OK, so if you read my previous posts you'll know that I have been a fairly regular coke user... Not exactly an addict but very, very high doses when I do use, which is once or twice a week.
Well, something happened:
I started saving money for a trip I had planned, and as it turned out, saving the necessary money kept me from buying any coke.
I didn't do any for like a month and a half.
I definitely slept better and seemed to enjoy better cardiovascular health, but I noticed something else too.
I developed a certain nostalgia for the stuff, and I never seemed to get horny.
So anyway this weekend, since I had already saved all the money I needed for the trip, I decided to go out and buy some gear.
I ended up buying 2 grams 2 nights in a row.
It was off the same dealer I always used to buy off, and it had the same face melting effects but... It just wasn't the same.
I didn't feel like I did what I wanted it to.
It was like it lost some of its magic.
I don't know what changed... The effects were the same but I just didn't enjoy them as much. I drank like 12 beer as well.
And I woke up the next day feeling genuinely awful... Like just terrible. Depressed and sick. A really bad booze and coke hangover is like nothing else. It's the biggest self-esteem killer ever, which is weird because I find most stimulant comedowns are disgusting, but they don't destroy your self image like the coke comedown does.
Anyway, I think I'm going to try to make the best of this negative experience and never do coke again.
I feel like I sort of get what the deal is with it, and I'm mostly "over" its (overrated) euphoria now.
Anyway, just had to get that out.
Peace.
Well, something happened:
I started saving money for a trip I had planned, and as it turned out, saving the necessary money kept me from buying any coke.
I didn't do any for like a month and a half.
I definitely slept better and seemed to enjoy better cardiovascular health, but I noticed something else too.
I developed a certain nostalgia for the stuff, and I never seemed to get horny.
So anyway this weekend, since I had already saved all the money I needed for the trip, I decided to go out and buy some gear.
I ended up buying 2 grams 2 nights in a row.
It was off the same dealer I always used to buy off, and it had the same face melting effects but... It just wasn't the same.
I didn't feel like I did what I wanted it to.
It was like it lost some of its magic.
I don't know what changed... The effects were the same but I just didn't enjoy them as much. I drank like 12 beer as well.
And I woke up the next day feeling genuinely awful... Like just terrible. Depressed and sick. A really bad booze and coke hangover is like nothing else. It's the biggest self-esteem killer ever, which is weird because I find most stimulant comedowns are disgusting, but they don't destroy your self image like the coke comedown does.
Anyway, I think I'm going to try to make the best of this negative experience and never do coke again.
I feel like I sort of get what the deal is with it, and I'm mostly "over" its (overrated) euphoria now.
Anyway, just had to get that out.
Peace.


and my habit was EXCRUCIATINGLY large