I really screwed up and screwed mself (methadone)

[keeponkeepnon]

So I don't know if this is a fruitless effort but it's a last ditch effort. I'm fighting a fatal blood disease. In order to tolerate the excruciating pain the medicine for it exacerbates I have to take methadone 30 mgs a day 10 mg x3 daily and oxycodone 40 mg daily. What the disease does in most black and white terms is destroy everyone of your red blood cells and replacing them with defective ones thus starving the entire body including vital organs of oxygen which causes a fibrillation when in extreme pain, chronic non inflammatory arthritis in every joint going and a cold deep pain into my bones this all compounded by bone crushing exhaustion and lyme disease. And what did I do ? The second month on methadone 2 friends ran into horrible positions right at Christmas 40 pills later out of my 90 and I'm staring at 2 pills with 9 days to go. I'm horrified. I have a good friend who tasked it but she's out helps me out like crazy. I've asked everyone. If course I can find everything typical but not done. My question is there any way in hell of utilizing a clinic for like a week anonymously I'm sure not. But if anyone has ANY ideas please please share. And my doctor is an angel but I just can't go to him with this it's just too stupid on my part. I'm in new England by the way if that matters at all. I will check this first thing in the morning. Remember I have 2 tablet left I'm to take 3 a day I'm struggling at half a day. Oh why do I do these things to myself? And of course my friends are now fine and I've been dealing with this for weeks. Thanks guys and gals.

 

[Ubi]

Well your Dr would rather know the truth than have you suffer. He/She may be stumped as to why you would share your meds and may be bound by some ethical boundaries type thing; you could tell a little white lie and say you lost some. They'll know your lying but again, if it saves them from having to cut you off (due to you giving them away, a big no no in the med world) they can at least refill your script with a stern warning.
and next time, remember, your the one who needs them. You must make them last because the consequences of running out as you know are brutal.
I hope you get some help. Keep thy meds safe
good luck

 

[JustADudeYep]

Been there but with dilaudid. Also been there from people stealing from me! I get freaked as hell if I know I'm gonna be cutting it close, so I get crazy like you described when I have ran out early! It is horrible. Anyway. I dont know much about methadone clinics but I'd imagine it is all anonymous, but you'll probably have to do an interview type thing and all that. Id suggest to find some in your area and start calling! Get some answers, my friend. Once you have shit covered then you'll quit freaking.

I will say that a family member stole a good portion of my dilaudid once and I freaked. I figured no wah I can try to get an early refill from my doc! But I finally decided to go in and tell him what happened, as well as remind him that I had never had any med issues for the 5 years that theyve treated me, so I was only asking him to help me out that ONE time, and if I ever had a similar issue again then I won' t ask for help or leniency ever again. My pain doc is a great guy but he had to think for a minute and said he decided he believed me and would save my ass that one and only time. SO it may be worth a shot to tell your doc something if you've never had these issues before. I dont think Iwould suggest telling that you gave them away to people, however. : / But call some clinics before they all close!! Good luck, and I know that horrrrrrible feeling!

 

[bdomihizayka]

You gotta learn to not be such a pushover man. What percentage of opiate users would willingly share their stash with friends- especially when they are physically dependent themselves? Less than a percent I fathom- that's insane dude. I would bet my life those "friends" wouldn't have done the same with you.

Anyways- you CAN go to a methadone clinic, and your normal doctor won't learn about it. Going to a methadone clinic doesn't get put on your med records.

 

[keeponkeepnon]

Oh my god you're kidding me I really can go.

 

[T. Calderone]

I think the methadone clinic may be your best bet given you have only two tablets left. You may have to wait until Monday though because many clinics don't accept new intakes over the weekend. You could try calling them in the morning and find out what their policy is. Good luck!

 

[fizzymk]

I used to go thru this exact same thing every fucking month, when I had a monthly script for methadone, from a pain doc...I would run out about 7-10 days early every month, and at first, I used to get 15s/30s or anything i could find, but with methadone, had to wait about 2-3 days for the half life before I could even feel anything else LOL it SUCKED!! Eventually I started getting H during this time, and it held me until I could get my script again, well, until my pain doc surprised me with a random drug test..they found morphine and discharged me...thus began my full time dance with H.

I dont think a methadone clinic would take you, as you are already getting done from another doc, they can check this shit easily now.

Best bet is get any kind of opiate u can find on the street, probably wont be done though, around here, theres not much demand for it on the street, it comes around here and there, nothing regular though, however I do know some people who get daily take homes from methadone clinic that sell their doses, if you know anyone..this could help u out.

