selfmedicinals
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2013
- Messages
- 28
the first time i got prescribed amphetamines it took a few months unti i recognized that the psychosis was there.....i leftthat docter but on my way out the door she said "you have braindamage." and i gave her a confused look and continued out the door. just to let you know im currently in a comedown as i just got my script last night from a docter i started going to when i made the mistake of going back to a docter whenever it was. this docter took me off adderall and put me on a bunch of shit for bi-polar and claimed i was misdiagnosed as adhd but i when i went in last time i said klonopin is too risky i kinda need to go back on the adderall so i can work faster so i dont lose my new job.....she put me back on the adderall so im now convinced shes totally unorganised and it makes no sense. so im schizo right now and im aware of it.....i wasnt aware of it a few hours ago when i was still hanging on to the delusional view of reality.. i was talking to my family a couple minutes ago and for the first time i actually forgot what i was talking about or some shit idk.
the thing is i think so much and delve into so much farout shit(I JUST SPENT LIKE 20 MINUTES TYPING AND DELETING THINGS BUT THAN REALIZED THAT I CANT FORM A VIEW ON THE WORLD RIGHT NOW BECAUSE ITS LIKE EVERYTHING EXPLODED IN MY HEAD AND ITS NOT CONNECTED AT ALL)
im done. ths is really messed up yo idk if what i typed can paint a picture of what im going through right now but it happens everytime i take adderall and everytime i never see it coming
i dont even know what im trying to do right now......ill just keep this thing posted so i can always look back on this when i recover
i just deleted a question i typed because i was basically asking why the delusions are delusions and not reality......i percieved it as something different when i was typing it tho....i feel like something is fucking with me right now from another dimension because im really confused i dont understand what the hell this life is right now
im gunna dose suboxone and see if it brings anything together......im basically doing things and after each thing i start questioning why i did what i did.....im a mentally ill person right now if this was permanent i would off myself bc its pointless and makes no sense
this song is spot on with what im going through right now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eSfcUzGTdk
and heres another song by the same guy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQZAB3x1MY8
the difference between the two is like the difference between me tweaking and me sober.....the first song representing soberness and the second representing intoxication
i gotta admit i have a hard time communicating lately
the thing is i think so much and delve into so much farout shit(I JUST SPENT LIKE 20 MINUTES TYPING AND DELETING THINGS BUT THAN REALIZED THAT I CANT FORM A VIEW ON THE WORLD RIGHT NOW BECAUSE ITS LIKE EVERYTHING EXPLODED IN MY HEAD AND ITS NOT CONNECTED AT ALL)
im done. ths is really messed up yo idk if what i typed can paint a picture of what im going through right now but it happens everytime i take adderall and everytime i never see it coming
i dont even know what im trying to do right now......ill just keep this thing posted so i can always look back on this when i recover
i just deleted a question i typed because i was basically asking why the delusions are delusions and not reality......i percieved it as something different when i was typing it tho....i feel like something is fucking with me right now from another dimension because im really confused i dont understand what the hell this life is right now
im gunna dose suboxone and see if it brings anything together......im basically doing things and after each thing i start questioning why i did what i did.....im a mentally ill person right now if this was permanent i would off myself bc its pointless and makes no sense
this song is spot on with what im going through right now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eSfcUzGTdk
and heres another song by the same guy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQZAB3x1MY8
the difference between the two is like the difference between me tweaking and me sober.....the first song representing soberness and the second representing intoxication
i gotta admit i have a hard time communicating lately
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