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I really want to stop using Opiates.

Kahuna

Kahuna

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 12, 2013
Messages
24
Location
Europe
I just want to tell you my experience with Tramadol and Tilidine (an Opiate that is often prescribed in Europe).

I used to be a weekend warrior for 3 years. That means i only used Friday - Sunday and never more than the common medical dose of 200 mg Tramadol a day.

First everything was OK. After one and a half year i noticed that Monday was a good day and Tuesday i was really tired in the morning and lethargic. Also Wednesday wasnt so well and i startet to wake up sometimes at night and could not sleep well. I felt depressed. Thursday it got better and Friday i felt almost normal again. I kept this pattern and always thought: 'Don't be sad the weekend is coming soon.'

Thats my experience with mild withdrawal symptoms even with this little dosage.

Now i tell you how everything got worse.

After the death of my grandma 2012 we cleared out her flat. I found a bottle Tilidine and took it with me.
Then i had birthday on a Monday and thought to give Tilidine a try. That was a big mistake.
I startet to use Tramadol Friday - Sunday and Tilidine on Monday and sometimes Tuesday. Did this for 3 weeks and stopped it because i realized that i lost control over my weekend only rule. So i went back to the weekend only pattern and almost forgot the Tilidine until December 2013 (last month).

December i failed and used it every day the whole month. Sometimes Tilidine only but often mixed with Tramadol. I always had an excuse to use. In Europe there are a lot of holidays in December. January i got a cold and said to myself: 'Okay.. now you should take a break again to go back to the weekend only pattern.'

I felt so sick when i stopped doing Tilidine and Tramadol. I also have serious problems with my sleep. The first 2 days were crazy almost no sleep and really bad RLS. It gets a LITTLE better now. I just want to sleep normal again. I hope it will happen soon.

Now I really want to stop using Opiates.

Here comes the part i am really scared of:
I am now successfully clean for 4 days but it is nothing special for me because as you know i used weekend only for years.
Monday - Thursday i came home from work ate something watched a little TV and went to bed.
Friday - Sunday i had more time and did some housework, repaired something, went out or visited my parents all with the influence of Tramadol.

Thats my problem now. I am scared about loosing the motivation and energy that i had on the weekends. Right now i think that i can not have fun on a weekend without Tramadol.

Thats my opiate story.
I admire all of you ex-hardcore opiate users. Must be indescribable hard to get off stronger opiates. It looks like it is possible to have fun without opiates.

I read some posts from neversickanymore and it really helped me. Thank you all.

Best Regards

Kahuna
 
Hello! I'm new to this forum but I've read many many stories about opiate addiction and recovery, and I've tried many different things to get thru withdrawal.

I was a regular user of percocets, hydrocodone, lortab, etc. for about 2-3 yrs. I wanted to start getting control of my life and be able to save money and just enjoy life again. I was tired of running out of money or running out of pills and going thru withdrawals. I was using mainly bc I work in a call center and that can cause alot of mental health problems if you aren't careful. I thought I could switch down to Tramadol bc I heard it was not addictive and doctors do not mind at all giving those out. Tramadol withdrawals are much much worse than opiate withdrawals. Tramadol works as an antidepressant in some way, so along with the stomach issues, the restless leg issues, my head would feel like 100 lbs or feel like it was filled with water and ready to roll off my head, and I would have "brain zaps". I researched for many different ways to get thru withdrawals. Trying to take benadryl, immodium, tylenol, etc. Trying to stay active, take warm baths, all that stuff. I realized my tramadol withdrawals were mostly physically debilitating on my brain. I did have restless legs and a little bit of stomach problems, but mostly issues with my head. Tramadol works both as a painkiller and antidepressant, but for me it worked mostly as an antidepressant. I was and I still am taking Adderall, but this was only making me more jittery at the time. I started to take 500mg of Magnesium every 12 hours, and this helped ALOT. Magnesium helps with muscle contractions and nerve impulses, so it took away the brain zaps and the restless legs. But, I still had depression and anxiety from not knowing how life was going to turn out and if I would relapse again like I usually do. I decided to see my doctor and tell them I have been dealing with alot of anxiety my whole life, which was the catalyst to start taking painkillers. They decided to put me on Celexa, an SSRI. I had the usual side effects for a couple weeks. Fast forward to now, 2 months later I'm on 30mg of Celexa and I've never felt more sane in my ENTIRE LIFE. I'm not saying all this stuff will work the same for u, but try some things, like L-Theanine or Theanine (I found this at any drugstore). That also helps, too.

