PriestTheyCalledHim
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2005
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- 14,714
Definitely see your doctor. If it is extremely bad go to a hospital, do not hurt yourself, and keep in mind they are just thoughts and temporary.
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Depression I swear some people who kill themselves do it just to STFU the thoughts of whether or not to kill themselves
- Thread starter ChemicallyEnhanced
- Start date
F.U.B.A.R.
Bluelight Crew
Do you find that the sertraline actually helps? My son is on 100mg a day and although it helped his depression initially, it now seems to be more of a monkey on his back. I believe that one of the side effects can be suicidal ideation? You definitely need to see your doctor mate.
Take care man!
ChemicallyEnhanced
Bluelighter
Do you find that the sertraline actually helps? My son is on 100mg a day and although it helped his depression initially, it now seems to be more of a monkey on his back. I believe that one of the side effects can be suicidal ideation? You definitely need to see your doctor mate.
Take care man!
Yeah, it generally helps a lot. I've been on it for 13 years and it's been pretty consistent most of the time.
Even people without depression get depressed in withdrawals.u sorta come to realise that the crazy nostalgia feelings are fake and will pass. I can't imagine what it feels like with real depression added.
I'm in UK mate. I don't think they have any ket treatments here or lsd clinics etc. Doctors are very reserved nowadays too.
I hear one off ket trips have massive therapeutic effects in palliative ppl allowing the fear to leave them but that isn't advuce.
Gl man
I'm in UK mate. I don't think they have any ket treatments here or lsd clinics etc. Doctors are very reserved nowadays too.
I hear one off ket trips have massive therapeutic effects in palliative ppl allowing the fear to leave them but that isn't advuce.
Gl man
Senior Moderator
Senior Staff Account
This is very well said. It is okay to have the thoughts of suicide. It is okay to acknowledge the thought, to sit with it for a moment, let it be what it is, it's just a thought, and then you can let it go. Beautifully said. Thank you ❤The thought “You should kill yourself” rolls through my brain at least 5 times per week to this day. Sitting peacefully in the beautiful sunshine and there it goes. I acknowledge it and let it go. Fucking bizarre. You aren’t alone.
jasperkent
Bluelighter
If I had killed every person (other than myself) I wanted to kill throughout my life, I'd be serving several hundred years in prison.
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Ok, I was going to ask your age, on the off chance that you may be a minor or young adult being prescribed one of these meds... I was one of those 15 year-olds with a new MDD diagnosis on the max legal dose of zoloft back before they knew better and the results were NOT pretty... and unfortunately it does still happen, especially with young individuals being loaded up on psych meds by know-nothing or second-string hack MD's during their brief but inevitable forays into legal/penal institutions.
Much love and respect to you for reaching out to your doctor though. I struggle with ideation as well. We can do this. ♥
ChemicallyEnhanced
Bluelighter
I had severe anxiety as well as MDD, so it took me until I was 19 just to work up the balls to go see a doctor (8 years)...doesn't help that my dad didn't believe in mental illness and my mum forbade me to see a doctor about it :/
ChemicallyEnhanced
Bluelighter
Haha same. As a bullied teen I wished I was Carrie White so hard lol.
ChemicallyEnhanced
Bluelighter
Love every single one of you for your kind words, you guys are awesome 
crazyhairman
Bluelighter
Ha yea, it's weird right. The common perception is once you get clean everything gets brighter. I've been clean for a while , it's cool and all. But... sometimes I just don't want to be here anymore.
It's not like a sad thing per sie. Just a very open to the idea of leaving life behind. Honestly I'm just here for everyone else. If I can bring some type of relief to anyone in this life, then I have a purpose.
I try to stay busy. I think the biggest issue is quality of life while you're here. I quit smoking cigs because I was fed up with not being able to breathe.
I'm on a diet and exercise because I'm 35 going on 55 lol. I've actually got a million heath issues like you.
For now I'm here , I'm good. But yea , it's always back there in my mind. Dying alone too , that's what I've been preparing myself for mentally. I think to myself, would I cry? Who and what will run through my last moments?
At the moment I don't feel like we are ready to go just yet. I don't know what life has in store for any of us. But me personally, id probably do another 10 years of life. Re assess at that time.
Then I can't help be feel a bit guilty. There's kids with cancer that won't see their eight birthday and I'm contemplating giving up on life. Idk man you can't pick your brain chemistry. But there's things you can try to mitigate your quality of life while you're here.
Like if you have a car, you change the oil right...you may not wash it but you turn the lights off over night. That's basically all I do, is look at it as saving time and money later.
It's never too late to turn it around. If you want that is , to try something different
Peace
It's not like a sad thing per sie. Just a very open to the idea of leaving life behind. Honestly I'm just here for everyone else. If I can bring some type of relief to anyone in this life, then I have a purpose.
I try to stay busy. I think the biggest issue is quality of life while you're here. I quit smoking cigs because I was fed up with not being able to breathe.
I'm on a diet and exercise because I'm 35 going on 55 lol. I've actually got a million heath issues like you.
For now I'm here , I'm good. But yea , it's always back there in my mind. Dying alone too , that's what I've been preparing myself for mentally. I think to myself, would I cry? Who and what will run through my last moments?
At the moment I don't feel like we are ready to go just yet. I don't know what life has in store for any of us. But me personally, id probably do another 10 years of life. Re assess at that time.
Then I can't help be feel a bit guilty. There's kids with cancer that won't see their eight birthday and I'm contemplating giving up on life. Idk man you can't pick your brain chemistry. But there's things you can try to mitigate your quality of life while you're here.
Like if you have a car, you change the oil right...you may not wash it but you turn the lights off over night. That's basically all I do, is look at it as saving time and money later.
It's never too late to turn it around. If you want that is , to try something different
Peace
crazyhairman
Bluelighter
I don't talk about this stuff very often. Just reading your post and some responses. It's just so familiar. I wish I could tell you it will at get better and stay that way. But I can't. Just try to enjoy every second just in case. ... the biggest reason I stopped using when I did was I was just tired of it. I knew I was dying.
What bothered me more that anything, was the feeling that I had wasted my life. So before I died I wanted to feel what real sobriety was. Even as a fuck you to my brain chemistry.
I want to be happy when I pass. I want to look back at my life and know it was worth it.
no matter what happens, you gotta find that peace. Sober or not.
What bothered me more that anything, was the feeling that I had wasted my life. So before I died I wanted to feel what real sobriety was. Even as a fuck you to my brain chemistry.
I want to be happy when I pass. I want to look back at my life and know it was worth it.
no matter what happens, you gotta find that peace. Sober or not.
I would never recommend anyone go to a psych ward if it can be at all avoided especially for depression. I don't normally get depression but being in there made me fucking miserable. Between being bitched at by nurses for smoking weed and ciggs and having nurses come in the room checking up on you all day and night and at night with fucking flashlights you cant get any peace in there. It's also very loud in there at all hours. Like ya its better then suicide but thats not saying much.