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I should just leave.

S

solutionx3

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 6, 2013
Messages
4
Been dating someone for five years. Fell in love with him halfway through, we went through so many things. The thing is, he always kept leaving me and coming back. Left me for his ex, even when dating he cheated on me. I found these out all on my own. The last time he broke up with me, due to the fact I began finding out of his cheating without saying a word, he left me and got with someone he met on a dating website. Within time, he told me still loved me. Within time he told me he would leave her. I found out on my own she's pregnant. I've implied it but he has yet to tell me. He tells me he's going to let her know what's up, that it's going to be me and him forever. But has yet to tell me and I'm waiting. I know for sure she's keeping it. They've only been dating for 3 months. I've been with him for 5 years. Has anyone been through something like this?
My heart is hurting..
 
Cut all contact immediately. Run for the hills.

Seek therapy. Putting up with this sort of shit for five years is not something that a healthy person would do. Work on getting better, so that you are able to find a meaningful and fulfilling relationship in future.
 
Good god.... You should leave?!?!? Fucking GO. Yesterday.
You may actually love him but the way he views you is most likely very different. I'm not trying to be mean. I'm speaking from experience cause I've gotten off on playing/manipulating girls and I kinda know how it works. Not to this degree, but yeah.
He treats you like that, cheats, leaves, lies, etc, cause he can. I guarantee you he gets off on it. Stop, leave, find a actual human being that will care about you and treat you proper. You don't deserve that shit. If you love someone you do not cheat on and/or leave them repeatedly.
Again, I'm not trying to be a prick. Just blunt. You don't deserve that. There's no way you can be happy like that. Are you?
 
Thank you, I think I definitely will seek help after all this. It does take a toll on me.
 
I've been hearing this more and more recently. I honestly end up do believing he really does love me and I think of recent he does it more due to the fact he may break the news to me sooner or later. I'm happy at times but when I'm reminded of what reality is, I become sad. I feel like I should just go now without a word but I keep waiting for a confession of what's going on.
 
solutionx3 said:
I keep waiting for a confession of what's going on.
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Why? Ditch the MFer. Whatever you like/love about him, there's a million other guys that are just as good or significantly better.
Emotionally, physically, sexually, etc. Lots of them have the added bonus of not being a sociopath, too.
Hit him where it hurts. Take off and stay away, delete his number, don't answer the door. He's not expecting that. For sure.
That's about all I'll say.
Good luck. Let us all know what's up.
 
yea he is clearly on some next level of assholery, and you need to leave. your brain will clutch at straws and desperately try to convince itself that he loves you, in anyway it can. which sucks but thats the situation you're in. get rid of him and your life will start improving
 
solutionx3 said:
I'm happy at times but when I'm reminded of what reality is, I become sad.
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I'm sad for you because this man has been jerking you around for quite some time. I know it will be hard but you need to close the door on him. Do you live together? Either way a clean break is what's needed. Your title sums it up: You should just leave!
 
Leave him lol.

solutionx3 said:
Been dating someone for five years. Fell in love with him halfway through, we went through so many things.
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People don't fall in love after 3 years, they fall into attachment. Falling into attachment is different from falling in love. When you see someone in your life for 3 years, you get attached! You can get attached to a dog also! But it's not love. You just saw him around for so long that he began to represent a notable portion of your brain defining your every-day life experiences. If you own a car for 3 years you get attached to the car too but you don't love it. It's habit.

Appetite comes while eating saying does not apply to love. If you don't love the food serving you just don't. But, if you eat that same bad food serving your entire childhood, you get attached! And sure you may say you love it but it's a disgusting dish! You got used to an abomination. Chase the abomination from your life before you get attached even further.

Find love at first sight. That's when you're sure it's love.
 
Last edited:
Ksa said:
Leave him lol.



People don't fall in love after 3 years, they fall into attachment. Falling into attachment is different from falling in love. When you see someone in your life for 3 years, you get attached! You can get attached to a dog also! But it's not love. You just saw him around for so long that he began to represent a notable portion of your brain defining your every-day life experiences. If you own a car for 3 years you get attached to the car too but you don't love it. It's habit.

Appetite comes while eating saying does not apply to love. If you don't love the food serving you just don't. But, if you eat that same bad food serving your entire childhood, you get attached! And sure you may say you love it but it's a disgusting dish! You got used to an abomination. Chase the abomination from your life before you get attached even further.

Find love at first sight. That's when you're sure it's love.
Click to expand...

I loved him from the beginning we almost kissed for the first time 2 years prior today and I thought of it everyday. I meant I loved him truly after a year because he did jerk me around at some point and I find it hard to get attached fast. Thank you for the advice!!
 
if you let people treat you badly in love you can lay the blame at your own feet.

no-one is forcing you to be with a promiscuous man
 
Mr.Scagnattie said:
Are you kidding? The fact you're even considering staying with this ass hole is nuts.

He cheated on you, is continuing to cheat on you, and is having a baby with another woman.
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This basically sums up what I was going to say.
 
solutionx3 said:
he always kept leaving me and coming back.
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the reason he continues with this behavior is because YOU let him. He keeps leaving... and YOU keep letting him come back.
You should have ended it the first time it happened. Once you let him back in, and he left again and you let him back in AGAIN, he realized that he can continue to do this because you will allow yourself to be treated like shit.

LEAVE HIM. Fuck the 5 years... that's nothing in comparison to 60+ years of life you have left to live.

? Will he leave the girl he got pregnant while fucking around behind your back ?
Maybe. Maybe not.

The real question is... Do you really want to be the girl who's boyfriend got some other girl pregnant?
Eww.
 
solutionx3 said:
I've been hearing this more and more recently. I honestly end up do believing he really does love me and I think of recent he does it more due to the fact he may break the news to me sooner or later. I'm happy at times but when I'm reminded of what reality is, I become sad. I feel like I should just go now without a word but I keep waiting for a confession of what's going on.
Click to expand...

I think it would be better to leave him now wether or not he confesses. That way you hold the power and it is a decision that you can own and be proud of. The way he treated you is unforgivable and that's not love.

The best defense is a good offense. Don't even waste your emotions on him anymore he will just use you more if you let him.
 
It sounds like the OP wants closure and resolution.

I honestly think fuck that. It will only bring more heartbreak and draw things out.

The best way to get out of a situation that dodgy is to cut your losses and run.

Also if you just leave him with all your stuff gone or kick him out on the street unexpectedly you will have your closure and your self esteem can come back. In the situation, the man deserves absolutly no heads up.
 
Mel22 said:
Cut all contact immediately. Run for the hills.

Seek therapy. Putting up with this sort of shit for five years is not something that a healthy person would do. Work on getting better, so that you are able to find a meaningful and fulfilling relationship in future.
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Exactly! OP please leave the relationship PRONTO! I know you expected so much from him and for the relationship to work but please have pity on yourself. You are not a doormat, you are not a toy that he can just come back to whenever he feels like it. You are someone who deserves to be loved and respected. For me, a cheater is someone you can easily forget. How are you going to know or meet the right person for you if you don't leave? There might be someone out there waiting for you and you are just hindering it by staying with the wrong guy. So please OP do yourself a favor and leave.
 
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