I think its time I go to detox need some info

Bojangles69

Bluelighter
Joined
May 20, 2009
Messages
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Ok things have gotten worse since school ended. Pretty much like lolie was predicting would happen to jake, well I just have no structure and its too hard to get back into tapering.
On one level I know I can do it again as I did it once before, but I can't keep using that as an excuse to push off my sobriety. Like "I don't really need detox as history proved that". But history didn't exactly prove that because I went back to using so again I'm just filling my head with lies.

My problem is simple. And pretty similar to jakes. I refuse to tell my family not because I'm afraid they'll cut me off, more for the reason that I just don't want to stress out my parents anymore. So I've decided I do want to go to detox, I'm just still not going to get them involved. If they find out when I get back, so be it, but it will be much less stressful for them at that point knowing I took initiative on my own to do it w/out any help.
My big problem right now is insurance, I have none. I can get a charity care card which pays for medical expenses, which I *think would pay for detox, but for now what would someone do in my position?

Are the detoxes that take people w/out insurance? I'm not going to drag this shit out or turn this into a long thread, I pretty much assume it can be done because Jake managed to do it somehow and I'm just curious what some of you veteran opiate addicts know about this.
I have to escape this life and I'm really just too weak to go through another taper. Even once I get to week 2 or 3 I realize I still have so far too go, and its too much to handle again.

What can I do? Thanks guys.
 
each time i have terminated a junk addiction it was on my own steam . wd's are no worse than a bad flu .
i got myself addicted and thus i had only myself to get off the gear .
cold turkey symptoms are history by the middle or so of week 2.
the addiction recovery industry is rife with rackets because the clients are desperate .

the courts mandate alc/drug treatment for offenders thus most every county has programs that will cost less than big league outfits and are just as worthless.

tapering to zero never had a chance of working for this fellow addict .
 
its gonna be hard to get into a good facility without insurance..

honestly, i think you should just try to go cold turkey at your house. fuck tapering just go for it. ive detoxed in rehabs and at home and personally i would much rather be in the comfort of my own home while in withdrawal. youre going to have to learn to say no to yourself at some point anyway, so going to detox to physically stop you from using is the wrong approach.. you will still have to find the will power to not use when you come back.

go for it dude. just go for it fuck it. take the pain. lol
 
Maybe the detox that took jake will take you?

Assuming you can't find a detox (I hope you can) you could always get some tramadol/gabapentin/clonodine and kick?
 
If I knew I could just withdraw for 2 week then go out and and be on my merry way I would, but the reason I don't like that idea is after the acute wds are gone I'm going to be in a highly sensitive mental state.
I understand how you people withdraw at home, I don't understand how you just pick up your bags and move on with life after the wds are done like nothing happened. Don't you want to kill yourself a week or 2 after wds pass? It just blows my mind how people take themselves off opiates and don't try commiting suicide, which is precisely what I did last time I just hate that absolute apathy and depression that comes afterwards.
I was thinking a detox might throw me on somethings to help with the mental aspects afterwards. But serious for lucid and hobhead were you not mentally fucked after that experience? Or am I building it up into something I shouldn't be building it up into?

I just know when I jumped off in sept by day 23 I was still suicidal. I didn't try anything of course cause I eventually went back to using. I was thinking a clinic might be different as its more of an investment into sobriety, they help set up after care and what not and always monitor your state.

Fuck man I just can't hold down a job on this shit its always been my problem. I can get up on oxies I just don't do oxies or get oxies, I get pods and those things are sedative as shit. No matter how hard I try when I am out at night my body does not response to noise, doors shutting, dogs barking or even sun in the morning. I sleep through EVERYTHING like I'm literally unconscious at night.
Its definitley an idea I'm gonna get some more feedback and see what others say. I don't consider myself a weak person its just that opiates take away so much ambition that being on them simultaneously takes away my energy to stop using them. Maybe I'll be the first person to be kicked out into the streets with a pod addiction lol, that would be something new. Robbing banks and what not to support my "habit". Thats another things thats always drove me crazy if I was on heroin I'd surely be in some type of rehab by now, pods are easy to control just to the point where they keep your life a mess, but can still appear somewhat functional to the rest of the world. Its not a hardcore addiction, but shit 100gms a day really isn't a light habit either imo.
 
