testosterone a little bit, but if you work out regularly then testosterone shouldn't be much a problem anyway. Just do a few leg exercises and squats to get those big muscles pumping more out and you'll be good.
I'm not saying it's the same for everybody, but masturbation is one of those topics where people still have magical, paranoid, thought processes about. It's not a conspiracy by the rich to keep you sluggish, it's not a tool of the devil to suck away your soul, etc. It's so strange to me how much bullshit surrounds the topic to this day. One bad thing about it I can see is that, since pussy is such a driving force in our society, you might content yourself to never improve your lot in life if you jerk off all the fucking time, and that seems to be what the OP's loser roommate is doing, but that's just like anything that gets out of balance. You definitely need it in moderation, but since everyone's sex drives are different, no one can tell you how to moderate your own habits.

A great thing about jerking off is that you can work to build up yourself from the ground up, and you don't have to take any shit from any girl looking to pussy whip you into throwing away your own dreams. How many Jimi Hendrix's or Bruce Lee's or Louis CK's are out there working at a fucking factory or grocery store somewhere because their girls at the time couldn't handle the fact that they wanted to build up a career for themselves in an unconventional manner and that involved a lot of hard decisions? That's an unanswerable question, but jerking off frees you from taking shit from any girls you don't need in your life. There's a higher pie in the sky so to speak. Sorry, I'm proud of that pun.

Sorry for the soap box digression.
 
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He may be an excessive masturbator and there isn't much you can do about it but, he definetly shouldn't be spanking the monkey in a common area like the bathroom.

Hang a sign up in the bathroom that says: The bathroom is a place to bust your gut not your nut!
 
Maybe this is just me, but putting myself in the masturbator's shoes, I think I'd be less embarrassed if the burdened roommate were to actually bluntly bring it up in a casual manner, rather than tiptoeing around it in a more formal way. If my buddy let out a laugh just said to me, "Dude, we all love to rub one out, but Jesus, tone it down a little," I'd just laugh and I'd quiet down when I'm doing it. But on the other hand, if they were like, "When you're alone at night, could you please keep it down a little more? And be sure to clean up?" then I'd be mortified.
 
This whole thread is fucking hilarious. Post the recordings!!!

I like the revenge whackin off idea
Or the intervention
Or the earmuffs

But if ur gonna bring it up don't be a prude, def make a. Joke to spare them the shame
 
Next time he starts wanking it, you should stand in front of the bathroom door, and start wanking it as well! Making plenty of grunting noises, make it obvious! You two can go back and forth, trade off moans and grunts.
 
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