 

[keeponkeepnon]

Well, after taking my very last piece around 1:45 pm after taking repeated doses of nyquil and klonopin and immodium to try to remain asleep but couldn't stand it any longer I was sent straight into WD hell. Since being unemployed as of very recently after a forced resignation by discriminatory new management after 3 and half years finances have been tight but I did some freelance pc work for my partners mother as I've been working on starting my own business as of late and she really did need help but was truly serious in wanting to pay me exactly as a regular customer would if not more which was really nice on her account. Unfortunately she found me in utter tears on the phone nearing the 3rd hour luckily I had finished the job and was chatting with my mom and dad about the issue. She of course took one look at me and said you want to go home don't you hunny? Thankfully she returned with a decent sum of cash and then my angel of a partner let me use his debit card which we of course got into a huge fight because i took out far more then anticipated because the price was right it was a Sunday and my car is in the shop so if I'm home with nothing it means I'm truly screwed as we no longer live in the city but rather much more beautiful rural New England.
Thankfully it was a blue Sunday which is truly strange as that never occurs but an old pal returned to town whom my guy met up with was able to purchase 11 blueberries and was given two sub strips 8 mg and also an additional blueberry for free if I did one with him lol. Fuck yeah are you kidding me ? It was truly relieving as I'm sure you all know I told him how it was the first time I had truly laughed in two days which is so out of character I'm a big laugher whether it be nerves or what have you I love to laugh apparently not so much when done, up and leaves the picture. I'm still about a 4 on the pain scale and I believe I took 6 blueberries over the course of 5 hours startling if you ask me. Thankfully I have an upcoming doctors appointment for my regular oxycodone prescription. It's amazing how over the last week I've really grown a set of balls won't get into it but no more shit for this guy and unfortunately NO MORE helping "friends" ever again. I hope you all don't judge me too much for resorting to such measures but I've been scripted all aforementioned drugs within the last 4 months so there's that. Anyway here is to hoping and praying pks can carry me thru. How freaking scary is that that pks won't even completely abait the WDS? Wow some nasty shit. Live and you learn I guess huh. Hope you all enjoy the long weekend thank you for your input it's truly appreciated from one stranger to another thanks.

 

[fizzymk]

Yea, methadone withdrawl is in a completely different level compared to anything else, it is absolute HELL, and lasts ungodly amount of time! I remember the worst thing was, not feeling comfortable no matter what I tried or did, I felt achy and tired, so I laid in bed, tried to sleep, but 2 minutes later, I couldnt stand to lay there another second, so had to get up, then 3 minutes later, I would be ready to lay in bed again, rinse and repeat, over and fucking over all day long, and since you cant get much sleep with methadone w/d, this goes on all night too, its like your body forces you to suffer as long as fucking possible and makes sure it the absolute worst feeling you can imagine, with no let up! I was cursing god when going thru this, for designing our brains receptors like this!!! Its like, yea I get it, withdrawl sucks and is painful, BUT methadone w/d just goes SOOO above and beyond that, it almost seem intentional, if that makes any sense? LOL

When you say 'blueberries', Im assuming you are talking about the little blue perc 30mgs..right? Yea, I used to get them ( and perc 15s) during the done w/ds and it never got me high, but it did take the sickness away for a couple hours!

Good luck!

 

[cj]

You gotta learn to not be such a pushover man. What percentage of opiate users would willingly share their stash with friends- especially when they are physically dependent themselves? Less than a percent I fathom- that's insane dude. I would bet my life those "friends" wouldn't have done the same with you.

Anyways- you CAN go to a methadone clinic, and your normal doctor won't learn about it. Going to a methadone clinic doesn't get put on your med records.

He's in England not America and I have no idea how socialized medical care works do you?


OP can you score heroin or some other opiate on the street to bridge the gap? If not there is the TOR darknet market route to explore. Then kratom Or poopy seed tea if all else fails. I think going to the doc is really risky in this situation. There is no way to know how they might respond. Though saying they got stolen is way better than admitting to distributing narcotics. In fact whatever you do don't ell the doc the truth.

 

[fizzymk]

He's in England not America and I have no idea how socialized medical care works do you?


OP can you score heroin or some other opiate on the street to bridge the gap? If not there is the TOR darknet market route to explore. Then kratom Or poopy seed tea if all else fails. I think going to the doc is really risky in this situation. There is no way to know how they might respond. Though saying they got stolen is way better than admitting to distributing narcotics. In fact whatever you do don't ell the doc the truth.

I agree, probably best to say they were stolen from your unlocked car...the doctors office may require a police report before they will replace it too, I knew someone who did this a few times and was able to get a fresh refill within a week of using their entire monthly script, of course they were selling most it, abusing it as well...they did have to make a fake police report,but people steal from unlocked cars all the time, its very common, so police will likely believe you. Another thing that helped my friend, they had some damage to the upper part of the car door, looked like someone had forced it open, they used this to their advantage!

When I lost my legit methadone script, I started using H like every day, sometimes every other day, and I do feel it helped me get thru that shit, but just know it doesnt take long to get hooked on the H, as its a MUCH better high than methadone...but even when/if you decide to quit H, coming off that is alot easier than coming off methadone!