Maybe the detox that took jake will take you?

Assuming you can't find a detox (I hope you can) you could always get some tramadol/gabapentin/clonodine and kick?

Yeh I called Jake before and he kinda explained to me how it worked. The thing that bothered me is he seems like he didn't even like detox like they didn't do much for him but just keep him from using. Or that was the impression I got.
I sometimes do get the impression that detox is worthless.

I can get tram/gaba and all that would ketamine do anything for wds? I only ask because I have some and have been holding on to it to save after I got off opiates, for spirtual reasons really maybe an eye opening experience idrk.
 
I was thinking a detox might throw me on somethings to help with the mental aspects afterwards. But serious for lucid and hobhead were you not mentally fucked after that experience? Or am I building it up into something I shouldn't be building it up into?

no i hear you dude.. it pretty awful. its make the paws seem like heaven though lol. honestly man i think the hardest part is after the acute withdrawals, waiting for your brain to balance itself back out takes months and its just a matter of doing the time, which can be pretty unbearable sometimes. but rehab wouldnt help you with the paws anyway unless you went to like a 90 day treatment program.

id say your options are tell your parents and get them to pay for a detox/rehab facility or go cold turkey.. or stay stuck in the cycle youre in. i think you should at least try cold turkey first and have detox be your back up plan. and if you ask your doctor he will almost certainly prescribe you some clonidine to help you ease the symptoms.

personally im an at home do it yourself detoxer all the way - for me theres no question thats the way to go. i just surrender to the pain, theres really no getting around that fact that youre going to be uncomfortable coming off opiates. and in your case, any detox facility you go to without insurance is going to be pretty budget dude.. they probably wont give you much in the way of pain relief. itll basically just be a place to stay while you withdraw.

but do what you gotta do to get clean man, anything that works for you is worth it.
 
Great to hear man, looks like you got to that place where you admit you can't do this on your own which is the best thing I ever did in my life.

This addict too could never manage a taper. I was pretty much on a constant cycle of failing tapers for the last part of my using. I tried a few cold turkeys too, couldn't do it.

I would highly highly recommend a treatment centre with a detox if you can. Do they have any charity based treatment centres in the US? I was damn lucky to get in where I did, my mums insurace paid for the 28 day program and a charity took me on for the following 9 weeks. All the group therapy, etc is amazing for helping you get through the p.a.w.s. Not sure how I would have been without it, probably not made it, but if I did I know it would have been a damn sight harder, and the amount of stuff I learnt in treatment was ridiculous. So so so worth it.

Sriously though getting clean is the easy part, its getting through the paws that is tough. And with the kick that I went through this is a bold statement!

http://digital-dharma.net/post-acute-withdrawal-syndrome-why-we-dont-get-better-immediately/

..a good article about paws. In a treatment centre they will do all this stuff, group therapy, meditation, exercise, good balanced diet, etc. It's the perfect place to get clean man. And then maybe look into a day program when you get out, some of them then cut you down to 5 days a week, then 4, then 3,2,1.. then aftercare, gently ease you into the real world with an ongoing care plan.

Good luck man!! :)
 
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The way I went to my first detox with no insurance for free... The number i called was Catholic social services... Look it up in the phone book.. They pointed me in the right direction..
 
I hope you dont mind me asking but what country are you in? I'm in the Uk (I get the impression you are in the US) and there are freee detox clinics here, except they usually have long waiting lists and you have to be a pretty hardcore user to get into one, but hey, they are free!!

Also,as I understand it you have to fight pretty hard to get accepted, like going into your local drug/alcohol place pretty much at least 3 times a week and then they will get the idea that you do genuinely want to stop.