I hope I was able to help in some way!
 
Glad you shared your story. Day 31 wrapping up for me from opiate addiction. Life is so much better clean, and gets better every day for me. I'll try to offer some encouragement and advice if possible!
 
Thank you for the replies.

Samboran: Thank you for the advice regarding Magnesium. I bought some. I try to use only natural supplements for my recovery.

TryingToGetBetter: Thank you for your reply. I read your story and it really gives me more motivation. It looks like it gets better with time. I still have problems with sleep but i am on day 6 so it might take some time to sleep normal again. I never want to go through sleepless nights again. You are doing great. Thank you.

Made the first weekend without using. It was OK. I stayed as busy as i could. But i am definitely missing something.. I hope the feeling of missing something decreases with time.

I keep you posted.
 
Hey Kahuna, really happy to see that you have decided to quit for good and that you're reaching out for help.

Early recovery can be extremely difficult and scary terrain to navigate. Even today at 8 months sober I still feel like this a lot of the time. I don't want to discourage you - The gifts you get when you continue being sober are numerous and miraculous. I'm about to start school for the first time in years, I'm getting myself healthy and exercising, I'm probably getting a car soon - Just know that it's not an easy road and you are going to need some support. I don't have much support right now besides Bluelight which is why I'm feeling like I'm lost and missing something - but at times in my recovery when I did have good support those feelings were virtually none existent. Just work hard to make and maintain friendships and relationships with people, work on your health, and work on staying sober and you will do great!
 
Hi.

I am on Day 10. Tuesday (Day 8 ) i finally could get some restful sleep. It was very refreshing.
The first few days I cried sometimes. I had a lot of mood swings.
Maybe it was caused by SSRI discontinuation syndrome because of the Tramadol.
I try to stay busy all time and it helps. It gets better every day.

It seems like the brain forgets the terrible WD symptoms very fast.
The first 7 days I was angry and told myself that I would never touch it again. Almost no cravings.
But when the body recovers the cravings come back. Physical I am definitely over the worst. Still some diarrhea but thats ok.
I think the hardest part is to stay sober. If I manage to stay sober this weekend, then it will be my longest time without opiates for over 3 years.

I have a good planned weekend so I think I can make it.

Sorry for spelling errors or bad grammar. English is not my first language. I hope you undestand.

Thank you for the support. I love this community.
 
Thats awesome news Kahuna.. keep up the great work.. maybe jot down a journal entry about how the withdrawals are.. or maybe start a thread along these lines.. a withdrawal suck so I never want to forget thread.. or something along those lines. Your doing great so dont forget to give yourself the credit you deserve. :)
 
The wide range of emotions and mood swings is totally normal kahuna! Everytime I have detoxed in the past I have gone from being stoked and ready to take on life one minute to crying and miserable the next minute randomly changing throughout the withdrawals. You probably have a lot of emotions and feelings that you have been stuffing down during your using, as well as a lot of emotions/feelings related specifically to the using, that you haven't been able to feel until the drugs started to leave your system. As NSA mentioned I would keep a journal, bot just a withdrawal log but write about what you're feeling and thinking. Try to explore the feelings you are feeling and even meditate on them if you feel up to it. You're doing so amazingly well right now kahuna I'm so stoked for you!! Keep it up, seriously - You earned this chance at a new life and you deserve it!
 
Here are some good links on Paws If you have not seen them yet.. it gets better quick.. stay in today cause if we slip into yesterday we can get hit with heavy guilt, shame, resentment and anger.. if we slip into tomorrow we can get hit with fear, anxiety, hopelessness, etc.. so just keep your thoughts in the moment in today.. your doing great!!!

A good way to get your thoughts in today is mindfullness Post Your Best Mindfulness Resources and Experiences >> http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/613916-Post-Your-Best-Mindfulness-Resources-and-Experiences

Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS)
Post Acute Withdrawal (PAW) Excerpted From “Staying Sober” By: Terence T. Gorski
Post-acute-withdrawal syndrome Wiki
 
Great job kahuna. I agree with neversick abhor creating a journal. Also, I've found that marking off my days on a calendar helps because it's a visual representation of my progress.
 
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