• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

I think i have a problem.

Y

Yeagerx

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 21, 2010
Messages
95
Location
Seattle,Wa
Ok so im 18. I have no job. i struggle with depression and Insomnia everyday. The only time I'm happy is when I'm high or drunk also the only times i can sleep. Last night was the second time in a month ive almost died. After seeing a picture of me laying out in someones yard passed out drunk(Right here http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos...596017665787_1396324410_1579275_1369676_n.jpg) I'm starting to think I might need some help. Edit: Also when i write and record music it seems to help a little just to get everything out.
 
Last edited:
welcome to life.
better to stop a drug problem before it starts, though. hints: don't drink. don't drink. oh yeah..... don't drink. and for fucks sake, don't touch meth or opiates. if you don't have a problem now, you *will* with the latter two, and probably with the sauce too.
if yeh gotta do something, smoke some bud and masturbate. self-improvement. self-destruction though....
 
just a msg to wish you well. It can be done, to recover I mean. After 15 years of drug use and 5 years of addiction (2 years on legal RC), I've lost one friend who took so much 4mmc his blood sugar dropped so low he died at 28 yrs old. That was in March.
I've been clean for 2 months and am just coming back to the real world after a lot of use of:

DMC
NRG1 and 2
4MMC
6-APB
Coke
Plus loads of other stuff that I either didn't know or care what it was.
Don't be fooled by legal highs, for me they turned into a life time low. It's not worth it. Give the real world a chance, it's better but you can't see that when you are getting fucked all the time.

Mark
 
Thanks mark. I think the depression is the main reason im using. And its not that im even taking regular doses. I keep taking almost lethal doses of stuff.
 
Hey man I want to tell you something that I wish I understood long before now. I am just getting ahold of the concept now DOH! :P

What I want to say is that life is dangerous like a jungle. Often from our parents sheltering us we don't notice how dangerous it really is. You can fall into many traps, external and internal, and if you are not keen, alert, and ready, you can be badly hurt. For example: doing way too much E and fucking your brain up.

These things happen. Be strong!! Do your own thing. Work everyday. Work and study!!

I'm 22 now, and having to take care of myself just kinda hit me in the face when I was 20.

Bit of advice about depression too: Don't fall into the trap I did where I wasn't dealing with my depression, but instead I was just banadging it up.

Thats a trap bro.. Honestly. You have to grab life by the boobs and strut on. No matter how much it hurts. And you will find resolve when you look around and see the beauty you create.
 
and before yeh run off to some headshrinker for psychoanalysis, bear this in mind. ive never heard one say "you're depressed because life is just hard." its always "i think you have ______ disorder, take these psych meds"..... and yer always wrong for knowing what the problem is, and for saying as much. clinical depression, bi-polar, and seasonal disaffective disorders are big money, and there's plenty of unscrupulous head-docs who'll tell yeh whatever to keep up business.

if yeh still are depressed, anxious, and have insomnia after getting clean and refocusing into something worthwhile (like yer music), then by all means, get yer head shrunk.
 
hey yeagerx, i think you already see booze and a few other substances aren't improving your life. and i'll bet you feel even more depressed the day(s) after a binge.
i really want to focus on your "edit" and encourage you as much as possible to pursue your music, writing, art, whatever creative pursuit that makes you feel better. music, writing, etc can be a fantastic way to express your feelings and release all the anger, confusion, fear, just everything that complicates life. in all honesty, writing helped me more than therapy or psyche meds or recreational substances. i was able to work through a lot of negative crap and just let it go. life throws some wicked curveballs, so to speak, and dealing with stress through your art is way more effective and positive than getting so loaded that you pass out on some stranger's lawn.

i cannot encourage you enough to pursue your artistic interests. i'm older than dirt (46) and been on my own since 15. i made a lot of mistakes but i did stay in school and got my degree. and a couple years ago i decided i'd let some people read some of my writing, submitted it to an anthology, and they printed it! shocked me. the same thing could happen for you with music

listen to what your body, brain, and heart are telling you and get high from your music. there's no drug that can duplicate that feeling.
best of luck to you.
-izzy
 
Last edited:
Yeh ixchellian has voiced everything that was on my mind actually.

Take that guys advice because he is one smart fuck and he ALWAYS keeps shit real.
Don't worrry about depression/anxiety till AFTER you're off the drugs. Every single time in my life, when I've been at my worst/most depressed/anxious, I've either been on drugs/alcohol or coming off drugs/alcohol. But once I'm clean for a few years I always feel reborn spritually/healthwise.
 
Well I can offer no useful advice. I nearly died 20 times on barbtiurates and Vodka and (Valium).

You only have to read my posts from around July 2010.
 
Mr. Bill Robinson, you are CORRECT!

Bojangles69 said:
Yeh ixchellian has voiced everything that was on my mind actually.
Take that guys advice because he is one smart fuck and he ALWAYS keeps shit real..
Click to expand...

Ix always gives magnificent yet humble advice, eloquently expressed opinions with the truth of personal experience validating his points.<3

And Bojangles my favorite Shirley Temple co-star, you are not too shabby yourself :)
 
Seems like a lot of people afflicted with depression and/or anxiety turn to drugs to self-medicate. However, it is more cost efficient to get some Benzo's and an anti-depressant from your PC Doc. That being said, I still dabble with opiates and spend lots of money on them as well as the prescription drugs LOL
 
Bojangles69 said:
Yeh ixchellian has voiced everything that was on my mind actually.

Take that guys advice because he is one smart fuck and he ALWAYS keeps shit real.
Click to expand...

yeh, for my sins. 8)

littlegirlblue said:
Ix always gives magnificent yet humble advice, eloquently expressed opinions with the truth of personal experience validating his points.<3

And Bojangles my favorite Shirley Temple co-star, you are not too shabby yourself :)
Click to expand...

I ain't that good. I just don't ride the dramalama. :\
 
I'm going to the other view as other posters. They say you're problem is drugs and alcohol I say no. You're problem is depression, you should fix the cause of depression. Substance abuse is only a consequence of depression and other problems, its never a cause. If you are brave enough you can try LSD if that helps if not then there is lots of other ways to fix your problems.
 
^ don't take LSD. =\

It sounds like you aren't so much depressed regularly but your constantly drinking/smoking/taking pills MAKES your sober life depressing.

There is hope for you and you're young.. go get counseling and see a therapist.. I would recommend you try an anti-depressant and get a benzo for those times when you feel like you are really gonna freak out.

You think you are depressed now... try being one of the opiate addicts on here in withdrawal... thats when shit stops being funny. If you are into opiates a little now they will already be making you depressed cause they condition your brain into being unhappy on its own. Stay strong brotha
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top