I hope this helped, rather than just one long winded ramble!
 
i dunno, but ive been in the same situation. my family [still] thinks i have like 2 years sober. but that is so wrong. not even close. ive thought about going to detox and rehab again, but i cant tell my parents.

i also have no insurance. dont know what to tell you, other than call places in your area and ask them. im sure there is some place willing to help you if you truly want sobriety.
 
Sweet! I just pmd you AOW. Like I said in the pm if your in jersey I'm game. It would sure as hell beat a detox & would truely be a blessing man. This may turn out much better than I was expecting see this is why I love this fucking site.

Thanks to everyone else who posted!
 
I've had to detox on my own a few times, and have never been able to control myself enough to taper. It is just like a flu, really uncomfortable, but bearable. Just the other night I was coming off of 1 years worth of dilaudid and had one of the most miserable nights of sleep in my life. There are things you can do to help the discomfort and get through it on your own if you can't afford to get into a detox facility. Message me if you would like any DIY tips and tricks. And I wish you the best of luck!
 
I'm seeing more & more of this "eh, it's just like a flu, man-up and do it at home, it'll be over in a week or two" conventional 'wisdom' around here and it's driving me nuts. Over the course of my ten year opiate addiction, I might've thought w/d was "flu-like" the first, oh, half-dozen times I went through it. But I can ASSURE you that this last time was a fucking hell-ride the likes of which I was not sure I would survive and I am no pussy.

And yes, Bojangles, the only way I got through the firs 21 days or so was to constantly -all day every day- picture the empty bliss a gunshot to the head would bring. Now I'm 51 days clean and still nowhere NEAR back to 'normal' (although greatly improved). You know you best and you can make an educated guess about how bad and lengthy your withdrawal will be based on your personal history. It sounds like you passed the "flu" stage some time ago, but hopefully you aren't where I was yet. If you think detox is the best way, that's what you should do, despite what the "just a flu" people say. Good luck to you.
 
I've never really understood detoxes. I can see how they would be beneficial to some people who don't have a place they can kick for a few days, but if I understand correctly the majority of them don't offer much after care at all and may just refer you to some meetings. I know detoxes can be very important for alcoholics since kicking alcohol can bring on a whole slew of symptoms.

It is admirable that they will give you a place to go to get clean, but in my experience getting clean is the easy part and staying clean is where the journey really begins..

Sent you a PM as well.
 
If it was just the "flu" symptoms... kicking addiction would be a piece of cake. When was the last time you had the flu and had insomnia, prolonged/severe depression and RLS? It's much more than "just the flu". Heck when I get the flu... I sleep thru much of it. Get some comfort meds and perhaps try an antidepressant along with seroquel which can potentiate the AD. I've heard this helps with PAWS. Ask your psychiatrist first.
 
i refer to wd's as flu like in that the first week and a half has much of the same physical syptoms . can't hold down food nor drink, nose and ass running, achey bones and joints but with the addition of insomnia as one's central nervous system has rebounded with a passion.

i have worked in heavy industry while all this misery was my state of being . i found that eventually a little (or allot) of booze consumed served to mitigate my shattered nerves and got me forty winks.

it is crucial to keep busy and i have the luck in that i really liked my work, so i threw my self at it. i used the track at the local uni to run, run until i was exhausted-anything that could bring the escape of sleep back into my life.
 
When I am dopesick off a big habit I'm pretty fucking useless. Running is out of the question because I'm not even getting out of bed unless it's going to the bathroom to shit and/or vomit. I couldn't drink it away because I couldn't stomach chicken soup and gatorade let alone alcohol.. I can't even imagine working at all let alone in heavy industry.. I've lost every job I've ever had while I was kicking how sad is that?

Being dopesick is like having a severe flu along with debilitating depression insomnia and anxiety maybe..

And then a week later you get to hang out with PAWS for an indefinite period of time.

yuck :|
 
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