I swear to god I have noone to reach out to. all my friends/family do not realize the extent of my drug use though. or even at all. they are against medication. even though it is gonna be minor compared to some of you. I have SUCH BAD MOTHERFUCKING ADHD that i took 25mg of adderall and fell aslep for 4 hours. took 10 more mg then fell asleep an hour after that for one more hour. stayed up for 6 hours then fell back asleep. but now I am fucking exhausted but pupils like saucers, tons of energy, slight jaw clenhcing. it's been 20 hours since i took 10 whopping grams of amphetamine. if the sun rises I guess I just take 20 more??? i'm clueless right now. I know adderall makes me tired then awake when it wears off but this is RIDUCULOUS. i quit smoking bud on the 30th so I could get a job. even though I have a misdemeanor VOP on my record and it's gonna be impossible. at least i start college on monday.
God what the fuck have I been doing. Just got out of a 12 year relationship with someone who treated me like complete shit the last 4 years but I stayed with her for my daughter. I even let her see the guy she is with the last year of our relationship. he is gay/bisexual like ZERO threat. her self-esteem is completely shot. I have everything going for me once I get my root canals and possibly a bridge. I think my ADHD was caused by environment. I am discovering who I am again and how lucky to be who I am. I am just so damn mad at myself and cannot get to sleep even after a gram of gabapentin 2mg of xanax and 2 beers. sucks. I guarantee if I take 10mg of adderall I will pass out but I want to sleep good. clearly I didn't cuz I'm tired and can't sleep. so ya all I take is gabapentin and xanax but I got an adderall script for school and wanted to try it since it had been so long. once I get a real doc I am getting dexedrine. still gonna have the same problems with it more or less. FUCK!
God what the fuck have I been doing. Just got out of a 12 year relationship with someone who treated me like complete shit the last 4 years but I stayed with her for my daughter. I even let her see the guy she is with the last year of our relationship. he is gay/bisexual like ZERO threat. her self-esteem is completely shot. I have everything going for me once I get my root canals and possibly a bridge. I think my ADHD was caused by environment. I am discovering who I am again and how lucky to be who I am. I am just so damn mad at myself and cannot get to sleep even after a gram of gabapentin 2mg of xanax and 2 beers. sucks. I guarantee if I take 10mg of adderall I will pass out but I want to sleep good. clearly I didn't cuz I'm tired and can't sleep. so ya all I take is gabapentin and xanax but I got an adderall script for school and wanted to try it since it had been so long. once I get a real doc I am getting dexedrine. still gonna have the same problems with it more or less. FUCK!
