I think Marijuana has suppressed my ADHD allowing me to see how Lame I am.

[stoner787]

Ever since I was young I knew something was wrong with me. I'd never been taken to a doctor when I acted out just beaten and I think I would have been diagnosed with ADHD. I had problems making friends, sitting down and was terrified of speaking to people period. I spent most of my life couped up in my room battling depression wondering what was wrong. Now I know after I've been smoking, my thoughts were always jumbled up and I had zero focus in school always failing or making C's. I was never focus but when I smoked I noticed how easy ti was for me to think. Now I've been being more sociable now going out to parties three to four times in a week actually interacting with people for the first time. I began to see and realize all of the things that was wrong with me. I am a huge liar and never realized how bad I was. I wouldn't look them in the eyes I'd move my hands around it was obvious and I never knew because I never had been around people longer than a few hours to realize social queues or how to compose myself. I would as well lie about things I did in my life because I have done nothing and have nothing to talk about. Behind my back everyone probably knows I'm a liar and a loser with nothing to do or get accomplished. People would always say I was weird or my best friend even said I was socially awkward but I never picked it up I was dumb. Now while I've been thinking and smoking and around people, I realize I wouldn't want to be around me much either. They probably think I'm a bitch especially since I've been a push over all my life never realizing it. I would let people win arguments, call me names,and just walk with a depleted angry look. I realize now that I knew inside how messed up I was but subconsciously, and with my hyper activeness and mental problems I made fantasies about being a superhero or saving people and lived in another world never soaking in the knowledge of how to talk to people. I would blurt out in some manic role playing act of killing a dragon and say "You're weird" "something's wrong" but not fully realize I was telling myself something or someone was telling me. The weed must be suppressing my ADHD and letting me focus and think about my life for once. I realize I'm in college for shit I don't want to do I only went because my parents encouraged it and I didn't have a back bone or care about it. I want to study history not this I want to lecture people speak to them, I like being sociable but I can't relate to anyone since I never lived life in my room. I'm terrified when I stop smoking that I'm going to go back to being a complete nervous dumbass. I realize when I smoke I stop having wild fantasies and stop my bullshit"multitasking" and focus on one thing at a time. As soon as I stop smoking, the fantasies just come back to me and can't openly speak or form connections with people. I don't even speak to my relatives I've been an asshole to them and never even thought about it living in my own little world thinking I would be someone.I'm going to go to a therapist and get help I hope I just want to be normal and all my life I have wanted that, not to be depressed and lonely. DO you guys agree or am I tripping?

 

[PotatoMan]

I know someone like you. About the lying part. Quite annoying imo.

You need to take control of your own life and do things that make you happy. You have let the world and your mind defeat you. You need to become strong. You make your life. They don't say "life is what you make it" for no reason.

Weed suppressing ADHD? What is ADHD? Or you mean ... oh shit I started thinking about getting fucked up later.. ADHD is some sort of attention thing? Crap I must have it then!

Listen forget all that crap about ADHD. You just have social anxiety like everyone else and you don't know how to carry about yourself in the social world. This is due to your environments. Being a compulsive liar will not make it easy for you to make friends. Nobody likes those. If you were my friend I'd be calling you out on it in your face because that's the only way ppl like that stop. Plus it's not a hate thing, I constructively fuck them up cuz that's not a way to live in life.

Check yourself. Relax. Think on a sober head. Recognize your thoughts. Calm your mind. Stop letting it defeat you.

You are only strong when you take control of your life. You let it beat you up like this then run to your therapist and he'd jack u up on meds. Whether that's good or bad? Who knows?

BE YOU. NOT YOUR FANTASIES. LEAVE THAT FOR YOUR BEDROOM.


Weed doesn't reveal you to yourself like fucking bob said. Weed just makes you overthink.

 

[SixBuckets]

You are depressed. You basically said in your post that you experienced depression and then went on to describe depression and ask what it was.

Go and see a therapist, or a psychiatrist if you think you need to be medicated. Maybe take a break from the weed until you've got your mental health sorted out a bit.

Good luck. It's really hard trying to be proactive about your health when your brain is telling you that you're essentially awful. But there's help available.