I think I'm becoming Dumb. Please help!

[deadendgame]

I'm losing the ability to read, understand speech, and speak. More than that, I can only focus for minutes at a time. I don't know what's going on, but I'm noticing a drastic decrease in my focus and cognition and it's getting worse everyday. I want to seek help but don't even know where to begin. I don't even have the ability to explain this to a physician anymore. Other people don't understand what I'm going through and they constantly judge me for my lack of focus or cognition. They think it's due to laziness or lack of trying, but it's really not that. I believe that it has to do with an internal defect in my brain, possibly a lack of dopamine. Because actually, I have abused ritalin and adderall in the past. It's the only explanation that can account for my loss of ability. I really don't know what I can do anymore. Should I commit suicide or go on disability? I think I need brain surgery or at least some meds. I think I'm gonna die. Actually I know I'm gonna die but it's only a matter of when. Can anybody please help me? Maybe some phone numbers or online resource. Thanks so much.

 

[Mysterie]

when did you discontinue your use of uppers?

if you are able to construct and post this thread, i think you should be able to communicate your problem to a doctor?

why don't you see a doctor?

 

[engineercchad]

You sound as though you're having a panic attack. First of, breathe deep and relax a little bit. This is actually quite normal after stimulant abuse. Some suggestions: I had very severe brain fog after my detox (mostly from anxiety meds, pain meds, etc.) and even developed bad, bad, bad adrenal fatigue (still dealing with that f**ktarded mess to this day at 20 months!) but I did find some solace in a nootropic regimen for helping to restore my cognitive function AND some focus, memory not to mention I stopped that "my whole frontal lobe feels numb, is it actually still there? I can't think!" feeling I was dealing with first 8+ hours every day.

Something else I would recommend to you (there is no question = YOU WILL FIND THIS TO BE A USEFUL SUGGESTION IF YOU JUST TRY IT!) exercise.....

It helps blood flow and offers some essential neurochemistry improvements unmatched by a whole lot of other means to get you where you need to go. On the plus side (HUGE HUGE PLUS) you'll also help bring your body "in tune" as well!

 

[MissBehavin'_416]

No, you're not having a panic attack. Go see a doctor as soon as possible. I'd start with a general, family doc.

 

[Maya]

I do have to agree with Mysterie on his questions. When did you stop OP? How long has it been? It does take time to recover from the abuse. How have you been taking care of yourself? Your diet? Exercise? Exercise and proper diet actually helps boost the neurotransmitters of our brain. i also had experienced some nasty effects from abusing drugs mdma in particular which went away in time.

 

[cosmic._.ape]

Also, a question nobody seems to have done yet, how old are you?

 

[deadendgame]

I stopped in the middle of last year. I guess I haven't really been taking care of myself, I mainly sit at home and watch TV. I tried to work a couple of times but I keep getting fired because of my lack of speed. My goal right now is not to find a job. My goal right now is to get well and then find a job. I constantly believe that people are out to kill me and that I might die at anytime, which is a problem because I don't die when I actually expect to die. These distressful thoughts only make me more fearful and it is hell everyday up to the point where I barely have the focus to take care of myself. So, yeah, I don't know what to do. I think I should be hospitalized but I'm afraid of the following things. I might be underinsured, I'm afraid if they might abuse me, and I'll lose the freedom of going out in public, going to the internet, or even listening to my iPod. I'm 24 and I know I have a long road ahead of me. That's what I'm afraid of. I don't want to have a long road ahead of me. I want this misery to end as swiftly as possible.

 

[harmacologist]

eat healthy, be clean and exercise.

set a routinue where you wake up, clean yourself, dress yourself, feed yourself, do things during the day, have time for yourself, read, prepare for bed and sleep.

try to do anything that stimulates the mind (word games, sudoku), and try to be social at times, even if that means sitting alone in a park while other people are around.

everything is simple but there are alot of simple tasks that you end up forgoing after a while, and you need to parent your inner child to accept doing these things is for your benefit.

make a big list of all the shit you got to do, then check the list off every day. doesn't matter if you cant do it all at once.

baby steps.

just start, and go from there.

there is no magic easy road. it will be a hard struggle. and it will be worth it.

 

[neversickanymore]

^ really good advice there

 

[Smoky]

Yes, really good advice from Harm.

You could see an internist, and you might have something going on, but thinking about it too much can make it seem worse…. and can become worse psychologically placebo wise.

I used stimulants for a long time, then on Strattera for 2-3 years. I can hear things further away than I can in front of me and it's disturbing, but … being structured in my daily living and engaging in the word section on BL to get my mind working without drugs, and outside cognitive reframing techniques have been helpful…. and exercise, acupuncture.

My brain might not ever be the same, but it's okay and I don't have to be perfect…

 

[Americanfloosie]

I stopped in the middle of last year. I guess I haven't really been taking care of myself, I mainly sit at home and watch TV. I tried to work a couple of times but I keep getting fired because of my lack of speed. My goal right now is not to find a job. My goal right now is to get well and then find a job. I constantly believe that people are out to kill me and that I might die at anytime, which is a problem because I don't die when I actually expect to die. These distressful thoughts only make me more fearful and it is hell everyday up to the point where I barely have the focus to take care of myself. So, yeah, I don't know what to do. I think I should be hospitalized but I'm afraid of the following things. I might be underinsured, I'm afraid if they might abuse me, and I'll lose the freedom of going out in public, going to the internet, or even listening to my iPod. I'm 24 and I know I have a long road ahead of me. That's what I'm afraid of. I don't want to have a long road ahead of me. I want this misery to end as swiftly as possible.

This sounds a lot like how I was after a good few months of drinking and abusing vyvance. THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!!! I promise. I'm clean and sober from most things now (save for caffeine and stuff) and I feel 1000x better. I exercise and try and eat right and add a vitamin to my diet. But first you should probably see a doctor and get anti anxiety meds. Those helped me get through the rebound of the shit I had put my body through. Don't give up. Trust me I'm living proof that you CAN get better.
I'll give you an example of how sick I was: I was so ill I stopped going into work because I developed shakiness and anxiety that was relentless. I was a server and I couldn't walk up to table without flinching at the smallest things and feeling like everyone was talking about me. My boyfriend let me crash at his house while I was "sick". It took a month and a few doctors visits before I got the right meds and started working on my diet and exercise. I promise you will feel better. Just get yourself to the doctor and explain what's happening. Then start to work out. You can do it!!!